“Grief never ends, but it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith, it is the price of love.” ~Darcie Sims
Five years ago this week, my wife’s mother completed her final rite of passage. Each passing of someone we love is unique–which makes it both terrible and wonderful. Terrible in that previous deaths fail to establish patterns we can count on; each brings its own peculiar pain. But wonderful, because each passage also brings a bittersweet joy, a farewell as distinctive as the person to whom we are saying goodbye.
Each death, leading up to our own, teaches us about Death, and therefore about Life.
We live in Plato’s Cave. And no matter what we may believe about “what’s after this,” we live as though this cave were the only reality. Yet at intervals, Death comes and takes away those we love. To where? To nothingness? We’re conflicted: we can’t see them anymore, and so it feels as though they have become nothing. But nothing is a false construct. What we call “nothing” is really just a change of form, a transition. Some will say, “Well, yes, the molecules still exist, but not the ‘person.’”
But are persons the sole exception, the only thing that ceases to exist? Quantum physics (as well as that innate something inside us that disconnects when we sleep or daydream) informs us that everything is, in reality, a part of an infinite Now, and that it is linear time, not we ourselves, that is an illusion. To have lived, even for a moment, is to live forever.
Contrary to the grim reaper caricature, Death isn’t the great destroyer (our temporal bodies are already dying, losing energy, long before Death arrives). No, Death is the great reviver that leads us out of this shadow reality, this Plato’s Cave, into the true Reality.
All rites of passage (birth, coming-of-age, marriage) are defined by love. But none so much as the final one. So, if it is love that accompanies our leaving–and if we are willing to accept it–may it not also be love…
That welcomes us to the other side?
“And so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, because that which can be seen is temporary, but that which is unseen is eternal.” ~2 Corinthians 4:17-18
Well said! I am so sorry for your loss. Indeed, it is love that awaits us on the other side. I am certain of it.
A thoughtful and lovely piece, Mitch. Onward into the mystery.
Thank you, and amen, Steve.
Thank you, Gabrielle.
Mitch,
If she knew the Lord it’s a wonderful journey ahead. I hope it gives us all hope as we age.
In Christ, Gary
Gary Avants Forbear Productions * *garyavants66@gmail.com garyavants66@gmail.com
I hold on to this belief that “Death is the great reviver that leads us out of this shadow reality, this Plato’s Cave, into the true Reality.”
For me Death is not the end…it is the beginning. To be sure, a great reviver.
I am very sorry for your loss, Mitch. No, death is not the end. However, it is never easy to so goodbye to a loved one. And grieving is a sign of great appreciation and realizing how much room someone filled in our hearts. Sending you and your wife loving thoughts.
Thank you, Erika.
Beautiful. Thank you.
My privilege, Renee.
Mitch, you’ve exceeded even your own habitual levels of excellence here. With your kind permission, will forward your paragraph on the nature of time to my readers as a quotation, with mention of source. 🙏
Of course, Ana. And I’m so glad the passage spoke to you.
🙏
I really love this, Mitch. Especially the idea that all rites of passage are defined by love. And you conclude with the passage of scripture I have read at many, many bedsides that provides such profound and necessary assurance. Thank you.
My privilege, dear friend.
Good article Mitch. For me I feel the grief but I choose to talk to Jesus and then he gives me the strength to go on. I know my expected end and I thank God everyday that I will live with Him forever. In fact Jesus promised us that he is coming again!
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. John 14:3
Grief is the price of love. What a beautifully succinct thought. And it is a bittersweet price but worth it for the lifetime of love we have with our beloved ones.
Amen, Ab.
A beautiful, beautiful post. I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and this wonderful message, Mitch.
My privilege, Damyanti, and thank you for your kind words.
Mitch, it is often hard to say goodbye, to loved ones that pass on to another life. When they are believers in Jesus, we know we will see them again. Your speaking of death as the great reviver is true. So many pass on to abundant life, in Heaven.
Knowing the person who is the Way, the Truth and the Life certainly deprives death of any victory. There are many friends and loved ones I deeply miss… who I am eagerly looking forward to embracing again. God bless you and your loved ones with the “sure and certain hope” of the Resurrection.
Thank you so much, Rob, and amen.
Homesick for heaven. . . .
Compassion in your grief and peace in your healing and acceptance. Beautifully written!
Thank you, Peggy.
“But nothing is a false construct.” Beautifully said. The journey of grief continues to teach me about love.
Thoughtful post, thank you for that. I was prepared to write a detailed response, but I started tearing up… I lost my adoptive mom last June, my mother-in-law in September, and my biological dad in January. Crazy life stories behind the loss of my parents and history that challenges too many definitions of this life to get into… So, I will simply say thank you for sharing…
Oh, Jamey, so much loss in such a short time. Praying.
Thank you… it has been a challenging time. Not always sad, but still challenging.
I believe that we sleep until God returns and raises us from the Dead.
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Great words, Mitch, thank you!
My privilege, Abe.
Thanks, Mitch, for reminding us that death is just a kind of passage. Scripture also speaks of death as a kind of passage: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” (Psalm 23:4) And then in the grand passage of 1 Corinthians 15:54-55: “Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” For us believers, death is indeed a kind of passage: to eternal life. And what a perfect week to be reminded of this!
Thanks, Keith, and amen.
Beautiful writing Mitch. I have read this over and over and will continue to do so. I love it. Blessings, Jeanne
Thank you, Jeanne. I’m so glad it blessed you.
That was absolutely beautiful. Thank you for writing this ❤️ I was just talking about transitioning and death this morning – what a blessing to have lived, to have loved and excepted into the arms of love.
Amen, Kate, and good to meet you.
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