The Day I Discovered Music

You Send Me‘ 1957 by Sam Cooke

My Real Memoir

It was the day I discovered music. But I wouldn’t realize it until years later. True, I liked music, thanks in large part to my Uncle Walt (Disney). I danced along with the Mouseketeers and, like every other kid in the Disneyverse, wore my coonskin cap when I sang along to the Davy Crockett theme. But I didn’t make music, and I had no impulse to do so–yet. My first love was stories, particularly in the form of movies.

Movies and Music

We usually popcorned at our local suburban bijou, the Meralta. The first movies I saw there, again from Uncle Walt, had memorable music, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Peter Pan, The Great Locomotive Chase. I’d turn my Radio Flyer wagon into a locomotive or Captain Nemo’s Nautilus. Or I’d race about with my arms outstretched, singing “You Can Fly” from Peter Pan, and desperately hoping that, despite my dearth of pixie dust, I would finally achieve lift-off.

That summer I’d fallen in love with Debbie Reynolds in Tammy and the Bachelor at the Meralta, and left the theatre with its hit theme song on perpetual repeat in my head. Little did I know that music and Debbie would play co-starring roles in my future.

It Was the Last Time…

…I would see a movie at the Meralta, and the first time I would experience live music. Not surprisingly, we’d come to see a musical The Pajama Game (which would also reappear in my life later on). “But before the movie begins,” the theater manager announced, “you’re in for an unusual treat, a live musical performance!” And then he welcomed an unknown singer, a handsome young guy (Mom noted) named Sam Cooke.

Sam plugged his electric guitar into something that looked like a really big radio, an amplifier. I’d never seen or heard of either. It looked nothing like the four-string “Mousegetar” Jimmy Dodd played on the Mickey Mouse Club. Sam started with a tune he’d written, one that would become a landmark in music history.

Sam Sent Me…

…to a place I’d never been before. “You Send Me” was one of the first songs ever to crossover from R&B onto popular music charts, and is still considered one of the 500 greatest songs of the 20th century. Sam sang two more tunes that night, including his soulful take on Gershwin’s “Summertime” (he also pioneered soul music). And then, we were all given free copies of his first 45 release, featuring both songs!

I played that 45 until the grooves wore off. But the real “groove” never wore off. My first exposure to live music had introduced me to one of the greatest singer/songwriters in music history. Sam Cooke planted a seed in me for a new love. Music would live in my heart alongside stories and movies for the rest of my life. And a decade later, the seed and need that Sam had planted that night…

Would become a full-grown sapling.

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Can We Reverse Our “Wing Flaps”?

Butterfly - photo by Nathan Dumlao (unsplash.com)Photo by Nathan Dumlao

Thought for the Week

Regarding the Butterfly Effect

Can we reverse our “wing flaps”? I find the idea intriguing that the mere flap of a butterfly’s wing in, say, Nebraska could start a chain reaction leading to a tsunami in Sr Lanka. The point being that, with each “wing flap,” i.e. word or deed, we initiate a chain of effects. Sometimes for good and sometimes for bad.

For Good

An old college student of mine, now a well-loved pastor and community leader, looked me up. He astonished me by telling me that my class, along with the student dinners my wife and I hosted, had profoundly affected the course of his life.

For Bad

The wife of another student (different class) informed me that he was deeply offended by something I’d said or done. But I have no idea what it was because he refused to ever speak with me again. Sometimes our wing flaps can’t be reversed.

But sometimes they can.

When I Was a Teenager…

I accidentally swung a golf club back and broke my cousin Larry’s nose. Thirty-two years later at, ironically, a Thanksgiving dinner, he stunned the family by announcing that he’d never forgiven me. Not for injuring him, but for so quickly excusing my actions (“I didn’t know you were there!”), instead of showing real concern. This, Larry said, was why he found it so hard to believe in God. If I was the product of such a God, he said, he wanted nothing to do with him. The family came to my rescue: “Mitch didn’t mean it!” “It was thirty years ago!” They urged him to let it go.

But God didn’t. I could sense Him whispering, “Fix this.”

So I Begged Larry’s Forgiveness

It was one long overdue reverse wing flap. I remember the way his eyes searched mine for telltale twitches of insincerity. And then the way they softened. Was it enough? I pray so. Less than a year later, Larry passed away, and after the funeral his wife told me that what I’d said had started him on the path to believing in God again.

Matthew 6:33 tells us to, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness (justice), and all these things (needs, hopes, relationships) will be added unto you.” Significantly, the original Greek for “added” refers not to rewards, but to results of the actions we take. When that still, small voice whispers, “Fix this,” it’s time to…

Reverse our wing flaps.

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Our Butterfly Effect

Our Butterfly EffectSeek First the Kingdom of God

Each of Us Has a Role to Play

It’s our butterfly effect. People tend to think of Matthew 6:33 as a promised reward for righteousness (or justice), and in a sense it is that. But it’s much more. It’s each of us playing our role in resetting this broken world, putting in motion the greatest butterfly effect in history!

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Family Is As Family Does

Family Is As Family DoesSource: boredpanda.com

Size? Appearance? Race? Species? Meh.

Family is as family does. When I was a young man, I rented a room from a therapist whose family had rejected him. So he’d learned to create families. He’d match up patients with no “real” family: orphaned, disowned, unable to reconcile, young, old. Not all pairings clicked, of course, and some took a lot of work to get there. But others healed hearts. Many, the therapist told me, would come to him with tears in their eyes, and say, “They love me for who I am.” And he’d reply, “Yes, that’s what a real family does.”

Click on any image to enlarge it or to begin slide show.

“Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know.” ~Mitch Albom

“When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching–they are your family.” ~Jim Butcher

“Home isn’t where you’re from, it’s where you find light when all grows dark.”~Pierce Brown

“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” ~Oscar Wilde

“A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.” ~Mary Karr

“One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family.” ~Jonathan Safran Foer

“Home is where you are loved the most and act the worst.” ~Marjorie Pay Hinckley

“Ask anyone and they’ll most likely say their family is crazy, and if they don’t say their family is crazy, their friends are crazy. That’s because everyone is crazy after taking the mask off.” ~Criss Jami

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Should I Celebrate My Own Birth?

Should I Celebrate My Own BirthImage courtesy of Cake Designs

It’s My Birthday, So What?*

Should I celebrate my own birth? Merely soliciting “Congrats!” responses seems rather pointless. And as an essayist, I always want to have a point. But then, even as I type this, I realize I do have a point. It’s the very question I just posed.

Sure, my knee-jerk response (despite the fact that I’m inherently self-absorbed) is, “No, too self-absorbed!” But, upon reflection, this may be the one occasion it’s actually appropriate for me to celebrate myself. Yes, there are things I need to fix about myself–a lot of things (you see how self-absorbed I am?). And yet, despite all these things, I’m glad I was born.

Why?

Because I love existing, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Literally, since, if I didn’t exist, there would be no “I” to want it any other way. But as I do, I love having constant opportunities to grow. And most of all, I love being able to love. Others, that is, even if I am sometimes rather bad at it, and, yes, even myself. But most of all, I love existing so I can love my Creator.

Therefore, thank you, God, for giving me so many things to do and things to learn and things to love. And, today at least, thank you for the one thing that makes doing all these other things possible. Thank you for, you know…me.

*P.S. My actual birthday was May 12th, two days ago.

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The Sky Goes All the Way Down

Source: Raised to Action

My Real Memoir

The sky goes all the way down, I thought. Or at least it did where we lived. It didn’t in L.A. because the buildings got in its way. Mom used to work there, but when Dad got a new job, she quit. We were going to move to where Dad worked as soon as we bought a new home. Would the sky go all the way down there? I wouldn’t find out for another two months. So, in the meantime, I had to start Second Grade here in Downey.

I’d Always Been a Little Different

I didn’t see things the same way other kids did. That showed up the first week of school. It was Art Time, and we were supposed to color what we saw outside the classroom window. There was a lot of brown, unhappy grass, but the Big Shady Tree looked happy. And so did the honeysuckle vine that hugged the schoolyard fence. The sidewalk outside was covered with its “used” blossoms. Every kid at Gallatin School stopped to drain them of their little dots of nectar, because the most exquisite treats were the ones you could never quite get enough of.

And above all, there was the sky. Except that it wasn’t just above all. For every kid but me, sky was a blue stripe along the top of their picture. But that didn’t make sense because the sky didn’t stop at the top! I followed it all the way down to scientifically verify my findings. Yes, it definitely went all the way to the ground!

I yanked two blue-stripers out of their seats and dragged them over to the window. “Look,” I said, “the sky goes all the way down!”

“No, it doesn’t, dumbhead,” one of them explained.

“Yes, it does! Mrs. Peavey said it’s made out of the same stuff we breathe, so it has to be down here where we are!”

“It can’t be,” the other replied, “it’s the wrong Crayola color.”

Actually, the sky down here didn’t seem to be any Crayola color. “Well, that’s because it…it turns all see-throughy when it gets to us.”

“So then it’s not sky anymore, is it, dumbhead?”

The Following Week Was Worse

I drew a house on fire. Yes, I knew fire was supposed to be Red #238, but I was tired of red fire, so I drew Green fire…and Red water coming out of all the firehoses! And then I laughed.

My First Grade teacher Miss Peggy had liked that I was different. But it worried Mrs. Peavey. She took me to the school Counselor, who called my mom to see if everything was OK at home. “Yes,” Mom explained, “he’s just a little, you know, different.” The Counselor agreed.

So Mrs. Peavey put my picture up with all the others in time for Back to School Night. But I think she got a little tired of explaining to the parents, “Oh, that kid? Yes, everything’s OK at his home, he’s just a little, you know, different.”

To read My Real Memoir from the start, click hereTo read the next episode, click here.

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What’s Wrong with Our World?

What's Wrong With Our World?

Thought for the Week

“It will never be known what acts of cowardice have been motivated by the fear of not looking sufficiently progressive.” ~Charles Péguy

What’s wrong with our world? I don’t know of any nation or society that’s ever been universally improved by a massive single-agenda fix. Not only because cultures are complex, constantly-changing organisms (and not single-purpose machines), but because what ails them is never a single thing, let alone a single scapegoat or group of people.

Nevertheless

Within the course of five minutes, I encountered three massive single-agenda “fixes” on the popular Q&A site Quora, each with thousands of upvotes, in response to the question, “Where did America go wrong, and what’s the fix?”

  1. Republicans are, by definition, evil. They’re all racist, sexist bigots and child-abusers. The fix: Silence them, make their agenda illegal, and install a new, permanent Democrat agenda.
  2. Democrats are, by definition, evil. They’re all devil-worshipping communist pedophiles. The fix: Silence them, make their agenda illegal, and install a new, permanent Republican agenda.
  3. Puritans are, by definition, evil (this one caught me off-guard). They, the early settlers of New England, with their “insane religious beliefs,” laid the groundwork for an “insane nation” with an “insane, racist Constitution;” they also introduced slavery. (Despite this person’s spectacularly inaccurate recap of U.S. history, not one person disagreed). The fix: Silence religious people, make their agenda illegal, and install a new, permanent Marxist-atheist government.

May I Ironically Suggest

…that there is, in fact, a single, transparent answer to the rather simplistic question, “What’s wrong with this country/world/society and what’s the fix?”

We are.

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Every Day is Mother’s Day

Photo by Mitch Teemley

Happy Mother’s Day!

And remember, every day is Mother’s Day. I took this photo of my wife Trudy and our recently-born first child when Trudy was exhausted. And yet all I see is her bottomless, heart-melting love, a love that has no end.

“Call your mother. Tell her you love her. Remember, you’re the only person who knows what her heart sounds like from the inside.” ~Rachel Wolchin

Note: If your relationship with your mother is complicated, or if her own issues caused her to fail, you’re not alone. But your heart still beat within her once. So, if you can, call her.
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Hilarious High School Yearbook Quotes

hilarious high school yearbook quotesPottering Around

It’s That Time Again

The end of the school year is upon us. Which means it’s time for graduating seniors to get in the last word. These hilarious high school yearbook quotes are from the true Masters of Snark. Forget about grade point averages, these are the kid who, in life beyond high school, are the “Most Likely to Exceed!”

Click on any image to enlarge it, to read quote, or to start slide show.

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I Always Knew You Loved Me, Mom

I made the above Mother’s Day video a few years back. I’ve posted it here so you can share it with others, if you wish. To show it at a church or other public gathering, click here.

Mom was twenty when I was borntwenty times as old as me. But when I turned ten, I suddenly realized, she was only three times as old as me–and when I turned twenty she would be only two times as old as me. “Soon,” I thought, “she’ll be younger than me!” (Math wasn’t my strong suit.) By the time I got to college I’d finally figured out that Mom would always be exactly twenty years older than me. Which meant she would always have twenty years more life experience than me.

It was like hiking with a tall friend: You come to a fork in the road, behind which is a hill. You can’t see what the two paths do beyond that hill, so how can you choose which one to take? You ask a tall friend who can see beyond the hill. Despite the fact that she was only 5’2″, Mom was my “tall friend.”

Still, she was experiencing new things too. When I was six, she was learning how to be the mother of a six-year-old. When I was sixteen, she was learning how to survive being the mother of a sixteen-year-old. Not to mention all the other stuff life throws at women.

My perspective changed when I realized Mother’s Day wasn’t just a celebration of who my mom was, it was a celebration of who she was becoming. The only thing that remained the same from start to finish was her love. And when she passed, I remembered that no matter what changes she was going through, she always loved me.

That inspired my short play I Always Knew You Loved Me, as well as the short film version above about a trio of young adults and their seemingly-unrelated Mom stories. To read or perform the play, click here. And again, to share the video publicly, click here.

I love you, Mom. Every version of you. And I’m glad I never caught up with you. I mean, who wants to be older than their mom, right?

Happy Mother’s Day!

Posted in Culture, For Pastors and Teachers, Humor, Memoir, Movies, Videos | Tagged , , , , , , | 42 Comments