The Holidays Are Upon Us!

Posted on December 20, 2023 by mitchteemley

'Watch Your Back' (bizarro.com)

“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” ~Dave Barry

“I bought my brother some gift-wrap. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.”  ~Steven Wright

“Everyone thinks I’m Jewish. I’m not. Last year I got a call: ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ I said, ‘Ma, I’m not Jewish.'” ~Joy Behar

“After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” ~Oscar Wilde

“The three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.”  ~Rick Sutter

“When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?”  ~G. K. Chesterton

♥

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
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24 Responses to The Holidays Are Upon Us!

  1. Wholeness Chronicles Journey says:
    December 20, 2023 at 11:57 am

    Thanks for posting very relevant for a such a time and season.

    Reply
  2. joyindestructible says:
    December 20, 2023 at 12:04 pm

    LOL thanks for the Christmas chuckle.

    Reply
  3. luisa zambrotta says:
    December 20, 2023 at 12:13 pm

    Great quotes and lovely cartoon!!!

    Reply
  4. Vanya Wryter Consulting says:
    December 20, 2023 at 1:06 pm

    Very funny! Thanks for the share!

    Reply
  6. Rosaliene Bacchus says:
    December 20, 2023 at 2:52 pm

    😀 😀 😀

    Reply
  7. John W. Howell says:
    December 20, 2023 at 3:24 pm

    Excellent, Mitch.

    Reply
  8. Nancy Homlitas says:
    December 20, 2023 at 3:43 pm

    The Dave Barry quote is so spot on that it opens ones eyes to what the Christmas season has morphed into. Thanks for sharing these amusing quotes, Mitch.

    Reply
  9. Victoria says:
    December 20, 2023 at 7:44 pm

    O…the Rick Sutter quote! 😉

    Reply
  10. jilldennison says:
    December 21, 2023 at 2:09 am

    Good ones, Mitch!!!

    Reply
  11. cindy knoke says:
    December 21, 2023 at 2:36 am

    ⭐☃️༶･･ᗰદ૨૨ʏ ᘓમ૨ıડτന੨ડ･･༶☃️⭐

    Reply
  12. M. L. Kappa says:
    December 21, 2023 at 5:48 am

    Love Bizarro ❤️ Good post. Happy holidays, Mitch

    Reply
  13. Awakening Wonders says:
    December 21, 2023 at 12:13 pm

    The cartoon and quotes have me smiling!

    Reply
  14. Ab says:
    December 21, 2023 at 2:14 pm

    The Joy Behar quote is hilarious.

    Reply
  15. Chris G Thelen says:
    December 23, 2023 at 8:53 am

    Thanks for these quotes. Merry Christmas!

    Reply
  16. Michael E. Lynch says:
    December 24, 2023 at 10:45 pm

    I believe Dave Barry accurately defined the reason for the season according to most Americans.

    Reply

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