Five years ago today, we were on the verge of a pandemic. We didn’t know yet how serious it would become, but we knew a lockdown was coming. Result? There was a run on supermarket supplies — especially toilet paper! It all felt so primitive. And so I wrote:
Great sick-storm building. Tribe Healer say much cave and hut dweller maybe-sick. Big Spirit angry? (Probably Zug and his stupid boasting.) So we stay away from other maybe-sick tribe people. We stay in cave where nice and cozy. We make shadow pictures on wall, laugh much, pop roasted grubs on fire–my favorite!
But Neema complain she have no meadow grass for to wipe bottom-place-that-follow-her-wherever-she-go. She very clean. Much trouble. But look and smell better than me.
So I put on mammoth fur and go to Great Meadow where is much food and herb. It crazy there! I never see so many tribe people, not just man-warrior, but many feisty woman-warrior, too! All pushing woven basket, gathering small frozen animal to eat later. Meadow grass all gone!
I return to cave with no meadow grass. Neema not happy. So this morning when Big Light appear, I put on mammoth fur and climb to top of Tall Rock. From there I can see Great Meadow. I see more meadow grass–but not much! So I drink hot jitter-weed juice, grab spear and go!
I come to Big Meadow. So much crazy tribe people! All grabbing meadow grass for to wipe bottom-place-that-follow-them-wherever-they-go. Still, I find three bundle and put in my pushing-basket. Then I shake spear, and say, “These mine!” Others say, “Good. Those yours!” We smile. Tribe people not so bad.
I bring home meadow grass and drop on cave floor. Neema make cute face. I like that face.
Maybe tonight I get lucky.
We still honor new sacred tradition, keep meadow grass in great abundance.
;>) Me and Neema too.
Love it.
😅Hot jitter weed juice! 😂
Gee… I bet big meadow was called “ Cave-Mart”. 😺✌️
;>) Yes. Have to show membership shell to get in.
Hee hee! Find trustworthy meadow where lots of big huts live. Now look for meadow grass with writing “Product of Canada!” I s good.
;>)
😂 It’s always going to be meadow grass now. Trying to think of equivalent for Lysol spray; it was like a religious experience when I found a lone can at the back of the shelf!
This syndrome was so pervasive that I remember seeing a pair of earrings advertised: tiny toilet paper rolls! 🤣
;>)
Hanging from little toilet paper holders. Actually revolved. TOO cute.
;>) Oh, yeah. We couldn’t find any sprays, Lynn, so we used baby wipes.
This hilarious! Me laugh all way through. Findum meadow grass, wipe nose with. Too funny. Good one, Kemosabe! Now we smokeum peace pipe, drink jitter juice, have pow wow. ✌🏼
My stack of 12-packs is about six feet high. I’m ready for the next run. Or runs…
Yep. We are too, Nancy.
One of the greatest things about humor is that it shows us how ridiculous our behavior can get. I really love your post, Mitch. It made me smile, and it’s also important not to forget what happened during the pandemic.
And I just have to mention Morgan Freeman narrating the pandemic (2020)
Thanks for sharing, Mitch.
My pleasure, Rosana.
During Covid, it good idea to stock up on meadow grass.
Love it.
Cave people!! Oops….my bad! 🙄 I just read this to my husband; he was laughing crying. Good one! He’s a tough audience! 👏🏼
Delighted to hear that, Nancy!
Funny cave talk Mitch!
Cool story…. I liked it.
Enjoy the weekend.
Thanks, Cora, you too.
can you redo the counting from 0 to 100 it’s suppose to be on the same page & pen altogether not separate
Fun read-and I learned cavemen had hygienic toiletry habits. Thanks, Mitch. 🙂
;>)
This just made my day 🤣 meadow grass!!!
;>)
😁
Thank you for the laugh today.
My pleasure.
LOL! Thank you for the laughs. 😀
My pleasure, Khaya.
I remember it well. Thanks for this excellent post!
Only reason I didn’t run out of TP during the lockdowns is that I bought extra because I had three out of town guests staying with me in March.
“So I drink hot jitter-weed juice, grab spear and go!” This did me in. 🙂
;>) Delighted hear that, Jim.
I remember!
!!!
😀
was that five years ago? seems like yesterday. loved your tribe story. <3
<3
Thank you, Pink.
very good
Thank you.
Like it was just yesterday haha. Great read!
Thanks, Jodi!
Very funny, Mitch. However, I was scarred by this meadow grass event. I went to a Walmart and found there was no food, no toilet paper, no cleaning supplies! The zombie apocalypse had occurred! I currently have 121 rolls of toilet paper in my apartment!! 🙂
We also have quite a supply of TP. 🙂
Atta-girl! 🙂
;>)
Too funny! And pretty accurate! 🙂
😂🙂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😁🙂😂Same problem here in SPAIN!!!
:>O
Hilarious! Thanks for reposting!
My pleasure, Ann.
Ah…. meadow grass to clean your… …….. ……past memories.
Trust the variety of meadow grass available at Cave-Mart can also silence the Big-Thunder-that-come-from-bottom-place-that-follow-them-wherever-they-go
;>)
Pingback: Five Years Ago: A Symbol of Our Resistance - Mitch Teemley