My first home (as I remember it)
My Real Memoir – Two Lives: Real and Realer (Imaginary)
From the Very Beginning…
I had two lives: real and realer (my imagination), probably because I was always alone. I was apparently daydreaming in the womb, staring at some pretty placental pictures, when the doctor announced, “He doesn’t want to come out. I’ll have to use force, er…forceps.” After he pried me out, he said, “Well, hope he’s a good’n, because you won’t have another.”
And so, you see it was my fault that I never acquired a sibling. Hence, my BFF was — and still is — my imagination. We gathered a lot of wool together, my imagination and I. Lying upside down on the old armchair in the garage. Traveling through Upsidedownland. Rappelling from the roof beams and soaring through the rafters. The latter, thanks to Grandpa, was because I could fly!
I Had Other Magical Powers Too
My tricycle made ice cream when I churned the pedals and chanted, “I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.” Plus, I could transform my Radio Flyer wagon into anything I wanted: an airplane, a boat, a locomotive!
I was certain the neighbors watched in awe as I executed these amazing transformations. All except the Witch, the lady who’d had me arrested for turning myself into a Wild Indian. That happened so early on, I barely remembered it. Yet henceforth she forbade me to walk on “her” side of the street, under threat of having “Them” take me away “forever.” Result? The only time I was allowed to cross the street was when I passed the Witch’s house. In fact, my first two real friends Crazy Old Alice and Weird Eddie lived there in the land of TOSOTS (The Other Side of the Street).
Unfortunately, the Witch Also Had Powers
I found out when I was in Dreamland. Dreamland was my favorite place to visit. I could fly even better there than in Upsidedownland. But one night Dreamland felt scarier and less magical. The Hallway was wickedly dark and cold. Momandad’s room was dark and cold too, and empty, so I couldn’t run and hide under the covers between them!
Suddenly, the Witch was there in the Hallway with me! Only now she was ten feet tall and all see-through-y like a ghost! I tried to fly, but her powers were mightier than mine, and she stopped me! So I ran. But I could only run in place, and the Witch was getting nearer and nearer! Finally, she reached out and grabbed my shoulder with her monstrous, spindly fingers. They were the coldest thing I’d ever felt, and I was sure they’d turn me to ice! But they didn’t — they passed right through me. She couldn’t hold me!
And then, in a flash, Momandad were there. They could hold me! And they’d brought the light back with them. So you see, I was never really alone, I only thought I was. But thinking you’re alone…
Can be the scariest thing there is.
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