Image by Tim Mossholder
On the Death of a Dear Friend
Five Years Ago…
My dear friend and business partner Dennis died amid COVID-19’s widening path of destruction. He was one of the kindest, most ethical people I have ever known. He was also a lawyer.
Of course, the classic lawyer stereotype is a person who’s rich, devious, and maybe even a little evil. I told Dennis about an early episode of the 90s sit-com Grace Under Fire. Facing a nasty divorce, Grace asks a friend if he can put her in touch with a cutthroat attorney.
“Sure,” he replies, “my ex-wife’s lawyer.”
“Great. What’s his number?”
“He doesn’t have a phone. You just draw a pentagram and summon him.”
Dennis chuckled. “Not that you’re remotely like that,” I quickly added. “If anything you’re the opposite.” He smiled and thanked me.
Truthfully? I’d understated it. Not only was Dennis not rich, he had a diehard habit of representing anyone who needed him, often for little or no money. And this wasn’t standard pro bono lawyer stuff, it was the humble tenderheartedness of man of deep faith and humanity; he was also addicted to doing volunteer work for his church and community.
In other words, as evil lawyers go, he was a complete failure.
Not That That Made Him Immune…
…to the mysteries of mortality. Dennis was secretary-treasurer of my production company, and was supposed to drop off some tax docs. Instead, he sent me a terse email: “Heading to ER.”
“Oh, no!” I replied. “Praying!” But for whom. A family member? His wife and family were also dear to us.
Two days later, his daughter texted, “Dad left some tax docs for you. He has COVID.” She added me to their group text. The next morning, she said he was facing probable last-resort ventilation. Then he took a turn for the better. But later that night, another daughter posted, “Saying our goodbyes.” Trudy and I went to bed with our hearts breaking. For his family. For ourselves. For the many who knew and loved him.
“He’s gone,” the final update read.
On a frigid Valentine’s Day eve, seventy or more people gathered in the snow for a candlelight vigil in front of his house. Why? To show our love for his family, certainly. But also to show our gratitude for the person Dennis was.
Sorry, make that is. Because now, whenever I want to summon Dennis’s memory, I don’t need a phone. I just draw a pair of wings.
Buon viaggio. Dennis.
🧡
What a nice tribute to your friend.
What a sweet tender tribute. I love the entire thing ❤️
🧡
What a beautifully written tribute, Mitch. So sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
May he rest in peace
🧡
You are blessed to have had such a fine and great friend, I don’t doubt that he considered you the same. He will always live on in your heart
Thank you, Katie.
Sorry you lost your friend! Covid took my husband, too. I see him in the crimson red cardinals that visit my yard each day. Have a happy day.
I’m so sorry to hear that. Wishing you the same. 🙏
Thank you for sharing, Mitch. I’m sorry for your loss. I had a brother-in-law die of COVID. My sister went through a difficult time but her faith sustained her.
🧡
I’m sorry for your loss, Mitch.
Your mention of the lawyer evil stereotype reminded me of Charles Dickens. Apparently, none of the lawyers in his books are sympathetic (which some people think might go back to his first adulthood job as a lawyer’s clerk).
Beautiful memory. Fully agree.
What a loss, to his family, friends and society in general. A beautiful memorial to a good and decent man, the kind of person we should all aspire to be. He lived his life well. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
My privilege, Lynn.
What a beautiful, heartfelt tribute, Mitch. It’s clear that the loss of your friend, Dennis, continues to echo the depth of your love for him and the quality of your friendship. I’m so glad you can contact him whenever you need him.
Thank you, Gail. 🧡
A wonderful tribute, Mitch. I look forward to meeting Dennis in heaven!
🧡
We miss them, don’t we—those who have gone ahead of us, those gone too soon. Memory of them is a blessing but it is also a new tenderness in a heart that is still sore to the touch, a soreness that may never completely heal. Your friendship with Dennis is clearly something you still carry with you, but it also still carries you—as all the best friendships do.
When I preached at the funeral of a friend and colleague last week I included this snippet of one of my favorite Carrie Newcomer songs:
“Let it go my love my truest
Let is sail on silver wings
Life’s a twinkling and that’s for certain
But it’s such a fine thing
There’s a gathering of spirits
There’s a festival of friends
And we’ll take up where we left off
When we all meet again.”
Peace to your heart, my friend. We’ll take up where we left off when we all meet again.
Amen, and thank you, Steve. 🙏
What a beautiful remembrance. Sending you prayers, brother.
Thank you, Scott.
What a beautiful tribute. God bless you all.
Thank you, Frank. 🧡
I don’t want to forget that, as a tribute, this is really well-written. Words and passages overlap with meaning, keeping everything impressively together. Mainly, though, I want to share sorrow in the loss of your friend. To have been such a person and to have known such a person. Such honor and such loss. I am reminded of all those I lost through COVID and the two I lost as friends because they would not believe there was such a destructive disease. But memory and heaven–certainly two powerful places in which your friend resides.
Thank you for the kind words, and condolences on your own losses, Christopher.
Some wise person said, “Death ends a life. It doesn’t end a relationship.” Your relationship with your friend Dennis will continue for as long as you choose to hold it together. Seen this way, he continues to live in your heart.
🧡
😢let us pray there will be no more COVID
Amen to that.
A touching tribute to your friend, may his soul rest in lucid peace! Holding you all in prayer and love.
Thank you, Renate.
So sorry for your loss. Beautiful words about your friend.
Thank you, Doval.
Dennis sounds like a truly awesome guy. Thank you for giving us this glimpse at his life. I need some examples like his to level out my stereotypes of lawyers.
Beautiful tribute. A life well lived.
Thank you, Gerry.
It’s difficult to lose good friends. There’s always a big hole left in your life when they’re no longer physically available to laugh with, have long phone calls with, and share your deepest secrets with. Even though that was a few years ago, Dennis is still a strong memory for you. This was a heartfelt tribute that I know he heard as you were writing it, Mitch.
🧡
This is so beautiful
🧡
a lovely tribute
🧡
I’m sorry you lost a beloved friend in such a cruel way. You say “is” so he lives on.
This was sad to read but I also felt gratitude and peace, it’s the way you honor him.
Thank you, Iba.
😑
What a beautiful and moving tribute to Dennis. You really captured the kind of man he was. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Daisy.
Sorry to hear about your friend’s passing. COVID touched us all in some way. 🙏🏾It seems like you all had a lasting bond. Cherish the memories.
Thank you, Nikki.
You’re welcome 😊🙏🏾
One of my roommates also got it. Pulmonary embolism as a result of Covid. And the illness itself wasn’t even that severe. She wasn’t even 40 years old.
🧡
So sorry for the loss of your friend, Mitch.
Art
Thank you, Art.
Sending love and strength x
🧡
I’m so sorry, Mitch! I do remember your original post about this. Losing a dear friend is so hard….may God grant you peace in your grief.
Thank you, Ann. 🧡
So sorry, friend!
Thank you, Wenda❣
🤗
You made me wish I had known Dennis. His loss will always be deeply felt by those of you who did know him. I faced the death of my dear friend 10 years ago and will always feel the lump in my throat when I think of her. But it speaks of their character and love, and that’s a very good thing. Thank you for stirring some special memories for me, Mitch.
My privilege, Patty.
Heart-wrenching. Thanks for sharing and adding a bit of humor to it all.
My privilege, Rainer.
Thank you for sharing about your friend
My honor to do so.
So sad, Mitch.
A beautiful tribute, Mitch, filled with love, friendship, appreciation and also a sparkle of humour. Here’s to a failed lawyer and a great person.
Thank you, Ab.
I’m so sorry for your loss. The pain seems to linger on but so does the memory of a true friend.