We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve

Posted on August 23, 2026 by mitchteemley
Photo by Elisabeth Wales

“We accept the love we think we deserve” (Stephen Chbosky). Sadly, we are not only prone to accepting the love we think we deserve, but only the love we think we deserve. And it severely limits us to remaining what we are. Or even less than we are.

But what if we accept the love we don’t deserve?

The love that frees us to become

what we were always meant to be?

†

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
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19 Responses to We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve

  1. mothjournal14 says:
    August 23, 2026 at 10:45 am

    One of me favorite scripture verses. Thank you for this beautiful message this morning, Mitch.

    Reply
  2. Andrew McDowell says:
    August 23, 2026 at 11:05 am

    Powerful thought.

    Reply
  3. MKR Prodigal Daughter says:
    August 23, 2026 at 11:19 am

    Lately I have been doubting God’s love for me, because everything has gone wrong this month.

    Reply
  4. Debby Marie says:
    August 23, 2026 at 11:29 am

    I agree with what Elizabeth Wales wrote. Maybe, we accept the love we think we deserve because it’s convicting to think about the love we don’t deserve.

    Reply
  5. Ab says:
    August 23, 2026 at 11:51 am

    A powerful verse, Mitch – both when viewed in biblical context as well as the secular context of being in potentially harmful and toxic relationships. It is so freeing to know and feel and accept God’s love. 😊🥰

    Reply
  6. Kymber says:
    August 23, 2026 at 12:06 pm

    Such a true and freeing insight, Mitch.

    Reply
  7. Anna Waldherr says:
    August 23, 2026 at 12:56 pm

    Insightful. Accepting the unmerited love of God is transformative.

    Reply
  9. luisa zambrotta says:
    August 23, 2026 at 1:42 pm

    Beautifully said, Mitch!
    That kind of unconditional love is exactly what breaks our limits and allows us to grow. T
    hank you for this inspiring insight.

    Reply
  10. LouLou says:
    August 23, 2026 at 3:11 pm

    I rarely recognize who loves me, myopic I suppose.

    Reply
  11. M. Wiley Wilson says:
    August 23, 2026 at 3:24 pm

    What strikes me most is how quietly destructive our self-assessments can be. When we only receive the love we think we deserve, we end up reinforcing the very wounds Christ came to heal. But the gospel flips the whole equation: God gives love we could never earn, never merit, never “deserve”—and that unmerited love is what actually re-creates us.

    Accepting that love is uncomfortable because it dismantles our illusions of control. Yet it’s also the doorway into becoming who we were meant to be. Grace doesn’t just comfort; it transforms. And sometimes the most courageous act of faith is simply letting ourselves be loved beyond our own imagination.

    Thank you for the reminder that real growth begins where our self‑limits end.

    Reply
  12. Daedalus Lex says:
    August 23, 2026 at 4:59 pm

    Throwing open all the doors and windows and letting love flow in both directions is a great capacity, and it can be moderately difficult or very difficult to achieve, depending on your childhood and on the influences you choose later. As a rule, it ain’t easy, but boy is it liberating!

    Reply
  13. Pure Glory says:
    August 23, 2026 at 5:36 pm

    If we accept the love we don’t deserve, Mitch, we are radically changed!

    Reply
  14. Peter Mis says:
    August 23, 2026 at 9:12 pm

    It is such a cruel limitation we can place upon our own sense of self.

    Reply
  15. byngnigel says:
    August 24, 2026 at 1:55 am

    The kind of love that would place itself in harm’s way. Is the kind of love everyone deserves. It is offered freely, yet so many refuse it.

    Reply
  17. Maren says:
    August 24, 2026 at 7:39 am

    Sometimes I think that I don’t accept “unmerited” love because I know people who are mental abusers and accept love they don’t deserve happily. I need to pull myself out of comparisons.

    Reply

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