My mother died on Thanksgiving Day and I have never felt more joy in my life. Am I mad or merely cold-hearted?
Neither.
I was raised believing in Me and Mom and Dad. And that was pretty much it. God wasn’t in the picture. Or rather, he was but I didn’t know it.
My parents were children of the Great Depression, and as a result grew up devoted to Security. Money was good because it bought Things. Things were good because they bought Security. And Security was good because it bought Happiness.
And for a long time that seemed to do it for them. I grew up watching Dad make money, which he was brilliant at, and Mom make crafts, which she was brilliant at. She loved beautifying her surroundings.
But after my father died at age 45 and my mother disintegrated into grief, I lost whatever was left of my belief in the Things>Security>Happiness Principal. My atheism, which had been wobbling anyway, collapsed and I began to turn toward God. In fact, I turned into a full-blown Jesus Person.
That didn’t sit well with Mom: “That’s fine, honey, but just don’t get too into it.”
“Mom, Jesus said he was ‘the way, the truth, and the life.’ You can’t be ‘too into’ the way, the truth, and the life!”
Mom eventually married Bud who was nearly as ambitious as my dad, and he helped restore her faith in the Things>Security>Happiness Principal.
But then, in the fall of 1999, she had a series of strokes. These left her mentally cloudy, shaky on her feet, and unable to pursue her projects. So she took to sitting and watching the news.
She began to look at the world differently. Our phone conversations, which had always been filled with reports of her little projects, now turned to diatribes against the cruelty and injustice of the world: “There’s so much suffering, so much wrong!”
For years I’d ended our conversations with, “I’m praying for you, Mom,” and she’d always replied, “I’m praying for you too.” Then I’d ask, “Really?” And she would answer, “Oh, you know, I mean I’m holding up a good thought for you.”
But one day, she said, “I’m praying for you” in a deliberate, I-mean-this sort of way. “Really?” I asked. And this time she replied, “Yes. Really. Oh, honey,” she continued, “the world is so broken–I never realized just how broken–and there’s nothing I can do about it. So I pray. All the time.”
Two days later, Bud called from a hospital in Hemet, California. He sounded shell-shocked. “Your mother’s heart…she’s not going to be leaving this place,” he whispered, refusing to confirm the truth with a full voice.
The moment I saw her, I knew he was right. Pale and struggling for every breath, her heart pulsing more like a memory than a reality, she smiled and whispered, “Still praying.”
“To God?” I asked, as if repeating an old punchline.
”Yes.”
She slept fitfully throughout the night. Bud and I did the same in two tired vinyl hospital chairs.
Mom faded in and out of consciousness all the next day, unable to offer more than yeses or noes. I talked about our life together, about her love for Dad and for Bud, about tennis and origami, about all the Christmases we’d spent together.
The doctor told us that in order to make her more comfortable they would need to up her medication; she would no longer be able to communicate. It was code for, “Say your good-byes.”
Bud sat by her for a long time, unable to speak. Then I took her hand, smiled, and said, “You can’t have too much of the way, the truth, and the life, can you?” She did a little choking laugh, squeezed my hand, and shook her head no.
She was fighting for every breath, yet her eyes were glowing. I suddenly realized that in the race toward God, she’d run far ahead of me.
“I love you forever, Mom,” I told her. Tears slipped from her swollen eyes as she squeezed my hand one final time.
My mother died in the early morning hours of Thanksgiving Day. God, in his wonderful, inexplicable economy, had used everything—her strokes, her heart failure, the evening news—to speak to her, to strip away all that had kept his precious daughter from him for so many years.
And that was why, just after sunrise on Thanksgiving Day, 1999, I drove home to be with my family,
Filled with irrational joy.
Your precious mom was beautiful, inside and out. So happy she found the Lord. He always was right by her side. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!
You too, Caroll!
Such a great tribute to your mother ❣️❣️❣️
My mother is Jesus Freaking now but a little to much she is
a big to Much. And that might distract or disturb the peace or something that can make people mad .
At least she is on the
Good side.
🙏🩵🙏
My mother isn’t dead what’s wrong with you. She was wrong
But a Jesus Freak now .
I don’t think Luisa or I were clear about what you were saying in your previous comment.
What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart. Happy Thanksgiving, Mitch.
Thank you, Andi, and Happy Thanksgiving to you!
I heartfelt testimony and thank God that were a living epistle I her life.Thanks again for sharing such easy and inspiring articles. God bless and continue to be thankful today specifically.
Thank you, and Happy Thanksgiving!
You’re welcome,but I celebrated Thanksgiving on 1st Monday in October,Canadian , thanks for belated ..haha blessings.
What a great testament of faith Mitch.
Thank you, Vinny.
I enjoy everything you write, Mitch, but may I have a favorite? This one. This one. Happy Thanksgiving to you…with gratitude for your heartfelt sharing. 💕
Thank you, Vicki, and Happy Thanksgiving to you!
🥰❤️🥰
Okay whatever
It doesn’t sound irrational at all to me, Mitch. You (and your mom)were finally given the only thing that mattered. Happy Thanksgiving.
(It’s Annie again. – Seeking Divine Perspective – Laptop is still in the shop, and my phone apparently doesn’t know who I am. 🙄)
;>) Thanks, Annie, and Happy Thanksgiving!
(It’s Annie again – Seeking Divine Perspective. My laptop is still in the shop, and apparently my cellphone doesn’t know who I am. 🙄)
Oh Mitch… This brought such ‘irrational’ tears to my eyes. What a lovely GIFT FROM GOD He has given you on this otherwise ‘simply annual holiday’ of Thanksgiving! I’m so thankful we will get to see her in Heaven! I’m sure I would have loved her if I’d met her here… Your wife Trudy reminds me of her… both so beautiful! 🥰🥰 Thank you again… I am ever thankful for your heartfelt posts, and for you! 🙌🏻✝️ Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃🦃🦃
Bless you, dear friend, and Happy Thanksgiving to your and yours!
I am a person of faith but I still don’t like and resent the suffering my parents endured in the closing months and days.
Your mom found her way to God. Or, more accurately, He found His way to her. I saw heaven in my mom’s eyes, too, as her earthly life ended. Sometimes people say, when did you lose your mom? I tell them the day and year, but then say, “Actually, I didn’t completely lose her—I know right where she is.” 😇How beautiful heaven must be!
What a lovely way to answer their question, David!
Seven years later, the day after Thanksgiving, I lost my mom. They are such HUGE. gifts from God.
<3
What a beautiful story. God really can use anything to bring people close to Him. I’m sure your mom is sharing a feast today and enjoying looking at her incredible son who brings such joy to others with his beautiful words. Happy Thanksgiving my friend!! I am very grateful for you today.
Thank you so much, Jenny, and Happy Thanksgiving to you!
What a beautiful story.
Thank you, Susan. (I just now saw this–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
I understand your joy. Wow, that photo of your mom. She was GORGEOUS!
Thank you, Priscilla. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Nice bit of writing Mitch. I’m with Vicki, this is definitely a favorite. Happy Thanksgiving!🍁🍁
Belated thanks, Brian. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Such a beautiful way to remember your mother and what a day for you to remember it. I must admit to having a tear in my own eye.
Thank you, Daniel. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Mitch,
You made an old man grow teary eyed with joy, as I remembered my own Mom,
God bless you, Mitch, and your family. Happy memory Thanksgiving…
Glenn
Belated thanks, Glenn. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Brought tears in my eyes of sadness and joy for releasing her from that breathless pain. Nicely articulated and priceless tribute.
Thank you so much, Meena. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
So beautifully articulated. That’s okay. (But one day, she said, “I’m praying for you” in a deliberate, I-mean-this sort of way. “Really?” I asked. And this time she replied, “Yes. Really. Oh, honey,” she continued, “the world is so broken–I never realized just how broken–and there’s nothing I can do about it. So I pray. All the time.”)🙏🙌 be happy.
Grandma, suffering a stroke across the state and we drove to be with her in the CCU. The nurse said she was unable to understand but when I looked into her eyes and told her: “You’ve been afraid a long long time, but Papa’s here and He will take the fear away, My little one”. I reached over to her and gently stroked the bridge of her nose and she closed her eyes and laid back down. She knew,she heard . She died withing hours, Christmas day and our son went to his car and cried tears like a spring stream flooding over a water fall. I know the feeling of your writing and I grieve and celebrate with you.
That’s so touching, Norm. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
This…. I have no other words. If I could hit like a million times I would. This touched me in more ways than one.❤️
Thank you, Natasha. <3 (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Thank you for sharing your memories of your mother, Mitch. My mother died at Thanksgiving, too, and we are burying my father tomorrow. He also said “Yes” late in life, so I understand your “irrational joy”. 🌻🙏
🙏🏼
My sincere and belated condolences, my friend (afraid I don’t know your name). (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
What a beautiful story, Mitch. I miss my mom today. I miss being in her house and smelling the sweet aroma of roasted turkey, sage, cinnamon, vanilla… I miss so many things about her, especially on this day of Thanksgiving.
God bless you and Happy Thanksgiving!
Belated thanks, Scott. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
She will rest safely in your heart and in your memories. Blessings.
Thank you so much, Pamela. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
This is so beautifully written! What a lovely way to honor your beautiful mom.
Thank you, Meghan. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
No problem! And, you’re welcome.
Mitch, thanks for sharing this heartwarming story of your mother’s journey to finding ‘the way, the truth, and the life.’ Much cause for irrational joy <3 A Happy Thanksgiving Day to you and your family 🙂
Belated thanks and gratitude, Rosaliene. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
I’m not surprised, Mitch! I’ve noticed that comments I’ve made on other blogs don’t always show up. WordPress can be trying at times.
It certainly can!
Mitch, thank you for sharing your story. This is a wonderful tribute and testimony of irrational joy found in faith. Shalom.
Thank you, Manette. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Strange things have happened on WP recently, I’ve had a few of my regular readers comments get stuck in “waiting” for approval and one even in redirected into spam. Frustrating when AI or a new algorithm decides to rearrange or in this case redirect the comments. Regardless, I hope you and Trudy have a Merry Christmas!
I have a lot of blogs at WP and can’t transfer there really nice merry Christ day 🙏
I’m not using Al
I’m really sorry I don’t need strife please forgive me I’m new at this.
I haven’t been using AI. Only twice then they stole from Me can you believe than
AI is wrong I’m doing it Gods gifted way
Mitch, this one is your best ever. Great writing, great sharing!
Thank you. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Thank you Mitch! This was beautiful. I understand irrational joy. Grief still stinks mind you, but I still find joy despite the loss. I think we are called to love completely irrational lives (at least to the rest of the world). I am so thankful for all the irrational people I’ve come to know. The irony is that together we are a rational hope for the world…
Amen, Gregory. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Rejoicing with you, Mitch, in our Lord’s great mercy!
Thank you, dear Dora. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Michael Horton uses the expression, “Brokenhearted joy” to describe how we experience the sorrows of this life with our eyes on the promises of heaven. Happy Thanksgiving!
The perfect phrase, Rob. Thank you. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
❤️. And Amen. And wow, she was a beauty on the outside, too.
Thank you. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
sharing the paradox of that joy from the outside of religious faith, thank you for writing this Mitch.
My privilege, Barbara. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Beautiful story of coming to faith. The great pursuit for our hearts! Happy Thanks-giving!
Thank you so much. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
No words just so touched
The good Lord touches us in many ways. Thanks for sharing how He touched you and your mother. God is good! 🙂
He is indeed, Nancy. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
I am so sorry! My birthday is a bittersweet day to me since it was the beginning of the end for both my parents! I am praying for you!
Thank you! (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Thanks for sharing this story about your mom’s life and new life as a conqueror, Mitch. (Romans 8:37-39). Happy Thanksgiving.
Bless you, Jon. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Thank you for sharing this story and experience with us, your followers.
My privilege, Charlotte. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Wonderful story, Mitch! I’ve lost two believing relatives in past Thanksgivings. I, too, have felt joy. God is a harvester. Have a blessed holiday!
Belated thanks and gratitude, Nora. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Mitch, my mother passed peacefully into the arms of Jesus the day after Thanksgiving. She told us all individually that she loved us. After talking to all the grandchildren, she closed her eyes and left us. It will be the 2 year anniversary this year on the 26th. I’m glad you were able to be with her and knew that she had found The Way…
Such a sweet departure–and destination. Thanks for sharing that, Muris. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Wow, Mitch, what a beautiful tribute and story of coming home. May your mother rest in peace and Happy Thanksgiving to you and Trudy! <3
My belated thanks, dear friend. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Mitch- This wonderful sharing of your Mother’s turning her life over to God touched my heart. When we lose one or both of our parents, it is a great comfort to know that they rested in the promises of our Lord Jesus and that one day we will see them in Heaven at the feet of the Savior we too believe in. Thank you Mitch for sharing this with us. Praise God! -Janet Oldfield
Praise God indeed, dear friend! (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Well said, Mitch.
Thanks, Phil. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
What a precious story Mitch. Thank you for telling it again for us to hear. God bless you and your family. Thank God that Jesus is the Way, Truth and Life. I couldn’t make it a mile without Him.
Amen, Pete, and thank you. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
This is beautiful Mitch.
Thank you, Nicola. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
Thanks for sharing this beautiful story! The prayer we have for our loved ones is that they know the Lord before it’s too late. Joy indeed!
Amen, Peggy. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
What a touching story, Mitch! Thanks for sharing….and happy belated Thanksgiving.
Thank you, dear friend. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
She was beautiful! A touching Thanksgiving story.
Thank you, Dawn! (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)
I too, when much younger, thought the upwelling joy I sometimes experienced at funerals to be irrational. As life has gone on and I’ve channeled loved ones for people I’ve never met with total accuracy, often bringing them to tears, I’ve come to realize I was only connecting to the joy of that newly liberated soul.
Thank you, Ana. (I just now saw this, btw–for some reason a whole bunch of previous comments just showed up!)