Classic kidtreats
My Real Memoir: Treats I Have Known and Loved
It was fall. I’d just started 4th grade, and already I couldn’t wait for the holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. Because holidays meant treats! Of course, my idea of treats has changed a smidge. Nowadays, I dream of handmade al dente pasta with a rich, nuanced sauce simmered for hours. Back then it was a freshly opened can of Chef Boyardee—fat, mushy noodles swimming in sugary tomato goo. Oh, I still have a sweet tooth, but these days I hanker for toasty crème brûlées and handmade chocolates. Back then…
I craved “kidtreats.” Because, duh, I was a kid. So, what’s a kidtreat? Anything that’s fun, devoid of actual nutritional value, and, of course, very, very sweet. Because, if it ain’t got that sweet, it ain’t a real treat.
At first, it was candy wafers, an early-20th-century invention (uncooked, factory-stamped tablets that will outlive the pyramids). I liked Necco, Smarties, and SweeTarts. But I fell in love with Pez! Same difference, really, except they came in magical dispensers! We got new ones in our stockings every Christmas (Mighty Mouse, Bugs Bunny, Popeye), and shared them during recess when school resumed. But then one day, on a dare, I bit into a piece of classroom chalk and, apart from a subtle lack of flavor, couldn’t tell the difference.
Then there were the instant, artificially sweetened drinkables. Talk about fun! I’d go to the lunch counter at J. J. Newberry’s, ask for a glass of water, pop two Fizzies tablets into it, et voilà, soda pop! Or, at home, I’d pour myself a glass of milk, and drink it through a Flav-R Straw—instant chocolate or strawberry milk! Except that, while they met the fun test, they both tasted awful. I needed real flavor, and real sugar. So it was back to Dr. Pepper and Ovaltine.
I also thought kids’ cereals were fun—because animated bunnies (“Trix are for kids!”) and cuckoo birds (“Crazy for Cocoa-Puffs!”) told me they were. Frozen pot pies and TV dinners (the kind ancient cave dwellers ate before microwaves) were fun in a different way: On the rare occasions Mom was away, Dad “fixed” them for us. We’d sit at TV trays (naughtily eating dinner without a table!) while watching Have Gun Will Travel or an old war movie. Just me and Dad. (Later, as a teenager, I would find a dirty, rolled-up band-aid in my instant mashed potatoes—a cast-off, no doubt, from some underpaid food-packer’s owie. It was the last TV dinner I ever ate.)
On the other hand, when Mommandad wanted what they considered a treat, they’d take us to a local bar and grill. It was there that I learned what adults loved–cocktails and a thick, perfectly charred chateaubriand–and I learned to love it too. Except, in my case, the “cocktail” was a tall, syrupy “Roy Rogers.” Because, in the end, it ain’t a treat…
If it ain’t got that sweet.
To read My Real Memoir from the start, click here. To read the next episode, click here.
We didn’t get many treats when I was young as my single mom with 5 kids had to be frugal. When I slept at my grandparents, they would give me a dime and I would go down to the corner and spend it. I would get blackballs (3 for a penny) and either pixie sticks or lik-a-maid. Captain Crunch was my cereal of choice.
My wife reminded me about Pixy Sticks right after I posted this, Carla.
I got $2 a fortnight for my pocket money, and I saved up $20 and felt SO rich! We lived across the road from the local butcher shop. I would go and buy 4 slices of luncheon sausage for the picnic I was planning with my dolls on the front lawn. My dad’s (clean, ironed) handkerchief was the picnic blanket. I was about 7 years old, I guess. 60 years ago lol. We grew up on breakfasts of Weetbix and Marmite on toast. A Kiwi staple in every kitchen cupboard in the 60s and beyond.
I’d never heard of Weetabix or Marmite until I stayed with my Auntie Kath in England in the late 70s, Fleur. She had both, and I ate them for breakfast every morning!
Fizzies!!
Your affinity for Pez was shared by the cast of Seinfeld and oh, those dispensers were great. And the Swanson’s beef pot pies were also wonderful…..
👍 I certainly thought so back then, Dirt.
You’ve taken me down sweet memory lane.
It’s a pretty sweet street, Sashi.
Lovely reminisce 🙂
Thanks, Choices!
We had a JJ Newberry in my Long Island town but the drawer to their lunch counter? Pop a balloon and pay from 1 cent to 99 cent for a mouth watering Banana Split…I spent many an after school moment at the luncheonette but alas never got less than 97 cents. Thanks for memory.
My pleasure, Kathy!
Once again you triggered lots of fun memories, Mitch. Of the treats you mentioned, Neccos were one of my favorites too. I loved getting a number of different flavors out of my nickel investment. Perhaps fifteen years ago, in St. Augustine, FL, a nostalgic-looking candy store sold Neccos–hadn’t seen them in years, and had to have a package. Found out they no longer make different flavors–just the different colors. Every wafer tasted the same! But I guess they still qualified as a treat, because they were definitely sweet. Next time I’ll pass though.
Clearly, kid-buds aren’t the same as adult tastebuds, Nancy. ;>)
No, REALLY! Back in the day, charcoal gray Neccos tasted like licorice, the brown ones like chocolate, the orange like orange, etc. Could my memory be that far off?! (I’m going to have to ask AI!)
La saggezza inizia dalle dolcezze.
Swanson dinners. Many Swanson dinners. We had a bunch of ’em with both of my parents working, but at the end of the day they tasted like the best thing ever. Almost positive I wouldn’t feel that way now…especially getting this news about the band-aid incident.😁
;>)
I’m glad you still have a sweet tooth. As for me, ALL of my teeth are sweet. My favorite: Heath Toffee Bars, covered in chocolate. I have to ask my husband to hide them from me, so I don’t eat them all in one day. YUM.
Were they similar to Black Cows? This candy was a slab of rock-hard caramel on a stick covered in dark chocolate. It lasted all day and afterwards everything stuck to you. 🤣😋🐮
;>) I like Heath bars too, Linda!
Ya know, Mitch, you and I could have lived to 109 years old as brilliant scientists if we had eaten healthier. Check this out: https://www.yahoo.com/news/science/articles/scientists-served-ultra-processed-unprocessed-162902454.html.
Guess we all gotta die sometime anyway, so we might as well enjoy the ride!🤠
No sense in livin’ that long if you have to eat brocoli every day!😂
❤️&🙏, c.a.
Ah, well! (I like broccoli, btw, though maybe not every day.)
You’ve got me drooling, Mitch. I loved Cocoa Puffs and Trix. Neccos were good only because of the quantity, and Sky bars were a great movie treat. The turkey TV dinners were delicious and so were the fat-laden pot pies. I never had canned pasta as my Italian mama would’ve considered it blasphemy. Jiffy Pop popcorn was the best snack invention ever back in the day. 😋🍿🍝🍭🍫🎑
Your Mama was right, Nancy❣
Hello Mitch, bearing in mind I’m in the UK…I do like PEZ and have two Star Wars themed dispensers but when I can find it I like Hershey’s Chocolate bars. The imported bars are way tastier than the vegetable oil/low fat and low sugar chocolate we get here. But talking of TV dinners I used to be a big fan of what the Brit’s call “Admiral’s Pie” which consists of a base of Cod in a Parsley sauce topped with a layer of creamed/mash potato and sprinkled with cheese on top to melt. When the microwave version of the pie came out they just didn’t have the crispy topping. Thanks for making me hungry.
You’re welcome, Simon. ;>) And good to meet you! I always thought Cadbury was better (richer and less waxy) than Hershey’s, but I’ve heard it’s changed in recent years.
Yes the chocolate bars in the UK have in recent years had their recipes changed for “healthier” ingredients but they have also shrunk in size! The bars are now 25-33% smaller (and it isn’t just my mind playing tricks because “when I was kid, bars were bigger but now I’m adult they seem smaller”). I suppose the price of cocoa hasn’t helped either.
My favorite candy is Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
Oh, yeah. That’s one I never outgrew, Andrew.
🙂
What a hilarious and nostalgic walk down memory lane, Mitch! 😂 Biting into classroom chalk on a dare and realizing it barely tasted different from candy wafers is absolute comedy gold! That band-aid in the instant mashed potatoes story would have cured anyone of TV dinners forever. I loved reading Nancy Homlitas’s note about her Italian mama considering canned pasta pure blasphemy (she was so right!), For Tyeth’s fun mention of his Star Wars Pez collection, and agreeing with Andrew McDowell that you can never go wrong with a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. Thanks for the sweet nostalgia!
My pleasure, Prateek!
La saggezza inizia dalle dolcezze. re
🧡
I enjoyed most of these treats as a kid. I still like Pez although I haven’t had them in years. Sometimes my mom still gives us cute Pez dispensers in our stockings even though we are both adults. Too funny. Thanks for sharing!
My pleasure, Crafts. (Sorry, I’m not sure what to call you.)
Strawberry nesquick and one of those banquet pies, Yes, Please! 🙂
Interesting combo, Carolyn. ;>)
LOL! I didn’t have them together. 🤪
;>)
No wonder our generation’s teeth are falling out 😂🤪 my favourite treats were strawberry bonbons or chews that you could suck and suck and pull out into the longest piece of candy ever. Good memories Mitch. Now I have to suck on a carrot 🥕
;>) That should last you a while, Nicola–carrots tend not to melt in the mouth.
Bazooka Bubble Gum! The comics were better than the gum.
True!
Oof! A band-aid in a TV dinner? That would be enough to put me off them forever! Actually, I never understood the allure of a TV dinner….nothing was ever quite right. Still-frozen entree (bad meatloaf memories) or the “chocolate cake” that was more like a charcoal briquet. Thanks for the giggles, Mitch! 😜
My pleasure, Vicki. 😜 indeed!
Xo! ❤️
Hmm, former treats are evocative, aren’t they? You got me thinking about Hallowe’en candy that we got and only at that time, so that’s what they bring to mind (O’Henry, Baby Ruth, Sugar Babies). As for drinks, there was Quik, and for cereal, Lucky Charms. We had the TV dinners, too, when my folks were going to be out or hosting something. Thanks, Mitch, for having us along this walk! Oh, there’s a story that my friend tells about the child who at church dropped Fizzies in the holy water. Seems appropriate a spiritual lesson, to me.
;>)
I think I got diabetes just from reading this.
;>)
I guess all kids have been through those sort of treats before. Candy is a nice sweet and I too used to eat chocolate and biscuits when I was a little boy, haha. Cool Mitch Man
Thanks, Mthobisi!
Interesting that i didn’t recogise any of those brands, I guess in those days there was le exportation and in the UK we had our own versions. That, is certainnly something lost in the past.
I suspect you’re right, Geoff.
Java Bean: “Ayyy, did someone say we would be getting treats?!”