Today is our 40th Engagement Anniversary. And so, exactly five years ago today, my wife and I celebrated it, as we always do, with a candle-lit dinner and a bottle of wine. Only this time we ate at the world’s most exclusive eatery: our home. Because the lockdown had begun, and every restaurant in America was closed.
You may have caught the titular reference to Márquez’s novel Love in the Time of Cholera. Why? Well, for one thing: it was published in 1985, the year we got engaged (and got married). And for another, it’s a story of love struggling against external and internal challenges.
It’s about imperfect people learning to love better.
That’s us. Or should I say Us? Because a new person, Us, came into being the day we got engaged. And we’ve fought to keep Us alive and in-love against all kinds of external and internal challenges ever since. The COVID pandemic being just one of them.
So we dined in. Very in. And it turned out to be one of our most memorable anniversary outings (or should I say innings?). Because facing challenges together, and coming out of them together, has always made Us stronger.
Now I understand why my parents reminisced more about the hard days of their marriage than the easy ones. Those were the days their love grew stronger.
It’s not just romantic love that grows in times like 2020 — and 2025. We all belong to a huge Us that is struggling to love, rather than die and be replaced by a bunch of detached Me’s. Will we learn how to love each other better during these hard days? Will we come out stronger?
It’s up to Us.
This is a beautiful post. I love your “dining in” experience and you are to be commended for 40 years of commitment. Few marriages achieve that anymore. Happy Anniversary!
Thank you, Jean!
🙏♥️🐈⬛
Mitch, happy 40th engagement anniversary to you and your beautiful wife. Your words hit straight to the heart and soul; as always.
It’s up to US.
It truly is in the hard and challenging times that strength can be ‘born’, renewed, and made stronger. I’m so happy for the two of you. I’m happy for all of us because we have the privilege of learning from you!
God bless you, dear friend!
And God bless you, dear Karla!
Happy Engagement Anniversary! “Struggling” to love captures the lay of the (big Us) land. Who thought there could be an even bigger global threat than a world-wide pandemic?
Thank you, Carol.
Congratulations 🎉 ‘us’ is such a valuable investment. All the best for the years ahead 💟🙏
Thank you, Morag.
Happy anniversary, Mitch!
Thank you, Wynne!
happy engagement anniversary! and, while i remember my wedding day, i can’t for certain pinpoint my engagement date. so, good on you! <3 … staying in again this year?
Thank you, Pink. And, yes, but only because it’s a weeknight. We’ll be going out on the weekend.
i’m glad you didn’t have to wait a life time for your Fermina Daza Mitch. Mike
Me too, Mike. ;>)
Beautifully stated. The times that strengthen our love aren’t the easy times. I love the concept of Us. Happy anniversary!
Thank you, Lynn!
I just love this post for some genuine reasons.. reading about how hard days play an important role in a successful marriage makes it all worthy of reading …💯✨ Also loved the reference to “Love in the times of Cholera”, one of my favourite novels. 😍🩷
I’m so glad it spoke to you, Shreya.
i so love your words….
(which i know i’ve said before, and will likely say again).
You’re the only man i’ve ever known, apart from my beloved father, who
remembered (much less Celebrates) the Engagement Anniversary. My parents’ engagement took place in March as well — but I can’t recall the day, and neither is here anymore to ask. It may well have been the 18th. Wishing you and Trudi much love always….
Thank you so much, my Anonymous friend. I have several thoughts who this might be, but don’t want to guess wrong.
This is so true Mitch. We wouldn’t want to repeat the hard years, but we wouldn’t trade them for anything. That’s what has made Us better together and for each other.
Congrats on your 40th engagement anniversary, Mitch and Trudy! 🙂
Thank you, Nancy!
Happy Engagement Anniversary! Dining in tonight?
It may be up to us, Us and God. God knows that we need His help! 🙏✝️
We do indeed, Gail.
Congratulations on your 40th engagement anniversary. The hard times do cause us to pull together. 😉
Thank you, Hazel.
You’re welcome Mitch!
Happy Engagement Anniversary! You and your wife are to be congratulated! 40 years of “US” is a wonderful accomplishment.
Those bad years bring what’s really important into razor sharp focus.
Wonderful post! Enjoy your romantic dinner tonight!
Thank you, Lisa!
I love this so much. Happy Anniversary!
Thank you, Rhonda!
Happy Engagement Anniversary!
Thank you, Meonn!
Congratulations and may you celebrate many, many more!
Thank you, Sandy!
Happy Engagement Anniversary to you and your wife!
Thank you, Nancy!
Most welcome, Mitch. Enjoy!
Bravo I bow to you and your partner, I respect that. And yes that is certainly up to us, because it seems hard to find, when you look around
First of all, Happy Engagement Anniversary, Mitch. And second, I agree from experience. If we make it through the difficult times together, the bond grows much stronger. Plus they make us enjoy the good days even more.
Very true, Erika.
Happy Ruby Anniversary Mitch!
Thank you, Steve!
Molto belle le tue parole quando l’umanità invece di “io d’ora’ “noi” saremo davanti al vero cambiamento dell’umanità 🐈⬛♥️
Amen, Paola.
Wow. You packed a good dose of wisdom into this post, Mitch. You are so right: we are better people for slogging through the struggles together. It takes commitment, perseverance, grit, a desire to understand and not just be understood, and a delight in bringing joy to the other–for starters. I wonder what our country, our world, would look like if we expressed love like that among the universal US? Thank you for making us think, Mitch!
My privilege, dear friend, and right you are.
Lovely perspective. Congratulations ❤️
Thank you, Xen (is that what you go by?).
That’s perfect. Some people call me EC from my old account but Xen seems appropriate here 🙂
This is so inspiring! Happy engagement anniversary 🥂
Thank you, Kitriona.
I hope we can. I hope we will. *Sighs* I still believe LOVE will overcome HATE and be the one standing in the end.
<3
Those were really the hard times, but I still had my family there
That counts for a lot.
a special day for many reasons
I did spot the Marquez title reference and it drew me in like a magnet.
I love that you celebrate the anniversary of your engagement. 💐🥂🍾💖
This is a beautiful post, Mitch. Also, so deep!
Happy engagement anniversary! 🎉
Thank you, Iman.
Thank you Mitch. I’m new to your blog. I appreciate your thoughts.
My privilege, Fitz, and good to meet you.
This is beautiful it became traditional for me and my mum to do movie nights when she unfortunately got severely unwell during those days but it got us closer than ever and caring for her made it much more personal and those were some of the best years of my life between 2017-2023 mostly 2020-2023 because although lockdown was hard but I had her by my side ❤️
<3
What a beautiful post! Happy engagement anniversary Mitch!
very good👍⭐⭐⭐
Exceptional write up, or shall I say inception-al? 😇 Enjoyed reading it, thank you.
Beautiful by all means
Sad thing about those COVID shut-downs is that while they did bring some people together, they tore others apart. Sometimes, too much togetherness isn’t a good thing.
Ah, blessings to you both, Mitch! And a very Happy Anniversary! Cher xoxoxo
Congratulations on 40 years. We just celebrated 50 and can hardly believe it. Where did those years go? Aren’t we still those lovely young people setting off to live our life together? Well, we are still living our life together, loving and shaking our heads at some of our shenanigans. Wishing you and your beloved many more years of shenanigans.
https://partners.getresponse.com/#:~:text=Copy-,link,-ORThis is not a free advertising space.
Congratulations on your 40th! Wish you many, many more.
We celebrated our 50th on the 15th.
Thank you, Chaya. And congratulations on your 50th!
Thank you, Mitch.
This was such a beautifully reflective piece.
The way you describe ‘Us’ as something that had to be fought for, something that wasn’t just given but built over time… wow ❤️
Makes me wonder, how many of us are truly willing to keep love alive when it stops feeling easy? Cz maybe that’s the real difference between love that lasts and love that fades. This perspective is going to stay with me for a long time.
Loved reading this. 🥂❤️
I’m so glad it spoke to you, Ajita.
Happy Engagement Anniversary to you and your wife. ❤️
Thank you.
I love that you celebrate your “engagement anniversary”! That is when “us” would have started. Beautiful!
Thank you, Peggy!
Celebrating being together is a beautiful thing
Wish you many many years of this togetherness and understanding 🎉🎉Best wishes 🌺🌺
Thank you so much, Lalita.
Great opportunity to celebrate your victories.
God bless you both
Thank you, my friend. Likewise.
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