Source: Wedding Sparrow
My Real Memoir
More than anything else, I wanted to be wanted. My college girlfriend no longer needed me, maybe never did. My current quasi-girlfriend Janet liked me, but liked other flavors too. Just to be clear, I was equally promiscuous, using women who used me in return.
Still, I longed for someone to give to, not just use. And then I met Kat. I found both dark and voluptuous Janet and luminous and graceful Kat enticing. But it was Kat who imprinted herself on my heart when she pumped her fist at being asked out, and teased me about clawing her bedposts after I said goodnight. She’d chosen me. She wanted to give herself to me, and I wanted to give myself to her! It was the headiest love potion I’d ever tasted. Here, finally, it seemed, was my “Why?” my missing sense of purpose.
Then Janet came back from Hawaii, bringing puka shells and kisses, and tales of “too-many mai-tais.” She’d been with a “yummy brown boy” or two, she admitted—how could she help herself?—and assumed I’d been with other women, as well. “Just one,” I said, “but I think maybe she’s the one.” “Oh…well…good,” she replied. Then she stroked my cheek and gave me a hug, and within a week had a new go-to guy.
A month later, I moved out of Mom’s house to a Newport Beach apartment just blocks away from my school of the arts (I was absurdly excited about having my own garage door opener!). My new roommate was a devout bachelor with a stack of Polaroids signed by women who hoped he’d call again (he never did). He shook my hand, gave me the key, and left. Three days later, he called. “I’m living with my new girlfriend, and the place is all yours. Sorry. You can have my California king bed.”
I moved into the master bedroom, and found a neurotic typist to share the rent. The bills were paid, my little school was turning a slight profit, and I was in love. Life was perfect. The minute Olvia Newton John’s “I Honestly Love You” hit the airwaves, Kat claimed it as “our song.” She shoehorned me into her family, insisting I pile onto a bed with them, along with their Irish Setter who knew how to say “I love you” in dog, to watch Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The rest of that summer was a glowing clifftop picnic. We fed each other strings of cheese and wine-flavored kisses.
In the fall, after Kat’s community college classes started, we squeezed in early morning drives and late-night rendezvouses, often falling asleep together. One night I suddenly sat up, jarring myself awake. And in a voice not my own, I said,
“Come unto me.”
And then I just sat there, thinking, What the…? I had a vague idea that it sounded “like something from the Bible,” but I’d never actually read the Bible. I turned and saw Kat staring at me, blinking. She had read the Bible. In fact, a few years earlier, she’d been caught up in the growing “Jesus Movement.” So she quietly and authoritatively poked me in the chest, and said, “Whoa, babe. God is after you!” I tucked that into the back of my mind, and then, moving onto less mysterious things…
Asked her to marry me.
My Real Memoir is a series. To read the next one, click here.
Sounds pretty normal to me Mitch. C.S. Lewis mentions the desire to fit in. He referred to the group as “the inner ring” All men desire to be there. The issues that can occur is the desire to be the center of that inner ring. Nice story, well told and from the heart.
Thanks, Norm, and yes, Lewis is quite right, as always.
Your memoirs are transparent, funny, and endearing. Just to let you, I have made respect for Kat. She knew God was after you and wasn’t afraid to tell you. Love this post and thanks for sharing!
My pleasure, San!
So wait a minute—you heard an audible voice saying, “Come unto Me.”, and Kat heard it too? Is that right?! Did I read that correctly? Wow, if so!! God really was after you. That gives me hope for others–that God will pursue them hard also. Thanks MItch!
Hi Katie. I should probably clarify this in my wording, but no, I spoke the words “in a voice not my own,” i.e. not in my normal voice. It wasn’t creepy, just distinctive, and both Kat and I sensed that the message wasn’t from me.
Still wow! And thanks for clarifying. 🙂
:>)
You may have been promiscuous but at least you weren’t afraid to make a commitment. 🙂
Thanks, Nancy. It seems I had a few redeeming qualities. ;>)
Good write, Mitch. Boy, when things change, they do it with a “bam.” Isn’t that the way it often is with the youngsters? Serious moments can happen with no warning and be life changing.
Very true, Phil.
One of the (many) things I love about your writing is the continuous surprises around each corner (I mean, “sentence.”) I’m not normally outwardly expressive when I read (internally, yes); however, with your stories, I am, Mitch! *just remembered to lower eyebrows from a raised position* *grin* Cher xoxoxo
Aww, you just put a huge smile on my face, Cher.
And all I did was tell the truth, Mitch!
<3
Yup! He will show up when you think you are finding what you are looking for. It has always been him to fill your need.
Awesome!
Exactly, and thanks, Pete.
I’m glad you found your person. I think wanting to matter is a deeply ingrained (and normal) part of our human condition.
It certainly is, LaDonna.
The arts school, the lifestyle, the girls–the world was your oyster all right. And yet you still needed more–the Person behind the voice. Can’t wait to read about what He does next in your life to bring you to Him!
<3
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