First photo: On floor: Mitch, Standing: BF Jeff and Mitch’s cousins (Ralph is not in this picture)
My Real Memoir
I was nineteen, and so was my cousin Ralph. It was Christmas Eve, and it was the last time I ever saw him. Ralph and I took a walk around the neighborhood that night, the one I’d lived in as a kid and Ralph had lived in until he’d found a job and an apartment that year. This was his last family event, he told me. As far as he was concerned, families were no more than strangers you were randomly assigned to at birth. He was the most detached person I’ve ever known.
When we got to the end of the block, I pointed into the hollow stump of a primeval oak tree. As long as I could remember, I’d peered down into the velveteen bottomlessness of that stump, and been tempted to climb into it and discover what new worlds awaited me! “No,” Ralph said, “there’s nothing but dirt.”
Maybe he was right. My future was looking iffy. My band’s recording contract was rapidly disintegrating. My grades were suffering and, thanks to the just-launched draft lottery system, if I failed to pass all my classes, I’d soon be invited to discover what new worlds awaited me in Vietnam. All of my dreams, it seemed, all of the magic tunnels to the future, were turning out to be “nothing but dirt.”
But then I remembered George. Not long before winter break, George Pal, the legendary science-fiction and fantasy filmmaker (The Time Machine, The War of the Worlds, Houdini, Tom Thumb), and one of my creative heroes, had made a guest appearance at my college. I ruminated on every word as he spoke about his passion for trying new things and inventing new movie genres. Afterward, I introduced myself to him, and asked, “Mr. Pal, what do you do when you can’t find a way?”
George grinned and leaned in. “Well, when you can’t find a way, make a way.”
That Christmas Eve seemed to me to define my cousin’s perspective on life: what you see is all there is—there’s nothing but dirt. Which is great if you’re a plant. Ralph continued to work at the same job and live in the same apartment, I understand, for the next four decades.
But I wasn’t a plant. So I decided to improve my grades, to start writing new songs, stories and plays, and to look for opportunities to present them. And if I didn’t find a way…
I’d make a way.
My Real Memoir is a series. To read the next one, click here.
Mitch a great story which has a lot of value in today’s uncertain world!
Brad
Thanks, Brad!
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Your determination to do the best you can with the talents you’ve been blessed with is admirable. 🙂
Thank you, Nancy.
Sage (and timely) advice.
Yes!
Nice post and a powerful ending, “And if I didn’t find a way… I’d make a way.”
Thanks, Edward.
Nice read, Mitch. I’ve always felt the same way, look for a different worm hole if the one you’re in doesn’t fit. Glad you made it through and too bad about your cousin, being stuck and all.
Thanks, Phil. I hesitate to say much about my cousin, since I haven’t seen him since we were teenagers. I only know what little his sister has told me, so far be it for me to judge. He’s had his own path to traverse, one I really know nothing about. Praying for him, though, even as I type this.
I have a cousin with a similar path, nothing from him in decades.
Great read, Mitch.
Thank you, T.
It’s my pleasure.
Kudos Mitch for your determination and perseverance, for bypassing the self-pity and victimhood!
Aw, thank you on behalf of 19-year-old Mitch, Nancy!
It is so important to take action, Mitch, and change what you can. Sounds like Ralph gave up as a young man, while you went for the possibilities.
I feel somewhat relieved that your cousin Ralph lived at least another four decades. I wonder if he ever regretted his decision.
I don’t know, Al. Unfortunately, we’ve been out of touch ever since then.
It is great that you ran into George. But I strongly suspect that if you hadn’t met him, someone else would have helped you discover this great key to life. Because you would have kept asking the question!
Could be.
“When you can’t find a way, make a way.” I love it! And I like your ambition, Mitch. Thank you for sharing. 😊
My pleasure, Iman.
Nice thought Mitch, but then again, when we are following the Good Shepherd, “When we can’t find a way – God will make a way.” (Kind of reminds me of a song!)
Indeed, Pete. But this was about seven years before my conversion, so I was blind to God’s role in “my” choices. Nowadays, I think in terms of King Hezekiah. In 2 Chronicles it says, “In everything he undertook, he sought his God…and so he prospered.”
Love the story, Mitch! Thanks for the encouragement, keep going and doing. And God will help guide our way.
Thanks, Peggy!
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