I pre-planned this whimsical Dr. Seuss-style retelling of the Exodus story before the current shooting tragedy in Texas. I earnestly pray that it will do what humor can sometimes do: draw us together, help us cope, and remind us that one day, “God will wipe away every tear, and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for those things will have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)
Now, down in old Eejip where Fayro was king,
A fellow named Mo did a wonderful thing.
There were Heebrooz and Sheebrooz all over the place,
And that put a frown on old Fayroze’s face.
So he did some upsetting to stop all their smiles,
But they just kept begetting. They stretched out for miles!
Then Mo said, “Hey, Fayro, you’re mean and you’re rotten.
What God’s gonna do—well, it won’t be forgotten!”
Sure enough, God got angry and took ‘em away.
Then Fayro got mad too, and yelled, “Ogla-hey!”
Which was Jipchin for, “I’m gonna hurt you so bad
You’ll wish you were one kid your mom never had!”
’Cause that’s the way Jipchins and most people get.
When they don’t get their way, they don’t like it a bit!
Now, ‘Ro was so mad that he followed ‘em all,
Little ones, big ones, short types and tall.
Then he backed ’em all up at the sea that was red,
And said, “Now you’ll wish that you really were dead!
But Mo took his big stick, and raising it high,
Said, “God, now would be a great time to drop by!”
And God, who was there all along anyway,
Picked up that old sea and just threw it away!
Then Fayro said, “Go soldiers, go on and get ’em!”
And the soldiers they tried, but the sea up and et ’em!
Then the Heebrooz and Sheebrooz of Izree-a-lee
Said God was the best god they ever did see.
They partied and stayed up ’til way, way past eight,
Celebratin’ their save from a Fayro-ish fate.
But before very long they got thirsty and cranky,
And started to grumble, ‘specially one guy named Spanky.
Then the people got hungry, in fact they were starved.
They were dreaming of roasted quail perfectly carved,
And freshly baked bread, right off of the shelf,
And hoping Jehovah would bake it Himself.
Sure enough, when the night came, a Heebroo named Ralph
Was struck in the mouth by a quail flying south.
Then one after one they came flying in,
Soon quails were in stewpots and frying in tins.
To be continued..
I loved this. I did not know Spanky was the loudest complainer. 😉
Haha, “Heebrooz and Sheebrooz!” I hope you plan to illustrate this whole book.
Actually, there are quite a few more illustrations (done by my wife).
Ah, ha! She’s an artist! I just knew she would be a kindred spirit! 🙂
Love it!
So I absolutely LOVE this! It’s perfect! I have a fun story… I had a journalism prof that assigned a project to all of us… to get an interview with someone known to repulse the media. We were each assigned an individual. One member of the class was particularly ingenious. She had been assigned an interview with Dr. Seuss, aka Theodor Geisel. She decided to make her request Seuss style… and Voila! She got the interview. 🙂 Your post is brilliant! Can’t wait to read more! No fair… a cliff-hanger. 😉
Well, you could cheat and read the Book. ;>)
Love it, love it, loooove it! The illustrations are perfect, too.
I’m glad you went ahead and posted this. You’re right, we need humor to get through these tough times.
Just what the doctor ordered—Suess, that is. Fun stuff, Mitch. 😀
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Brilliant!
You couldn’t have written this with such flair if you didn’t have a thorough knowledge
of Exodus. It works splendidly! Thanks for the laughter…it is needed!
I loved this. Really funny.
Excellent, Mitch.
You and your wife are the epitimy of creativity! This is so great…especially the Sheebrooz LOL…and can’t wait to read the rest. You are too much!! May I have your permission to read this to my Bible study gals?
Yep. Thanks, Dori!
Thank you!!!
Wonderful telling of the story.
“the lord is my refuge, the lord is my strength,” revelation 46:03
That’s from Psalm 46:1, Rudy. (Revelation doesn’t have that many chapters.)
then change your scripture to psalm 21:01
if i meant psalm 46:03
I have no idea what you mean, Rudy. But bless you anyway.
46:03
you only mentioned the bible verse that are applicable to the topic that was in discussion
what do you mean psalm instead of revelation
That’s true. I only mention Bible verses that are relevant to what I’m talking about. When I say “Psalm” I’m referring to chapters and verses from the book of Psalms, and when I say “Revelation” I’m referring to chapters and verses from the book of Revelation.
if i meant psalm 46, change the chapter to psalm 21, instead of revelation.
Terrific, Mitch.
Mitch, who did the artwork?! Great poem. God is at work – put Moses on my heart this morning, before I read this.
My wife. Just posted Part Two. Thanks, Katie!
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Well done! Can’t wait for the next installment.
Here it is, Sandi: https://mitchteemley.com/2017/11/07/wharton-finds-a-whatzit-part-two/
This is so fantastic!!! Absolutely our family’s kind of humor. Sharing with all of them. 🙂 Tell your wife the illustrations are spot-on!!
Will do!
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