My Real Memoir
It was late summer when Rick showed up, tragically bored. “Let’s go somewhere, anywhere.” Anywhere Trips With Rick were patently dangerous. Like the winter we’d awakened under four feet of snow. Or the time we’d driven to Sequoia, arriving in the wee hours, and thrown our sleeping bags down in the first meadow we came to. Rick sat eating potato chips while I slept, full of mountain air. Around dawn, I was awakened by a low grunting noise, opened my eyes, and saw a large bear snarfing potato chips off the Lays buffet next to me—Rick in his sleeping bag! I watched in terrified silence until the bear finally left with the bag in his mouth (chip bag, not sleeping bag). To this day, Rick thinks I ate his chips and invented the story.
This time, we decided to drive all the way to Mount Shasta near the Oregon border. So we shoved underwear, cereal and socks into a cardboard box, and hit the road.
Fourteen hours later we rolled into the parking lot of Lake Siskiyou near Mt. Shasta. Once again we crawled into our sleeping bags, but this time in the back of my olive green mini-wagon. Just before drifting off, I heard a hideous, otherworldly scream.
Sunrise pierced the darkness, revealing Mt. Shasta’s majestic reflection on the lake before us. I sat on the car hood, eating Cheerios, in awe of the paradisiacal sight. Still a recovering atheist, I thought, There’s something intentional about this view–it’s trying to tell me something. But it was in a language I didn’t understand.
My reverie was broken by a scream just like the one I’d heard the night before. To my astonishment there was a spectacular seven-foot-wide feathered fan in front of me. It was a peacock, as in a male of the peafowl species. Rick instantly dubbed him “Joan.” Joan and his harem were parking lot panhandlers. A stiff shake of the feathers meant, “Will flash for food.”
So I tossed him a Cheerio. He snatched it out of the air. Then another. And another. His wives laid back, picking up cast-offs, but Joan wide-received at least two dozen passes. I finally slid off the car hood, re-stuffed our cardboard box and walked around to the other side of the car.
Suddenly the world exploded. Nails pierced my arms. Huge objects flailed at the sides of my head. A railway spike drove repeatedly at my eyes! It was Joan. I have no idea what set him off. Mating season? Had I accidentally uttered a Persian insult? I had no choice but to defend myself or wander blind forever, blood streaming from Oedipal eyes.
So I punched him in the face.
I don’t take pleasure in abusing birds. But it was punch-or-be-impaled. Joan lay stunned on the ground for a moment, and then jumped up, ready for more, his head bobbing menacingly. The winner, presumably, would get the harem. As I walked away, Joan screamed insults at me. True, he was not the only creature who ever scarred me.
But he was probably the prettiest.
Compared to Joan’s attack, this is polite conversation, but it’ll give you some idea:
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Oh my. That would have shook me up if that happened to me. Blimey. The damage those birds can do, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Blimey indeed, Liz.
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Only you!
I’ve always thought peacocks were aggressive too
You always give me a giggle…I used to live where we looked at Mt. Shasta daily from our window in Southern Oregon. Beautiful but not so exciting as your adventure!
Looks can be deceiving. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as long as you don’t lose an eye in the process. Quite the tail.🙂
What a gruesome experience. He must have seen you as a challenger 😄. During breeding or rather mating season many birds, but also other animals are in a crazy mode.
Yep!
The peacock must have felt you were absconding with his new delectable stash of Cheerios. Great tale of survival, Mitch. 🙂
;>) Thanks, Nancy.
I worked for a hospital in FL where several peacocks roamed the back employee parking lot. We were told they could be nasty, aggressive, and dangerous, so there were days I’d wait for them to walk further away from my car before gingerly attempting to leave. You’re lucky to still have both eyes!
And glad of it, MissP!
What a harrowing tale, well told!
Was the ‘tail’ in the title intentional? I expected it to be, but I couldn’t find the tail in the story… ;)
Wow! I guess the peacocks at the Amish farm that we visit, must be of the non-violent faith like their owners!
Give me an Amish peackock any day!
#metoo
Wish I could include a photo. I was actually trying to take pics and got an accidental photo OF the attack in progress. LOL
!!!
Whew … Close one (lol) !! 😉
Great story! The video is cool!
Yikes!! That was a close call.
Mitch, you and Rick seemed to attrack trouble. The bear only eating the chips was hilarious but also dangerous! He must not have been too hungry that day. The peacock was certainly ungrateful for the sack you gave him earlier. Good thing you were able to escape without permanent damage!
Wow….I never knew Peacocks would attack! They are very loud but I didn’t know they got aggressive.
The way he’s strutting around… sudden visual of John Travino in disco duds, all made up, walking down 5th Ave to the beat of “Stayin’ Alive” (which you barely did 🙂
;>)
Quite the experience. I would have been screaming like crazy if it had been me 🤪
My sister-in-law used to keep peacocks, Mitch, and yes, their screams are terrifying! I always used to give them a wide berth.
I’ve heard that peacocks can be dangerous. I’m glad you were able to save yourself.
Me too!
You are the only person I know who has been attacked by a peacock! I didn’t realize they do that. But it does make me wonder why we used to see them wandering around the zoo, not in any sort of enclosure. Yowza!
They’re known for being aggreassive, but homicidal…? Apparently, I’m special.
I always thought peacocks are beautiful. I didn’t know they’re aggressive. 😅
Wow. I’ll be thinking twice about feeding our new neighbor, “Pete.” He escaped from a pet store and has been hanging out on our nextdoor neighbors’ roof, our deck, and the chicken coop on the other side of us. The pet store owners declined to come get him. I think maybe now I know why.
!!!
That would be super scary to witness that Bear. I am glad Rick didn’t wake up and nobody got hurt. Also, sorry but I have to laugh as I envision Peacock Self-Defense.
Beautiful birds, but I didn’t realize Peacocks could turn nasty if the Cherrios didn’t keep coming! 😊
Interesting story, Mitch. Never know all about any creature. Enjoyed this (not that you got attacked, of course.)
Thanks, San.
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Have you considered interviewing for a new friend? It sounds like he is a little too much like you! LOL
;>)
these are great! All very accurate!! I had brought cookies for a bake sale and one of my hs students “forgot “ something in the room. He came out with a mouthful of something. I said, “Steven did you take one of my cookies?” He said “no” and crumbs were literally falling out of his mouth. I miss those stinkers!!
;>)
What type of punch did you find most effective? I would think an undercut would be nothing but plumes. A right cross or jab would probably do it.
Not sure, Chuck, but whatever it was it seemed to do the trick.
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