Source: Animalia Life Club
My Real Memoir
I was reading it in secret, The Bible. I couldn’t help it. I hadn’t chosen it. “It” had chosen me. I was finally encountering Jesus in context. And in the process, discovering the kind of love the flower-child era promised but couldn’t produce.
True, my longing for transcendent love wasn’t proof that it was real, or that God was real. Maybe I was starving for a food that didn’t exist. But I was reading John, the fourth gospel now, and I simply couldn’t turn off the hope Jesus’ words were planting in me. I learned that at one point many of his followers turned away. But when he asked his Apostles why they hadn’t left, Peter replied, “To whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”
Peter had given voice to my thoughts. I recalled the mentally and physically handicapped teenager I’d seen on TV. Could I trust Jesus the way he did, without reservation, despite my brokenness? Where else could I go? He had the words of life.
But I still had reservations about God “the Father.” Then I read that when Jesus’ disciples asked him to show them the Father, he replied, “If you have seen me, you have seen the Father (for) I am in the Father, and the Father is in me.” And for the first time I began to see God’s true character.
Oddly enough, this awareness freed my earthly father (who’d died four years earlier) from having to be what no human ever could. I started to think of him as a well-meaning-but-immature dad. Just 22 when I was born, his efforts at guidance had felt like judgment. He simply hadn’t known how else to show his love. And I in turn had been too immature to see it for what it was.
Then I came upon these words: “This is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” And my life changed forever. In the days that followed I learned that “eternal life” meant far more than never-ending. It meant a life infinitely greater than the one we know. It meant real life, life with a capital L.
I finally began to understand that this was what I hungered for but thought I’d never find, the very purpose of my life. It was to know my Creator.
I drove to my little arts academy and stood in the darkened dance studio/theatre one final time. I thought about Rick’s deep sea diving story, and how, to survive, he’d needed someone up top to pump air down to him. I was finally beginning to believe that there was “someone up top.”
True, God hadn’t answered my demands to “just cough or something.” But it seemed now that he’d been answering me my whole life. He’d answered when, as a five-year-old, I dreamed I died, looked down at my body, and knew I was loved. I’d understood then that there was nothing I had to do to earn that love. How could I have forgotten?
And he was speaking to me now through every word Jesus had said and everything he’d done. So I began my first real prayer with the words…
“You don’t have to cough.”
My Real Memoir is a series. To read the next one, click here.
Your realness is so compelling. . .
Thank you, Joy.
I’m happy for you. 🙂
Thanks, Andrew.
You’re welcome, Mitch.
I love it, Mitch!
Thank you, Jerry.
…for those who have ears to hear…
So true, Rob.
That was beautiful! He comes to us in different ways and in different seasons. But the indescribable feeling of being loved and accepted – we all experience that. Or at least I did!
🧡
I’ve been waiting for this moment in your memoir! It’s fascinating and exiting to read!
Thanks, Abe!
So blessed to read this, Mitch. You have clearly and honestly conveyed words of truth and light and life. Thank you for your openness to share your experiences in the Lord. I hope there will be at least one someone who will read this and find Jesus personally. God bless you.
Thank you so much, Diane.
Finally! I was looking forward to this gratifying part of your memoir-your spiritual awakening! 🙂
🧡
Love this so much!
That moment when you realize God was always there, that he always cared…
Exactly, Lisa. 🧡
Beautiful 🎉 wonderful 👏👏🎶🎵
Thank you, Morag.
Great post, thank you for sharing
My privilege, L.G.
❤️☺️
Yes, reading the Bible can give birth to these little but glowing epiphanes. I’ve found another way. In 2016 I gave myself a writing assignment. I bought a dozen high school spiral binders of notebook paper .
. Then I copied and hand wrote the entire New Testament. Took a year but I did it.
I’m hanging in every word. Testimony is powerful, Mitch. Thank you for sharing your’s with us.
My privilege, Debi.
I love that scripture John 17:3. Eternal life means to get to know Him. That is what it is all about- getting to know Him – and we get to start here and now. How great is that? Great Testimony, Mitch. ❤️
A very moving and candid account of your spiritual journey, Mitch. Your reflections on hope, longing, and the search for real love are deeply relatable and beautifully told. Weaving together your personal struggles, reflections on scripture, and the metaphor of “someone up top” sustaining us. Your honesty shines through, and your journey toward understanding both your earthly and heavenly Father is inspiring. Take care, my friend!
Thank you so much, Dalo. And likewise, my friend.
Beautiful post!
Thank you so much, Daisy.
A beautiful and powerful testimony, Mitch.
Thank you, Danny.
I understand what you mean about relating to Peter’s words. Scripture is so powerful.
So honest and beautiful. God tells the best stories!!
He does indeed, Nora.
Thanks for the post Mitch. God is good all the time!
Amen, Beth.
The power of story—indeed!! Very powerful, Mitch. Thank you!
My privilege, Katie.
What I’d like to know, Mitch, is why you felt compelled to read the Bible in secret . . . 🤷♀️
The words “the Bible” at the start of the first sentence are linked to my previous memoir post, which sets up this statement. I had a lot of intellectual pride, Sandy, and didn’t want anyone knowing I was reading something written for “religious people.”
Yes, after all, we’re all terrified of ‘religious people’. 😉😂🤣
;>)
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