My Real Memoir

f2d72ac4fa998c4ff44b2bc107b4405c

Those who visit frequently may have noticed that I tend to post memoir entries at the start of each week. These used to be called “Memoir Mondays” because I like alliteration. But lately, for practical reasons (much to the vexation of my OCD) they’ve turned into Tuesdays. (Did you see how I subtly used alliteration there, OCD?)

Until now, the order of my memoir posts has been non-chronological (sorry, OCD). I simply wrote about whatever popped into my head, or themed the post around a continuing topic (scars, food, career, my spiritual journey).

However, for some time I’ve had a desire to write a real memoir, as in a book, or more likely a couple of books. And so it occurred to me that if I started doing weekly memoir posts in chronological order, I could lay the groundwork for My Real Memoir (aka Don’t Read This, You’ll Only Encourage Him) and get my OCD off my back.

So…

Thus beginneth the Life of Mitch: “It was a dark and stormy night, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” No, wait, that would be 2021 (and a smidge unoriginal). Let’s go further back…

According to Ancestry.com, the first Teemley, Conrad (whose father was not named Teemley) came to America from Germany. He married a sweet German girl with the same first, last, and middle name as his mother. OK, that’s kinda creepy. Except that Conrad’s mother wasn’t his mother. Which is to say that, apparently Conrad was illegitimate (I’ve been called a bastard a few times, but never realized it was historical).

And his wife? No actual relation to Conrad’s same-named cheated-on non-mom, but a woman with a completely different set of parents (whew). Only, she didn’t have the same name as her father either. Sagen was? (Say what?)

And, adding to the mystery, according to AncestryDNA.com, I have no German blood! Because, even though Conrad and Eva were German-born, they weren’t actually Germans. The logical conclusion, therefore, is that they were international spies serving undercover as stodgy 19th century farmers. Or could it be Ancestry.com is confused? Nein!

This is going downhill fast. Let’s fast-forward a bit.

“Chapter One: I Am Born.” I was born in Whittier, California, the home of Richard M. Nixon, to whom I’m also not related (whew). “So you won’t have me to kick around anymore” (that’s funny if you’re old).

Oops, out of time.

Until next week, meine freunde, auf wiedersehen!

Said the maybe-not-German memoirist.

My Real Memoir is a series. To read the next one, click here.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Memoir and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

115 Responses to My Real Memoir

  1. Pingback: My First Big Fork in the Road | Mitch Teemley

  2. Looking into the past can be quite adventurous sometimes. lol 🙂 Good luck with your future books project. ^_^

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: If Adventure Has a Name… | Mitch Teemley

  4. Pingback: The Lure of the Forbidden | Mitch Teemley

  5. Pingback: To Go Where No Kid Has Gone Before! | Mitch Teemley

  6. Pingback: The Tunnel of Doom | Mitch Teemley

  7. Pingback: Confessions of an 8-Year-Old Prankster | Mitch Teemley

  8. Pingback: My Early Brushes with Mortality | Mitch Teemley

  9. Pingback: The Day I Ran Away | Mitch Teemley

  10. Pingback: The Day My World Got Bigger | Mitch Teemley

  11. Pingback: Newspapers and Talking Birds | Mitch Teemley

  12. Pingback: Skateboarding in the Stone Age | Mitch Teemley

  13. Pingback: The Quirky Memoir Collection | Mitch Teemley

  14. Pingback: The Year I Became “The Clever Kid” | Mitch Teemley

  15. Pingback: My Teacher Turned Me Into a Martyr! (I Got Better) | Mitch Teemley

  16. Pingback: The Year My Conscience Awoke | Mitch Teemley

  17. Pingback: The Year I Almost Believed | Mitch Teemley

  18. Pingback: God, Summer Camp, and Talking in My Sleep | Mitch Teemley

  19. Pingback: I Created the World’s Greatest Thrill Ride (at Age Ten)! | Mitch Teemley

  20. Pingback: I Grew Up in a Theme Park | Mitch Teemley

  21. Pingback: We Have All the Time in the World | Mitch Teemley

  22. Pingback: Foods I’ve Known and Loved | Mitch Teemley

  23. Pingback: Cats I Have Known and Loved | Mitch Teemley

  24. Pingback: The Legend of Fat Cat | Mitch Teemley

  25. Pingback: The True Tale of Toby the Turtle | Mitch Teemley

  26. Pingback: Goodbye, Brother Cat | Mitch Teemley

  27. Pingback: My Prize Trip to Hell | Mitch Teemley

  28. Pingback: I Gave Birth to a Monster! | Mitch Teemley

  29. Pingback: My Recurring Nightmare | Mitch Teemley

  30. Pingback: My Unacceptable Nakedness | Mitch Teemley

  31. Pingback: My Final Summer with Grandpa | Mitch Teemley

  32. Pingback: That Time I Almost Joined the Circus | Mitch Teemley

  33. Pingback: The Darkness Within Us | Mitch Teemley

  34. I’m very sad to say I got the Nixon joke. Great storytelling as always, Mitch. God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Pingback: Our Replacement Home | Mitch Teemley

  36. Pingback: I Dare You | Mitch Teemley

  37. Pingback: My Phobia | Mitch Teemley

  38. Pingback: The Boy with Two Brains | Mitch Teemley

  39. Pingback: The Jesus Lady | Mitch Teemley

  40. Pingback: The Year I Began to Figure Out Who I Was | Mitch Teemley

  41. Pingback: Shakespeare on Roller Skates | Mitch Teemley

  42. Pingback: Summer Treats on Wheels! | Mitch Teemley

  43. Terveen Gill says:

    This is hilarious. Your sarcastic humor is admirable. Any roots in India? Sarcasm is quite prevalent here. Haha. Great sharing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Pingback: Partyin’ Hearty at Age Eleven | Mitch Teemley

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s