No, it wasn’t to look like this guy. ⇒
It was because I needed a beard to look like a proper manly writer (or at least a very avant garde female writer).
⇐ Growing it was the worst part. It itched like the Dickens. I mean, seriously, have you seen Charles Dickens’ beard?
Also, it had the consistency of chicken wire. Which made my wife cry fowl, because, while she liked the look of it, she hated the way it felt when we (adult content alert) kissed. So…
I googled “beard softener.” And to my surprise there were all kinds of beard conditioners on the market, including bear grease. Really. But I passed on that one because my wife has never shown the least proclivity toward kissing bears. And I really do want her to (adult content alert) kiss me.
I finally bought a “Beard Balm” made in China. It was hard and round, with a label that said it would “burst with happy” my face. So I didn’t apply it, because I was afraid I’d actually bought a beard bomb. That, and after a month of use, according to Google Translate, it would rather eerily “raise my ancestors from the dead.”
⇐ Then I bought a French-made “Grooming System.” It contained half-a-dozen complicated interlocking devices that, I suspect, required steam power. I mean, Jules Verne clearly would have known just what to do with it. Have you seen him, by the way? Now that’s a manly writer beard!
Meanwhile, my beard got lot less wiry while my writing got more writerly, and my wife and I started (adult content alert) kissing a lot!
It looks good on you.
Why, thank you, BoB.
This post is a perfect blend of creativity and substance — great job!
Thanks, Giljonnys.
Well-trimmed beards (not too long) can definitely enhance a man’s looks-and confidence. So, good luck with your future literary works.
Thanks, Nancy.
Haha…nice read….you r looking good though
Thank you.
❤️☕️☕️
Thank you for the heart and two cups of coffee, Anonymous!
It should be the law that men have beards
I’ve decided to not grow a beard until all the hair on my head is grey. Oddly enough, my facial hair is mostly grey while on my head it’s still mostly brown. I’ve told my wife, that there will be no beard until both are equal amounts of grey. When that happens, I’m going to grow a beard, let my hair grow long and then tie it in a ponytail and wear tie-dyed t-shirts to church.
Ah, the aging hippie look.
I hope you were discreet enough not to do that kissing business in front of your kids and grossing them out!
Mostly. ;>)
The current non-committal beard trend is interesting. The tendency of not shaving, allowing the five o’clock shadow to drift into six and seven o’clock. What’s up with that?
I don’t know, Pam. My wife would never go for permanent stubble.
I’m thinking there is a fine line between stylish stubble and scruffy.
There is indeed, Pam.
Most men should have beards!
Christmas blessings for you and your family!🙏❤️
Thank you, you too, Gail!
You are a fortunate man. If my husband grew a beard or mustache, I would refuse to kiss him. He knows this and so he keeps his face hair closely shorn.
Wise man. My wife definitely has the last word on the subject.
Good idea you really look like a writer. My dad never got around to growing a beard because every time I got into his lap and touched his face if he had not just shaved I said, “Daddy you got nails coming out!” Meaning I didn’t care for the stubble.
;>)
I’ve found that beards are more trouble than they’re worth, And, incidentally, I grew mine to look more like a writer. You know, cos Hemingway casts such a long shadow over us American males who choose to be scribblers.
He does indeed, Alex.
Merry Christmas Mitch! Hugs, C
Thank you, you too, Cheryl!
I wear a beard but no mustache. It’s a (adult content!) kiss-friendly configuration.
I’ve considered that, Danny, but my wife doesn’t like the look.
Nice headshot Mitch. You are one of few who can sport a beard and still look charming and professional. Being married for 60 years I’ve grown accustomed to my bearded hubby. I don’t recognize him without one. Oh yes, we still kiss❤️
<3
Ugh every year my husband grows a winter beard. It looks ok but i totally sympathize with your wife. Itchy and scratchy!
Ahahahaha!!! Oh, you bring back a memory! Seeing my (future) husband’s first beard.
We were friends in high school back then, and it was the summer holidays. I’d borrowed my parents’ car to run into town for errands. While parked on the side of a street, in between errands, someone on the sidewalk suddenly banged on the roof of the car, and I saw this FACE filling the passenger side window. A face with a bushy black beard that stuck out in all directions, looking like a wild animal, a great toothy grin in the middle, and eyes barely visible between beard and brows.
It took me a moment to recognize him, and he sure got a laugh out of my reaction.
We later married while he was in basic training, in X platoon due to an injury, and he served in the navy. The navy allows beards, but you need to ask permission to grow one, and permission to shave. While growing a beard in, you weren’t allowed to be seen in public in uniform until it looked proper. My husband is one of those guys that can grow a full beard in a week, so he never had to wait long. His beard came and went many times, simply because he could.
It looks much better now than that first scraggly racoon that covered his face, back in the day! Today, it’s almost completely white, soft and curly, and I absolutely love it.
What a supportive spouse you are, R-F! (Afraid I don’t know your name.)
I tried growing a mustache as soon as I went to college. A lovely lass who shared both a 7:30am class and an afternoon was on my radar.
After Thanxgiving break, I sat down in my usual seat beside her and she looked at me and said, “Oh, cool, C.A., you decided to grow a mustache over the break”… the stache I had been grooming for three MONTHS! I replied, “Yeah, but I think I’ll shave it anyway!” Shaved it before lunch‼️😂😂
;>)
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Clever! And thank you, Cindy!
Nice, Mitch.
Merry Christmas. 🎄
And a Merry Christmas to you, T!
I think your beard looks quite debonair! Merry Christmas!
Why, thank you, ma’am. And a Merry Christmas to you, M2M!
Nice beard, Mitch. I also have one. Momo tells me I look a bit scruffy. I’m in my Hemingway phase at this time, so the beard is part of the aura. I use Everyman Jack Beard Balm for that well groomed look. Women don’t understand, a writer must have facial hair.
Exactly, Phil. ;>)
I’m going for the Gabby Hays look.
;>)
I’ve had the “curse” of looking young… so before my marriage at 20 I grew a mustache to look old enough. Then at 30, tired of being asked “what’s your major?” I grew a beard. Transitioned to a goatee at 35. At 42 I shaved it all and they thought I was 30. Except for vacation, and a trip to South Asia I am clean shaven and about to turn 60 so I keep the younger look now
Best curse ever!
Aww, the beard got more beardily and your wife and you got more kissily. This is perfectly penned, Mitch! Hmmm. I wonder if a pic of you in black and white –face turned ever so slight upward, oh, with a suit…seriously, you’re already famous, my friend!
My youngest son has grown a beard since leaving the Air Force and regularly uses beard balm! I’m thinking about Jeremiah Johnson all of a sudden!
I don’t think my wife would ever kiss me again if I sported the Jeremiah Johnson look, Karla–even if I did look like Robert Redford under that big bush of a beard. ;>)
🧔🏽♂️ Gotta have one, I’ve had one for about 25 years, though it’s a goat tee only but I really didn’t want to look like the of my brothers 😂, funny how it mattered that way. But it’s me now, so it’s all good.
;>)
http://dwayneadventurescom.wordpress.com
Worth those kisses I guess 😅.
I should tell my husband to check out these beard balms and conditioners 😀.
;>)
Nice
Thank you, Caleb.
Such a cute post! It made me giggle & I love the beard 😀.
Aw, thanks, Tammy!
For sure, Happy New Year!
Beautifully writ. And lovely smile.
Why, thank you, Catherin.
you look…serene, content, kind, compassionate, wise…it’s true I guess what they say about a picture telling a thousand words
Aw, thank you, Catherin.