I met this girl who loved God and Shakespeare (in that order). She was smart. Creative. And as pretty as English china. Outwardly decorous, inwardly stubborn—Jane Austen meets the Rebel Alliance. I thought I’d found heaven. I had and I hadn’t. At first we flared up like a firework stand, but then we got scared and put on our flak jackets.
We were a mismatch. She was a soft-spoken church girl who’d secretly turned away from God, then privately clawed her way back to Him; I was a former atheist with too much personality and a very public passion for God. But somehow we thought we could make it work. Same God, same Shakespeare, and yet it wasn’t enough. After two tumultuous years of dancing in flak jackets, we gave up. We’d apparently done something wrong.
Some time after that I ran into her at the same coffee house we’d gone to when we first met. Absent the need to “make it work,” we were astonished at how much we enjoyed each other. We began meeting regularly just to talk (Dutch treat, of course; we were only friends, after all). Soon regularly turned into daily. Anytime anything of significance occurred (roughly every 5 minutes), my first thought was to call her.
We soon realized what our sniggering friends had known all along: we were a thing, a whatever-it-was-we-hadn’t-been-before. And both of us had abandoned our flak jackets. She looked at me one night and said in very un-church-girl language, “Oh, what the hell!” and kissed me. Not in the way you kiss a friend.
One month later, at a ridiculously romantic spot along Monterrey, California’s 17 Mile Drive, I asked her to marry me and took her picture as she said yes. Romantic? Oh, yes. Except that I then opened the back of the camera (thinking it had one of those state-of-the-80s film cartridges—it didn’t) and ruined the entire roll of film. Nevertheless, the image of her saying “Yes!” is firmly mounted in the photo album of my memory.
We set a date for the ceremony and began attending prenuptial-bliss counseling. We took a test. I should have studied harder. The result? We were dangerously different (“tell us something we don’t know”) and were advised to consider spousal alternatives. We’d apparently done something wrong.
We got married anyway. There were bumps in the road, of course—hello, this is marriage. But we never put our flak jackets back on. And we never stopped being best friends. Well, OK, sometimes we did. But when we did it hurt so much we just had to go and tell our best friend about it.
At our Wedding Vows Renewal ceremony
And then there were kids. We apparently did something wrong there too. And something wonderful. Parenting is never just one or the other. It’s always both.
31 years later (today is our anniversary) she’s still beautiful. Still my best friend. Still loves God and Shakespeare. And still loves me. And the firework stand still threatens to go up in flames sometimes.
We apparently did something right.
Beautiful. A handbook on living. Thank you.
Thank you! Though I think people might do better to look to God for that. ;>)
Happy Anniversary! I would’ve married my wife in 2 weeks after I asked her as well, but my future mother in law would’ve struck that down real fast. We have been married now for 24 years and we are still best friends too. Great tribute, I enjoyed it.
Thank you, and congrats on your 24 years with your best friend! Here’s to 24 more, and then 24 more after that, and then…
Thank you! I am praying that we can enjoy companionship even into eternity one day. Even though we won’t be married in Heaven.
What a heartening story, Mitch! I think we can all relate to the bumps. Despite all odds, my honey and I will celebrate 20 years next September, and all the schemes to undo this bond will not stand against us 😀 Grateful to find fellow sojourners and follow your stories of faith and victory!
Likewise, Sharon!
Happy anniversary! Jane Austen meets the Rebel Alliance…i’m surprised you resisted as long as you did!
;>) Thank you, Heather!
Great story – part of the key for me in your story was the line – ‘…But when we did it hurt so much we just had to go and tell our best friend about it’. Congrats!
Yeah, that was pretty key for us too, Ken. Thanks!
What a romantic tribute. Have a Happy Anniversary week!
Thank you, Karina. We did.
Reblogged this on andstilliwonder and commented:
What a lovingly honest story. And delightfully put together
Congratulations! I enjoyed your writing style. I thank God that my hubby is my best friend.
Glad to hear that. And good to connect!
Great post and just in time for our 19 years coming up next week. Like you, we weren’t supposed to be, yet here we are best friends as ever!
Congrats, Griffin!
Oh my goodness. This brought laughter, smiles, tears, and joy. What a beautiful tribute and story. Congratulations! Happy Anniversary. Roller coasters can be fun. 😉
Thank you, Nancy. And, yes, they can!
You’re welcome!
Reblogged this on Mel Evers wonders about it all and commented:
It is in our power to succeed or fail.
What a wonderful story, told with great humour. Happy Anniversaryr to you …… 🙂 .
Thank you, Judith!
Salutations Mitch, this was an amazing post.
The only thing that was greater than your story was the literary tact in which you told it. This was a very relevant message to me because I just recently got married at the end of August. So much for that test eh? It’s crazy that it suggested “spousal alternatives.” You two committed to each other and that’s what separates you from the numerous other marriages that failed.
What would your greatest piece of advice be to a young married couple?
Thank you so much, James. And congratulations!
Greatest piece of advice? Love and serve God. Together.
Thank you Mitch, you are a great writer, if your willing would you mind checking out this short post and let me know what you think?
It’s titled, “Is the Glass Half Empty or Half Full? The New Perspective You Need to Hear!” https://activateyourall.wordpress.com/2016/11/04/is-the-glass-half-empty-or-half-full-the-new-perspective-you-need-to-hear/
Honored, James! Read your post and enjoyed it. Good point. Just two suggestions: 1) Keep it brief–watch out for redundancy; and 2) Keep it colorful–make sure you illustrate your thoughts with interesting stories or illustrations. Rock on, brother!
Thanks for your feedback Mitch, I really appreciate your perspective. Rest assured I will definitely edited this piece, while keeping economy, detail, and voice in mind. You are a great writer Mitch, I really appreciate your time. All the best.
Good to connect, James.
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I love this so much. Happy anniversary. 🙂
Thank you, Cat.
Beautiful! I love this! Congratulations to you and your beautiful gem of a bride!
Made me smile.
Reblogged this on SWICH.
Happy Anniversary!!! Loved your story!
Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:
Today is our 33rd anniversary, and I’m reblogging this post from two years back. Why? Because I’m hurrying to get ready for my date with this amazing woman I met when…oh, just read the post.
That is awesome! Praise the Lord, and congratulations! You guys did it right!
Thank you, Ryan.
Congratulations. You’ve apparently done many things right.
;>) Thank you, Nancy.
This is one of the most well written stories I’ve read in a while. I am inspired by your talented creative writing skills.
Thank you!
This is Awesome! Love your honesty, so entertaining and heartwarming to read. Happy Anniversary and blessings for many more. Keep doing something right! 🙂
Thank you, Joy!
You are very welcome!
Happy Anniversary!! What a wonderful description of your lives together and your love! By the way, your wife is not only smart, she’s also beautiful. But of course, you already knew that 😀 God bless you both big time!
Thanks, and bless you back, Lynn!
Right thing? You certainly did! Happy Anniversary!!
Thank you!
This is Golden. You have the story that touches the hardest of Hearts. The best is that you are able to live this every year. Happy Anniversary this year and for many more. It is nice to do the right thing. John
Thank you, John, and, yes, it is.
Beautiful! Be happy! Love to the whole family 🙂
What a beautiful story Mitch! My wife and I just celebrated our 30th in May. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! My God continue to be the cord, that forever binds your hearts together!
Likewise, my friend. And a happy belated anniversary to you!
Beautiful Mitch and sharing from the heart. Happy Anniversary! Isn’t it amazing how God places two together. The old saying goes something like opposites attract. I guess like a magnet. I also see how conflicts can easily arise. BUT – marriage is working things out and communicating – remembering the commitment and sticking to it. I also realize there are times that a relationship needs to end – but at least an effort was made to resolve it.
Just wonderful, Mitch.
Happy Anniversary to the two of you — I have had a rockier path than this, but I know it when I see it, and what you described is what I finally had. Thanks be to God! Keep celebrating & keep on being two! Ann (AECRM)
Thank you, Ann.