Due to the growing pandemic, most public gatherings in our area are cancelled. The public is making a run on local markets in preparation to stay at home. Toilet paper was the first thing to go! It all feels kind of primitive. Here’s my personal report:
Great sick-storm building. Tribe Healer say much cave and hut dweller maybe-sick. Big Spirit angry? (Probably Zug and his stupid boasting.) So we stay away from other maybe-sick tribe people. We stay in cave where nice and cozy. We make shadow pictures on wall, laugh much, pop roasted grubs on fire–my favorite!
But Neema complain she have no meadow grass for to wipe bottom-place-that-follow-her-wherever-she-go. She very clean. Much trouble. But look and smell better than me.
So I put on mammoth fur and go to Great Meadow where is much food and herb. It crazy there! I never see so many tribe people, not just man-warrior, but many feisty woman-warrior, too! All pushing woven basket, gathering small frozen animal to eat later. Meadow grass all gone!
I return to cave with no meadow grass. Neema not happy. So this morning when Big Light appear, I put on mammoth fur and climb to top of Tall Rock. From there I can see Great Meadow. I see more meadow grass–but not much! So I drink hot jitter-weed juice, grab spear and go!
I come to Big Meadow. So much crazy tribe people! All grabbing meadow grass for to wipe bottom-place-that-follow-them-wherever-they-go. Still, I find three bundle and put in my pushing-basket. Then I shake spear, and say, “These mine!” Others say, “Good. Those yours!” We smile. Tribe people not so bad.
I bring home meadow grass and drop on cave floor. Neema make cute face. I like that face. Maybe tonight I get lucky.
I am rolling-on-floor-laughing-my-bottom-place-that-follow-me-wherever-I-go off!!
When I was younger and sillier, I would count the number of terms people had for that part of the anatomy, from the crude to the polite, to the clinical. There are a LOT, but this has to be my favorite.
LOL! Never thought to keep track, but yes! 😀
I love “Lady Bits” but agree that “bottom-place-that-follow-her-wherever-she-go” is the best I’ve heard!
Mine, too. Isn’t Mitch awesome?!
My youngest son just sent me a cartoon of Beavis and Butthead with a couple of girls swooning all over them. The caption reads: ‘When you tell chicks you have TP for their …’ ~ I will leave the two syllable word to the imagination. 😀
Me. Too! Wipin’ my eyes!
Mitch, what I learned from all this COVID-19 era is that the big bucks in business are toilet paper, hand sanitizer,rubbing alcohol,canned goods,bleach,disinfectant wipes, and paper towels. If I ever do invest in the stock market,I might buy some shares with the Clorox,Purell,etc. And to think the cavemen probably just used leaves to do their business and it becomes compost and natura lfertilizer for good old Mother Earth. Next time,just be at the door before the store opens and just pretend that it is Black Friday.Have a nice day!
Thanks, Josie. You too!
Yesterday I went to do my usual weekly shopping….no TP at three stores. My husband was at the store by 7:00 this morning, but it was already gone and had been restocked the night before! Crazy, huh?
Same situation here. I called our local Kroger at 6 am, and they said, “Yes. But get over here now!”
Great story, though! 😂
My husband said he was going to the grocery store to buy his rye bread. He’s all out of rye bread, and that’s the only kind he eats. He typically does the shopping, because he enjoys it and I don’t. But my husband is 71, he has mild COPD, and lately his cough has been worse. So I told him that I will go to the store for his rye bread.
I am a little scared…
Reblogged this on A Blog About Healing From PTSD and commented:
ROFLMBPTFMWIGO!
(Read the first comment on Mitch’s hilarious post to decode. 😊)
LOL! Too funny! Happy hunting! Don’t forget to paint a picture of your exploits on the cave wall.
;>)
I came home with beer… That put smile on my hubby’s face 😂
Mmm. Beer nice!
😀 and chocolate for me 😋
That’s the spirit!
Or the beer…😉
😀
Many thanks for this, Mitch! Levity (and clearheadedness). What we need most.
Oh Mitch, this is soooo funny, thank you! Tomorrow I’m going out with my pushing basket to collect dock leaves. 😀
Haha. All of this just made my Saturday afternoon! Thank you!
Laughing….Thank you Mitch!
Still laughing. Thanks. I needed a good laugh today.
Laughter is good medicine, and you’re helping us all stay healthy. Thanks, Mitch!
Oh, my . . . .
Watch out for that poison ivy! Ohhh… that would open up a whole other case of problems.
No toilet paper in our Supermarket yesterday. Lady cashiers very annoyed. Say deliveries are being made and toilet rolls disappear within 15. Minutes. Think must be lots of poorly people in our town or they all being sold online for twice the price. It is an ill wind that blows nobody good. Hope the Big Chief in sky deals with them as children of Mammon. Best wishes from down town U.K.
went out yesterday … big city … big problem… none to be found … came back to my small town… went to my dollar store half a mile from my house … and they had some … I think our town is made of wonderful people … they all just took ONE …. including me!!!!
p.s. Not to say that I am wonderful … but that there was some positive peer pressure 🙂
;>)
surely a candidate for the Thurber Prize!
Ooo, I tell Neema. Maybe that impress her.
Very Very cute!! Thanks for the laughter! 😁
Love it Mitch. Can’t find toilet paper around here either or so I understand. I bought mine a week ago with no problem, so I guess my timing was spot on. But the frozen organic bread was almost all gone. I grabbed a couple of loaves and that will do me for a the next month probably. I’m not into hoarding and don’t understand why people want enough toilet paper to last them for the next half year. I guess they are not putting a limit of 2 pkgs per customer and it’s still running out. I’ll bet there’s a lot of leaves out there, though. 🙂
By today our local markets started limiting purchases. The deluge caught them off guard at first. So, yeah, leaves it is! ;>)
Meadow grass make man luck … me go meadow now …
Oh, my goodness… I’m cracking up here! You are hilarious! Thank you for this much needed comic relief, Mitch! You da best! 🙂
Aw, thanks, Lynn.
ROFL🤣🤣🤣🙏🙏🙏
Thank you! I needed that. Boy, did I need that. No meadow grass to be found anywhere…
Gotta keep Neema happy! Meadow grass is much better than pine cone with little burrs.
;>) Those good for constipation.
I never do the Black Friday craziness so this was the craziest I’ve seen. Glad I picked up a 20 pack of tp before it all began. Even so, you still need milk and bread. It’s like a big snowstorm is coming and we know it days in advance. Even my friend who works at the fabric store said it was crazy there too. People stocking up with supplies to eat and to put together in case we can’t come out of the caves until summer. God bless!
You too, Nancy.
I work at Walmart. Watching the hoarders has been surreal.
YOU deserve a medal! I can’t even BEGIN to imagine!
Never thought corona virus could do this. Simply hilarious. Love the creativity to get the point across. You’re amazing Mitch.
Aw, thanks, Benj.
You made me smile. 🙂
Yikes still frozen ground here. No leaves or grasses in the forests nor Meadows. Bummer!!
This is hilarious – loved it! You can’t even get TP from Amazon! 🧻🧻😬
Unthinkable!
Very funny, we need lots and lots of funny. Thank you Mitch! 😆
Hahahaha!!!
Thanks for the laugh, Mitch! I needed this! (As of yesterday, our local store still had toilet paper, but for today, who knows? Every time someone on television suggests a total lock down, the hoarding steps up another notch. You would think someone would figure out the connection……)
I enjoyed this so much! Thank you for your humor and creativity.
It make me happy too. ;>)
A hero in our virtual midst! 🙂
.No more meadow grass. Neema ugly face. No fresh as a daisy. Sleep alone on sandstone tonight. (Good stuff, like the perspective. Sometimes we are such drooling stone age dolts.)
What on God’s green earth started this TP panic anyway? I don’t get it. Well, let’s all keep laughing;
It does help.
the power of story… ;-)!
Superbly funny. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, TDG.
You’re welcome!
thank you mitchteemley
great blog
Thank you.
If meadow grass ever run out, running water nearby to use. And reusable cloth on branch to dry off with.
;>)
That is so funny!
Hilarious!!
omigoodness. This is wonderfully hilarious!
LOL I need some hot jittery weed juice lol
You… mighty hunter… can hold talking-stick around campfire…
;>) Good. I have much story to tell.
Entirely appropriate metaphorically. Yes, it’s getting primitive out there. Let’s hope it doesn’t get too primitive.
Indeed!
You’ve outdone yourself! Reblogging to my readers at sister site Poetic Justice
I’m flattered, Ana.
😊
Neema is pleased