“Friends say to me a lot, ‘Monogamy is not natural.’ And I always, say, ‘Well, neither are toilets, but when you don’t use them, things get very messy.’” ~Andrew Gurland
My wife and I are known for having a strong marriage. And it’s true, we do. But what’s not true is that things “just worked out” (our wedding counselor advised us not to marry because of our differences), or that we simply “got lucky” and found our soulmate and so don’t have to work at it. Hah!
There are three persons in this relationship. And our marriage works because we are both doggedly devoted to that third person: Us.
So, yes, it’s true, monogamy is not natural.
It’s supernatural.
(Mark 10:8-9)
Mitch,
Amen. May you keep building a great life together.
In Christ, Gary
Gary Avants Forbear Productions * *garyavants66@gmail.com garyavants66@gmail.com
Thanks, Gary, and likewise.
Wonderful way to look at the concept!
Never thought about the idea of the third person in the marriage! Makes a lot of sense. Good marriages that last do take work and effort indeed.
Absolutely! Our marriage counselor said “you are either building the alter of love together or you are destroying it together” . Building is a choice and it’s worth it! 👏
Amen to that, Morag.
So true Mitch. Marriage is a lot of work. And it takes 2 extras. The “us” and the Lord!
I agree. My husband and I will be married for 50 years in August. We had things we needed to work on along the way.
Congrats on that upcoming milestone, Molly–and the 49 before it!
Congratulations on having a wonderful marriage!
Thank you!
I had to laugh at the picture of the Monogamy board! We always referred to it as “Monotony” (the game not marriage)!!
;>)
It appears you and I had the same marriage counsellor, but after 40 years what I tell people is that I didn’t marry my “soul” mate – I married my “sole” mate. As you allude, my wife often quotes Eccl 4:12 “a chord of three braids is not easily broken.”
A perfect quote to illustrate the point.
<3
I like that!
Well said!
Thank you, Paul.
Warmest wishes for your so beautiful, lasting, and “Supernatural” love!
Really inspirational.
Wishing you a wonderful and prosperous new year, filled with happiness, health, and abundance.
All the best, ❦
Thank you, and wishing you the same, Anonymous (I see WordPress has chosen to honor your Witness Protection Program status).
Thank you.
I should work with new WP more!
Warmest wishes for your so beautiful, lasting, and “Supernatural” love!
Really inspirational.
Wishing you a wonderful and prosperous new year, filled with happiness, health, and abundance.
All the best, ❦
(Sorry, I don’t know why my comment submitted as anonymous! So I write it again.)
Aha! Good to know who the comment above was from. And thanks again, Gol.
I have been away from the details of WordPress for a long time and I have forgotten many things and many things have changed, too. I think I have to learn again. Thank you, too.
Of course, Monogamy is natural! Up to 90% of bird species are monogamous. Eurasian Beavers, Wolves, Gibbons, Swans (part of the 90%), Bald Eagles, Sandhill Cranes, Coyotes, Sea Turtles… For the species to survive (Human) it is best that both parents be present. The young of this species are so immature that they cannot survive on their own even after 4 years. Having a lot to learn about being human means that they stay with the family for nearly 2 decades. Having multiple parent roles, 3 moms, 1 dad, and a strange uncle, does not significantly improve the chances for the young to survive, though the presence of grandparents may have better influence on the children and the parents of those children. It has been shown that the human species can reproduce as young as 12 years old, but in comparison, some mice can reproduce at age 30 days. Since humans are the longest-living land mammals, and they don’t begin to show maturity until they’re 40 years old, (or in Mitch’s case 60…) they could be grandparents before they are actually mature. So Monogamy, for humans, is the best thing for the survival of the species. Besides, can you imagine having 5 or so mothers-in-law? Or sharing your grandkids with 10 other sets of grandparents? Imagine family reunions!!!! You’d need a score card!
;>) I agree, Rebecca, but a large percentage of the (human) population does not.
I think that the idea that monogamy is not natural doesn’t come from a biological viewpoint as Long-Lived creatures tend to be monogamous especially when their young take so long to become independent. I think it is a story told by people to justify their behavior.
Finding our soulmates is not just an accidental encounter. 🙂
mark 10:07 missing
Great post, Mitch. Loved the illustrations (photo and quote) and couldn’t agree more. I am very thankful to have a strong marriage and God’s blessing on it.
I’m pleased to hear your marriage is strong.
Marriage is hard work, but it’s totally worth it!
You can say that over and over again!!!!
Amen, dear brother! Gary & me too… It is truly Supernatural!
<3
Love it
If monogamy is hard, just marry someone with split personalities. You never know who you’re going to encounter, so it’s kind of like coming home to new person everyday! Or the more romantic version of that, “you’re so moody, I get to fall in love with someone new everyday!” I’m joking but there is truth there. One of the first things we do in relationships is try to change people into someone more comfortable for us to be around. Then a primary reason we give for divorce is, “they’ve changed.”
Good post, Mitch. Yep, its not natural, it’s supernatural.
Our marriage prep counsellor said to us
“once married, you will be one before the eyes of God”.
Then, he chuckled and said “ remember that, it’ll come in handy when you have kids. “
;>)
Love this.
Thank you, Manu.
Very true and beautifully expressed, Mitch.
Thank you, Sandy.
PREACH! My husband and I are going on 32 years…his groomsmen were taking bets on how long we would last (I discovered this a few years after we were married). It’s work, to create a relationship, a family, and determination to not give up. Thankfully, we both love Jesus and the commitment we made to each other (as it is symbolic of the covenant between God and man) is sacred.
I love the toilet analogy…we’ve been known to enjoy a bit of “potty humor” from time to time. LOL
Marriage on, Laura!
I think marriage is one of the greatest gifts on earth and I enjoy unwrapping ours each day!
Awesome concluding observation!
Thanks, Michael!
I find your brief but powerful post a source of encouragement! Can I forward to all my loved ones who are married or looking for partners to marry?
Congratulations ! More grease to your joint elbow ( one of my favorite expressions )!
Of course, Amelia, and thank you.
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I love this! And the quote at the beginning is fantastic! What a good way to look at it. 😊 Building a strong marriage is always worth it!
It is indeed, Isabelle!