My Real Memoir
“I apologize for not winning” (Best New Music Group in the U.S.), I told my pen pal. But on the other hand, my band The Daily Planet remained our tv producer, publisher Robert “Bob” Petersen’s personal favorite. So he hired us for his upcoming Motor Trend Auto Show and a star-studded party at his Beverly Hills home!
Plus, Tony Bennett had promised us the keys to the Music Kingdom as his new protégés. And we had a Robert Petersen-produced tour with Glen Campbell in the works. And a possible Capital Records deal!
So we were riding high on the most powerful drug known to teenage rockers: Dreams. But within a few months: Tony, who’d been on his third martini when he confessed his undying love for us, tragically misplaced our phone number and never called; Capital Records, who must have planned on getting our number from Tony, never called either; and Mega-Publisher Bob apparently rethought his plan to add Big Time Concert Promoter to his resume, because The Daily Planet Live On Tour With Their Good Buddy Glen Campbell never happened.
And so, for Marc and me (Jeph and Joey were still in high school), that meant Going to College. After much research, and because it was the only college we actually knew anything about, we chose Cal State Long Beach.
We were both majoring in Theatre and minoring in Music, and were both members of “the next Beatles,” so Marc and I decided to take all of our classes together. Which I thought was great until I discovered that every straight girl in our otherwise VeryGay theatre department was ignoring me because they figured Marc and I were, you know, together-together.
Also, we’d been warned in a Welcome Letter that, because our generation had all suddenly decided on the same day that we were “going to college” (and because not doing so meant “going to Vietnam”), our choice of classes would be dicey.
Dicey indeed. The priority order for who got the classes they wanted was as follows:
- Grad Students
- Seniors
- Juniors
- Sophomores
- Single-Celled Life Forms
- Freshmen
So we joined ten million other insignificants snaking their way up the Library stairwell to a floor encircled by overhead projector screens. On each screen was a list of classes, with those that were full—roughly 99.999%—lined out.
Result:
Instead of Biology 100, subtitle: Biology for People Who Are Neither Interested In Nor Any Good at Biology, we ended up in Small Animal Life of Coastal Southern California, subtitle: An Incredibly Narrow Branch of Biology Created for People Who Actually Plan to Do This for a Living.
And instead of Philosophy 100, subtitle: Four Months of Pondering What Happens When a Tree Falls in the Forest, we ended up in Symbolic Logic, subtitle: Not About How a Girl is Like a Swan (which we thought it was), But About Something You Totally Tanked at in High School, Advanced Calculus–Now Considered a Philosophy Class Because Literally…
No One Understands It.
My Real Memoir is a series. To read the next one, click here.
😂😂 tell God your plans, and he laughs. Life sent you guys down a different path. But the things you have experienced along the way though… Priceless. 🙏
I agree, Nigel.
Predictably, I love school of rock.
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Freshman class registration, always a “fun” time!
I love everything about this glimpse of ‘college Mitch’. Single-celled life forms, eh? 🤣
;>) Thanks, Vicki.
“You’ve really blossomed well…” Oh, Mitch, I’m laughing out loud.
;>)
Fun read! “Single-celled life forms”…. so apt.
Thanks, Ellen!
That was my favorite bit, too, although Tony Bennett came in a close second.
Nice post 🙂
Thank you, T.
You still ended up in the entertainment business and you still entertain quite well! 🙂
Thanks, Nancy!
Darn teenage dreams, off with the managements heads. I had a similar experience with United Artist records, big talk, no walk. The good news is, you guys had an experience that you can tell to your grand kids and for a while you will be cool. You stayed in the biz, so that’s a plus. Good post, keep the memories coming. Anymore from the Texas gal?
;>) Nope, ‘fraid I never even saw her again, Phil.
Too bad on that one. A good memory.
I do remember those early day of college registration!!!!
I took symbolic logic too. I don’t know if I’ve concentrated that hard since. God bless, Mitch!
Thank you. You too, Anonymous!
No, tell me they did NOT make Calculus a Philosophy class!… 🤨
Life is LIKE an algorithm, you never know what you’re going to get…
Forgive my ignorance, but weren’t algorithms intended to help us know just that? Um… kind of like computers were going to lead to a reduction in paperwork (remember that one)? 🤭
Algorithms exist in order to assist Skynet in analyzing and eliminating human beings.
Symbolic logic:
If ^=@+$ and >=$+%*pi, then how many ice cream cones does it take to cover a peaked roof chalet in the French Alps at noon on the 1st Saturday in March?
Exactly, Rebecca.
Or, in philosphical terms, Ana, “If a cluster of ice cream cones falls off a peaked roof chalet in the French Alps, and no one is there to eat them, do they have a taste?” Answer: Assuming they are “cake” cones, no, cake cones have no flavor.
Thanks for sharing this idea and nice post. Anita
My pleasure, Anita.
I seem to do things backwards! I wrote my first book when I was 64–there’s a song there somewhere and next, I’m starting a university degree course in February 2024. If all goes smoothly with the course application I shall have to call it a day on all social media in the New Year, as well as on my belated, but thoroughly enjoyable writing experience. Until then—-
You go, Daniel! And, now, for the biggest challenge of all, hike up your courage and ask a girl out on a date!
Jack Black would indeed be appropriate for this version of your life story! You retell it with glibness here but at the time is must have been devastating.
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