A few autumns back, while blowing leaves into rake-able piles, I was assaulted by a group of tiny kamikazes called yellow jackets. A week later, I was still treating my arm for the itching hives when the yellow jackets attacked again!
Sure, I respected their laugh-in-the-face-of-death tenacity. But as the world’s leading defense expert Kevin McCallister of Home Alone reminded me, this was my house and I had to defend it! So I did some research. It turns out yellow jackets hate fall weather — and tend to work out their anger issues on humans.
So, that night my wife and I waited until they’d retreated to their underground lair to plot world domination, starting with our house. And then, while Trudy pointed a flashlight at their den entrance, I covered it with a heavy glass bowl. Almost instantly, they began flying up into the bowl. Trapped. Hah!
“Uh, honey…” said my wife.
“What?”
“They’re flying out from under the edges!”
We ran screaming into the house.
But the moment we shut the door, I felt needles piercing my body. I ripped off my hoody, and three yellow jackets flew out. Trudy grabbed the fly swatter and began chasing after them. I started stripping down–sans pole and mirror ball–hurling my clothes to the floor. I peeled off my pants; four flew out of the pantlegs. I pried two off my throbbing neck. “We die in battle to live in Valhalla!” the tiny warriors exulted.
Ow! My ankles hurt. I peeled off my socks and found three anchored there. Unlike bees, yellow jackets sting over and over again while clinging with barbed feet. Like reverse vampires, they deliver as much venom as they can before being physically pried away.
We finally hunted down and killed the last of them (Trudy kept discovering more in my discarded t-shirt, pants, and hoody). I treated my wounds with ice, antihistamines, and Netflix. But the war was far from over. This was my house…
And I had to defend it!
To read the conclusion, click here.
This is the stuff of nightmares. Glad you survived!
So am I, Teresa!
I couldn’t seem to find where to independently comment, so I’m putting it here:
I feel for you. When I was probably about 10 years old (probably about 1960 or 61), one of my older sisters had already moved out and had her own apartment. It had an outdoor open air wooden stair. Once while over there she warned me that there was a yellow jacket nest built under one the the steps and that I should not use the stairs. I did anyway and got multiple zingers on my ankles. It hurt like “heck”, which was the closest I was allowed to cussing.
Then decades later, in August 1987, my wife and I took a white water raft trip on the Middle Fork of the Salmon River in Idaho. At lunchtime we took out at place that had some kind of historical significance, although I have forgotten what. It was hot and I took off my t-shirt and draped it over one of the bailing buckets. When we were ready to leave I hastily threw it back on, not knowing that several yellow jackets had decided to explore the inside of the t-shirt. Needless to say, it came back off very quickly, but not before I had a number of stings on my back and shoulders. The rest of the afternoon was not much fun! I’m pretty sure that I was mumbling words under my breath that were a bit worse than “heck”!
I would have been too, Starman!
Oh Mitch! Yellow jackets are the worst! I’m sorry! We will await to see how the enemy will succumb to next tactics?
🧡👍
As a longtime tree and landscape guy what worked best was early in the a.m, pour a tiny bit of gas into the hole and drop a match. Works every time!
Oh no! Too bad there wasn’t a pool of water nearby. You could have jumped in it. 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝
Maybe, Nancy. But I was inside the house before I realized they’d gotten inside my clothes.
Yikes!
That’s horric, Mitch. Yellow jackets are scary.
I meant horrific
That’s pretty bad. We’ve only had one or two at a time not a whole slew of them. Yikes.
I was near a creek and fell/slid down a mud bank where, as it turned out, yellow jackets lived. I got stung and stung and tried to get up and out but kept sliding in the mud. Thanks for bringing up the memories. Really, though, your experience sounds awful. If I found the bees inside my place, where they do not belong, there would be an added layer of panic.
Should’ve jumped into the creek! At least they don’t like water.
Oh how I sympathize with you! I have been the victim more than once of those yellow devils! But I was stung once by a black hornet and that was worse. Just one sting, but it actually felt like some one had thrown a rock at me when he stung me! But my worst experience with bees was on horseback. You can read about it on my blog post “Julio” from my archives dated 2016/03/14
Sorry to hear that, Sheryl!
These are very dangerous insects, hope you are safe, Mitch
👍
That was quite a battle. They sure have a lot of determination. Thankfully I have never had an encounter with them, Hoping I read in the next part of the story that you found a solution to keep them away.
Thanks, Mags.
Sorrry to her about this episode with Yellow Jackets. George Washington had a problem with Red Coats for 7 years.
;>) True, Carl. Red Coats are among the worst kind of WASPS (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants).
Yellow jackets are evil.
Ouch!
Goodness! I had no idea yellow jackets were so vicious! Glad you survived.
Thanks, me too, Belinda. ;>)
DANNNNG!
They are my mortal enemy. Wasps on the other hand, I’ve learned to respect – they help out in the garden!
Yeah, most wasps are pretty easy going and, like bees, they’re pollinators.
Oh, the “Joys” of Life! Thank you for this Post and we are looking forward to the continuing life lessons ..!!
I was stung by a wasp in my back when I was 21 and almost died from the after effects. Now I always have an epipen with me when I go outside. You are lucky they didn’t kill you or your wife! Until this happened, I never even knew I was fatally allergic to wasps.
How terrifying, Nancy!
I can sympathize with your experience, Mitch. One year I got lazy with some of my front yard cleanup, and I left a pile of raked leaves unmoved for about 4 days. Finally, I decided to bag the pile up and I felt a nasty sting on my hand. I saw a bee fly away and I continued with my bag towards the pile, only to receive a second and then third sting on my hand. I then noticed that the bees were coming out from under the leaf pile. I never imagined bees taking over a leaf pile like that. As much as I hated to do so, I took a can of wasp spray to the pile and either killed or scattered the rest of the swarm. I hadn’t been stung by a bee since I was 8 years old, when I stepped on on while at a swimming hole. Have a wonderful day, Mitch.
Art
😢
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Scary! Quite the experience.
Ouchhhhhhhh!!! Those things are Buzzards!!!!
;>)
Sooo, maybe y’all just please use the professionals next time. 😆😂🤣
This sounds incredibly painful. No, thank you!.
;>)
Empathy, Mitch, Yellow jackets are vicious little things. I can’t imagine but the black bears will dig out their nests to eat the larvae and nectar. Not sure the stings would be worth it…
Quite something! Can be so dangerous. And yet last week we heard ab account where a relative was stung by a huge bumble bee, and, guess what… Cured of chronic awful bronchitis. Totally. Whatever that was, it worked. 🤔
Take two bumble bees and call me in the morning.
😀 I’d be scared of their shadow!
Just wondering if the venom is used medically for some. ( My dad had an awful incident and needed ER).
Definitely not, Peggy!
how awful
I’ve gotten rid of them before but I always suit up first – I look like I’m wearing armour! So sorry to hear about this – a nasty experience.
I suited-up the second time, Lynette!
Mitch! Stay frosty my friend. I battled these freaks for years and hit them with the pressure hose after tracking down the nests. They’re evil!
Ugh! Glad you weren’t allergic! I think a pint of gas and an M-80 is in order… 😂👌
;>)
Ugh! That sounds painful.
It certainly was, Gerry!
Even when you describe something like this, your words are so strong and the narration compelling! Get well soon my dear 💖
Thank you, Afrodite, but I’m fine now; that was actually several years ago.
Around dusk or so they should all be in their nest so that’s a good time to go out armed with a can of wasp spray in case any are near the entrance – spray that first to keep them from coming out to get you, then pour hot soapy water down the hole. That should take care of the problem.
Oh my gosh, how did they get inside your clothes and you didn’t even realize it, that too so many. But they didn’t attack your wife?
She was standing farther away, and they seemed to know I was the one who put the bowl over their entrance.
They must’ve thought you looked more tasty too 😆
No way, my wife’s a total dish! ;>)
Ahhh I’m sure but I think they prefer your blood 😁
Yikes!
You poor guy! How horrible. My husband had the same thing happen to him. Those yellow jackets are vicious. Our dog was trying to keep Billy away from the ground hive, so he got stung multiple times, too. It’s crazy how they get inside your clothes. I can’t wait to read how you got your revenge. I’m wondering if it’s the same way that my husband did……..
Could be!
The same thing happened many years ago. We poured a little gasoline into the hole and threw in a match. Boom, gone.
Yikes!
Little but powerful….. like drone warfare!
!!!
Oh my gosh, Mitch, that sounds beyond awful!
🧡 I’ve definitely had better experiences, Kara.
I’m still laughing at the whole: “…“We die in battle to live in Valhalla!” the tiny warriors exulted…”
I’ve killed wasps and received a few stings for thanks, but I did survive. You did too, apparently.
So it would seem. ;>)
I never fight a losing battle. Sometimes you have to retreat to get a better solution. Am allergic! Friend I don’t know what to say. Hope your next experiment pans out. Blessings and Peace!
You too, Claudia!
What??? OMG…😱I hate this happened. Glad you’re ok. I’m really afraid of those.
Thanks, Nikki. They’re not always aggressive. The problem is it’s hard to tell when they will be.
You welcome. Oh wow. I guess it’s the law of nature or when they decide they will be.
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yeah, yellow jackets and wasps, ugh! they’ll attack over any provocation. any anything is a provocation.