Left: Beautiful thrills – Right: The Field, our own personal theme park
My Real Memoir: I Created the World’s Greatest Thrill Ride
I don’t mean to brag (yes, I do), but at age ten I created the greatest thrill ride the world has ever seen! And that’s no small claim coming from a guy who lived just minutes away from the original theme park, Knott’s Berry Farm, and a flashy wannabe built by some guy named Walt Disney (OK, I admit it, I loved them both).
Sometime during the previous year, they (you know, They) decided to build our little suburb’s first high school, the very one I would eventually attend. The problem was that La Mirada High School was slated to sit atop a hill in the middle of The Field, i.e., our Field!
Wait, what? They were about to civilize that vast, uncivilized wilderness that belonged exclusively to my friends and me; the one in which we’d hunted trapdoor spiders, built legendary treehouses, and waged the infamous “Shingle Wars“; the one wherein lay the secret entrance to the fabled Tunnel of Doom!
The Field…
…was our own personal theme park. And now They were going to dig a canyon through our hill in our theme park in order to extend Adelfa Drive to yet another school. “Adelfa” is the Spanish name for the poisonous oleander plant — this road was going to poison our private pristine playground!
Or would it? The moment They bulldozed that massive gouge through Our Hill something magical happened. The steep cliff-like slopes on either side screamed, “Use us!”
But how?
My Mind Began to Perk
Mommandad had recently purchased a washing machine. Which was boring. But it had arrived in The Biggest Cardboard Box Ever Made! Which Rory, Jeff, and I had already employed as a space capsule in our Secret Command Center (my garage). But now, thinking about those 100-foot-tall slopes (give or take a few feet), I began to wonder if…
Aha! I knew just what to do. With the help of R&J, I was able to devise a method by which two fearless astronauts lying side by side between thick layers of flattened cardboard would execute a countdown ending in the most exciting words ever uttered by humankind, “Blast off!” At which point several other kids would help push the Super Rocket-Sled over the edge!
To Our Astonishment…
…not only did the 10,000-mph ride not kill us; the onrushing shower of asteroids (pebbles) bounced harmlessly over the space-age cardboard surface until we glided to a stop on the unpaved road below.
Within minutes of our maiden voyage, every kid in the La Miradaverse came running. So, we established a rule: each would-be astronaut had to earn their ride first by serving as a sled-pusher. It truly was the most spectacular attraction The Field – heck, the world – had ever seen!
But then, They paved Adelfa Drive. Once the asphalt dried and cars began using the road, our attraction was forced to close down. Still, while it lasted (eat your heart out, Mr. Knott and Uncle Walt), our Super Rocket-Sled was…
The World’s Greatest Thrill Ride!








