Illustration by Jenn Wei
My Real Memoir
I had time again. Which was bad. Time was my enemy. Having time meant constantly obsessing over controlling my thoughts. I’d felt almost normal during rehearsals for my musical Adam and Eve. And afterwards, I’d occupy myself by making out with Jelli or Sharon, my show’s no-strings-attached woodwind player. But they were pleasant distractions, likers, not lovers.
Was love what I needed? Would I find peace when I finally found “the one”? Or was love just another means of escape? I’d hear “Afternoon Delight” and wistfully recall my former love Kat. But then the radio would blast my newly-adopted anthem “Carry on my wayward son, there’ll be peace when you are done.” And I’d remind myself, “Kat and the old you are gone, Mitch. You’ll just have to carry on until…”
I met this girl. Or rather re-met her. She was the doe-eyed soprano I’d flirted with on a Kansas City choir trip six year earlier. We picked up right where we’d left off. “If you’re not too busy,” she winked, “there’s a group of us who get together for philosophical stuff.” She wrote the address on the back of my hand. Cute and smart. Perfect!
She wasn’t there. “There” being a suburban living room, with a group of yuppies chatting around a black lacquer shrine. “Yeah, she comes sometimes,” a guy told me. Someone rang a bell, and everyone suddenly sat down and began chanting. Noticing my confusion, the guy handed me a flyer. “There’s a gathering this weekend. They’ll explain why we do this. It’s amazing, really, completely scientific!” “Will she be there?” I asked. “Maybe.”
She wasn’t there. I was about to leave when a monk stepped out onto the NSA’s (Nichiren Shoshu Academy) retreat center porch and welcomed us. Those who stayed, he said, would be given a scroll called a gohanzan. It contained a phrase known as “the miracle mantra.” Its vibrations were scientifically proven to resonate with the creative energy of the universe. Thus, anyone who chanted it got whatever they asked for: peace, happiness, money, a new job, love!
I felt like an idiot, but I stayed and accepted a gohanzan. And then I asked for the translation. Bad form. The monk frowned and said I didn’t need to know what it meant, only that it worked. Nevertheless, I pestered him until he went and found me a no-frills print-out. “It doesn’t work in English,” he warned.
At home, per instructions, I set up a low table in my bedroom corner, and mounted the gohanzan on the wall behind it. Then I read the print-out. The miracle mantra, nam myoho renge kyo, it said, meant “I devote myself to the mystical teachings of the Lotus Sutra” (Siddhartha Gautama the Buddha’s final instructions). The gohonzan also contained the names of the four devas (gods) who watch over our world. Good to know.
I chanted for a few days, and then quit. It all seemed so shallow and materialistic. Instead, I began reading up on real Buddhism (NSA is controversial, even in Japan). Buddhism’s many “paths” were a fascinating but incredibly convoluted means of spiritual liberation. Which was why one of the heroes of my youth H.G. Wells, and philosopher William James, “the father of American psychology,” considered it the second most beneficial body of spiritual teachings, after those of Jesus.
Funny how he kept reentering the picture.
My Real Memoir is a series. To read the next one, click here.
It is fascinating how He keeps showing up at the right time. “the path to hell is a gentle slope, soft underfoot, with no warning signs” C.S. Lewis. A man, though a fool, stays on the narrow path that is the road to holiness. Well experienced Mitch
Thanks, Jack.
A very worthwhile post, Mitch, but your reference to William James being the ‘father of psychology’ is incorrect. He is considered to be the ‘father of American psychology’. Nevertheless, your post was, as usual, well worth reading.
Right you are, Danny. Just fixed it. And thanks.
Zen Buddhist principles have been incorporated into mental health practices because of their emphasis on self-awareness, mindfulness, and concentration.
Excellent Mitch. I stumbled into Zen as well. I was a professional flutist for years. One of the main things you have to learn is to learn how to breathe, to concentrate on how one breathes. So similar to mediation, I was doing it before I knew I was doing it. Excellent post
Thanks, Ahzio.
i sometimes wonder if people really understand what zen is, because it all sounds so nice. but if they really did understand it, would they really want it?
Now I’m curious, how long did this last for you?
Well, just to be clear, I didn’t actually become a Buddhist, Iba (the title is tongue-in-cheek). I did, however, read up on Buddhist teachings for a month or two.
I gathered that because He continues to appear. But were you a little convinced by the Buddhist teachings?
I found value in Siddhartha Gautama’s ethics, Iba, and in part, in his emphasis on letting go of worldly attachments. But I didn’t believe in reincarnation, so the goal of escaping it didn’t attract me.
Mitch, I gotta admit, this is the first time I ever heard of anyone’s accidentally becoming a Buddhist. (Not that becoming Buddhist is ever not a mistake.)
Interesting, thanks for the post
There were times when I went to Buddhist temples and just sit and meditate for an hour or more. I have a Green Tara in my threapy practice because it represents growth through action. That totally is my thing. When even I lost a bit of connection in the past years, I still feel very close with Buddhism. Thanks for this post that brought back so much light and warmth to my heart.
It appears you were wandering around in a maze looking for the best way out but kept finding dead ends. At least you kept trying👍
That’s the key, or eventually leads to it anyway. Thanks, Nancy.
In my religious searching, it seemed to me that what the originators of world religions had in common was the belief that we are all one. In some ways, science says the same thing. I’m definitely a person whose primary spiritual source is the Jesus of the bible and the Jesus of my personal experiences. but those have both led me to believe that we are all one, so what we do affects everyone and everything.
Somehow, this got posted as anonymous. It’s actually my comment. I get klutzier every day! Eileen
`I really liked this post….beautifully expressed.
Thank you, Janet.
I dabbled in Buddhism, mainly during the pandemic, with mindfulness meditation being the gateway. I download some apps and read some good books, but finally realized the people I was listening to had no real hope. They were only learning to suffer and accept whatever happened. “But what about your soul?” said a voice in my head. Of course it was God. I promptly came back to the only real “hope dealer” in the universe.
I enjoyed your post, Mitch. Fact is, I enjoy them all. 🤗
Thank you, David!
Ha! I got a kick out of this. The “doe-eyed sopranos” are never there. It’s called “recruiting”. At least it wasn’t a “Unification Church” meeting.
That was indeed what it turned out to be.
” I didn’t need to know what it meant, only that it worked”
Oh how I wish I could say everything I know to be true about this- but perhaps this isn’t the right place! I’m so glad I read this lovely post, even if only for my delight at that part. Great title, too, as they always are!
Funny how many people’s lives are changed by a woman
Very true, Skittyman.
Hi Mitch
We don’t think that the teachings of Jesus – well, nobody knows if and what he taught – are beneficial. It’s all about guild and suffering. Unlike Christianity, Buddhism liberates.
Fortunately I didn’t have a Christian upbringing. With about 20 I visited Nepal, Bhutan and Tibet. After that, Buddhism had me. I hope I am not dogmatic, but I like the Buddhist principles.
Keep well
Klausbernd 🙂
Hi Bernd. Funny, I’d have said much the same, only in reverse. I was raised an atheist. Then, as a young man, I discovered the life and teachings of Jesus. I found them not only clear, but profoundly liberating. And what it’s “about” is knowing and loving my Creator (John 17:3). I find that Christianity and Buddhism both address guilt and suffering as obstacles, btw, although from different perspectives.
Hi Mitch. I wish I could recall details of my life as vividly as you do yours. You have a great memory!
I’ve found that memory is like the proverbial iceberg, Neil. Normally, we’re only aware of the familiar surface memories. But when we sit with pen in hand and start scribbling down what we can recall, especially details, it unlocks other related and even unrelated memories.
I wonder how many people are aware that many CHRISTIAN principles have been proven by science to benefit us. Gratitude impacts attitude, good deeds benefit the provider as well as the receiver, prayer positively impacts the healing process, faith in God (not a god) contributes to a sense of well-being, and more. Christianity is well worth checking out!
Sometime send me an email and I’ll tell you my first encounter with Buddhism.😉
“It doesn’t work in English” lol
;>)
I went to one of those meetings as a teenager. But I had a lot of hard living to do before I found faith.
I laughed at several points of this.
Especially at “it doesn’t work on English”.
This was a good read. Thanks for sharing.
I love how you write.
Why, thank you, Mimi.
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