I was leading the performing arts ministry at a large Southern California church (the one featured in the movie Jesus Revolution). There was a girl in the group who was very attractive and ridiculously easy to talk to. We blended effortlessly, and I’d been thinking she might just be my soulmate.
Then one night a beautiful young woman showed up. After the meeting, a gaggle of us went out to celebrate a birthday. I hitched a ride with the pretty newbie, Trudy. At the restaurant, I kept looking back and forth between her and my would-be soulmate. “Stop it!” I told myself. “Don’t go there!” Trudy drove me home afterward. I leaned in to hug her goodnight. Mistaking the direction of my head, she turned her face toward mine…
And our lips met in the middle.
I’ve written elsewhere about our love and our differences. Let me just repeat that we were wildly different from one another, this pretty newbie and I. We were oil and water. We dated off-and-on for two years. Each time we broke up, I’d attempt to ignite a flame with someone who was more like me, more “soulmate-ish.” But then, somehow, Trudy and I would end up back in our oil and water relationship.
They’re powerful symbols, oil and water. Water is the biblical symbol of life, of God’s provision. Oil is the symbol of calling and purpose (which is why it’s used for spiritual anointing). Two things we can’t live without: Life and Purpose. But can they be mixed?
It’s been 41 years since Trudy and I met, and marriage to her has been the greatest blessing of my life, but it’s also been a mixed blessing. My would-be-could-be-soulmates were nothing like her. They were easy to mix with because they were either very much like me, or (I’m embarrassed to admit this) very impressed with me.
Trudy is neither. She challenges me–constantly. She makes me grow–constantly. And in the process, she makes me better. And I do the same for her. But make no mistake: our mixing together of Life and Purpose takes constant stirring.
And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Love this💕
Here’s to constantly challenging ourselves Mitch! Beautiful story.
Thanks, Brian!
Yup, you got that right. Hard work that’s worth every bit of the effort!
Blessed is he who finds a wife. God blessed you early on. Thank you for sharing. P.S. – I would love to have coffee and conversation with Trudy. Lol…
;>)
No comment? Lol… the emoji is in outer space.
Heartfelt! ❤️
Of course, as you get more crotchety in your advanced years, you’re more like vinegar than water. So when you and Trudy are together, you’re like Italian dressing.
;>)
What a beautiful tribute, Mitch! Better together!
Thanks, Wynne, and amen!
So, James Bond must have been wrong when he said, “Shaken, not stirred.” A marriage and family colleague of mine once wrote a book, “Incompatibility: Grounds for a Great Marriage.” That’s God’s design. Still curious about the one left behind.
I haven’t seen “the one left behind” in many years, Robert, but I pray for her from time to time.
SO glad you didn’t go with one of those “soulmates” and end up in an extremely unbalanced life.
Me too, Annie.
My husband and I differ in so many ways, he is an introvert and I am the extrovert. After almost 60 years together we are still different but have learn to live with it and allow God to use that difference. I use to want to be like him, quite, introspective, seemly calm, more like a Mary instead of a Martha. One of the first things taught me was He made me to be an extrovert and He would help me be one for Him. I still love my quiet, calm introvert husband with a more grown up love. Like your post.
Blessings, my Wise-Hearted friend.
The perfect recipe for a lasting marriage
Thanks, Kathy.
A terrific tribute to your marriage. Thanks for sharing, Mitch.
My pleasure, John.
😊
Beautifully said. My husband and I are oil and water, but every now and then, we blend together beautifully. He’s a people person, while I’m content to live in the imaginary worlds I create. Every now and then, he pulls me into his world of people and I’ve learned that I like it there. We enjoy several activities together, but we also each get me time which is critical. All in all, it’s lasted almost 53 years. As they say, opposites attract.
Beautifully said. My husband and I are oil and water, but every now and then, we blend together beautifully. He’s a people person, while I’m content to live in the imaginary worlds I create. Every now and then, he pulls me into his world of people and I’ve learned that I like it there. We enjoy several activities together, but we also each get me time which is critical. All in all, it’s lasted almost 53 years. As they say, opposites attract.
Exactly, Susanne. And I know what you mean about the “blending together beautifully.” Trudy and I may be opposites, but we also have those “Trudy and Mitch Times” when it’s just us in the world we’ve made together.
And those are the very best times.
Exactly!
No wonder God makes opposites attract in so many marriages. We DO need life (as in fullness of life, not just existence) and purpose to thrive. Thank you for the insight, Mitch! P.S. Your wife is GORGEOUS! 😁
My pleasure, Nancy. And, yes, she is, isn’t she!
Your commitment to your relationship is commendable and a testament to your faith in God’s will. Thanks for sharing what real life is all about, Mitch. 🙂
My privilege, Nancy.
“Opposites attract.” And in this case, it has been proven. 🙏🏾💙
I think this is why we need to let God choose our Soul mates. I really prayed on the last relationship I had, but alas, it wasn’t meant to be. It ended when deception was revealed.
Glad you had the revelation, Venus.
Wonderful story, thanks for sharing.
My pleasure, Julie.
Also want to say that I am enjoying reading your book. Your characters are intriguing and really pull the reader in.
Delighted to hear that, Julie.
What a beautiful story. It’s almost weird how opposites attract but God is a conduit in finding that balance
He is indeed, Tabby.
A predestined encounter, life meeting purpose, love living out its destiny! Blessings to you both!
Amen, and thanks, Warren!
You’re welcome!
The constant stirring is the best part. Love this post Mitch!
Thanks, Alegria!
Somewhere, some deep love is hidden for Trudy , Mitch because you mentioned her in your previous posts also. But love this article 🎉
Thank you, Ramani, and, yes, I do indeed love her deeply.
My husband of almost 50 years has always said, “if both people are just alike, then one isn’t needed.” He and I are such opposites in every way, shape, and form. It’s made an interesting marriage where we are never bored.
I like–and agree with–your husband’s aphorism, DK!
Love requires commitment and challenging each other despite being very different. I don’t think a passive love that believes in compromise or thrives on adulation is love at all. Great write. You found your soulmate. She’s just very different from your idea of a soulmate and I’m glad you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Mitch,
I love your stories. May you both continue to grow and grow.
Thanks, Gary
Gary Avants Forbear Productions * *garyavants66@gmail.com garyavants66@gmail.com
Thank you so much, Gary, and likewise.
A truly (Trudy) beautiful love story, Mitch! I, too, am married to a man totally opposite to me. But we bolster each other up. God makes it work!
Isn’t it amazing that there can be such a difference between who we think we should be drawn to and who we are actually drawn to? When I was young, I found tall, intellectual men with dark hair and preferably a beard very attractive. So who did I marry? A short, balding jock. (I had no idea he even played college sports until one of his friends told me he got the “Senior Athlete of the Year Award” at a ceremony the night before.) We’re different, but we have been happily married for almost 44 years! I’m glad you found the soulmate God had in mind for you too!
Thanks, Ann, and ditto!
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I love this story! I also appreciate the spiritual message of oil and water! Thank you for sharing!
My pleasure, Katie.
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