Photo by Tetyana Kovrina
Thought for the Week: Loss Teaches Us How to Live
“Nothing can truly be taken from us. There is nothing to lose. Inner peace begins when we stop saying, ‘I have lost it,’ and instead say, ‘It has been returned to where it came from.’” ~Epictetus
Loss is painful. Just when we think we’re “getting on with our lives,” loss takes away something we’d deemed essential. And yet it also teaches us (if we let it) that we can live without that thing or person we no longer have–that it was never really ours to begin with. Even our greatest possession, our life, is merely on loan. And so in the end, ironically, it is loss itself that teaches us how to get on with our lives.
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“To look life in the face, and to know it for what it is…at last, to love it for what it is, and then, to put it away.”
~Virginia Woolf“It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”
~Chuck Palahniuk“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.”
~Shannon L. Alder
“Blessed are those who possess nothing, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
~Matthew 5:3
As I lose more health, much earlier than I’d expected (the women in my motherline were long-lived!), life becomes smaller but somehow richer. I’m more aware of God’s blessings, especially the small ones I took for granted. Yes, I’m needing to “give up” things, but it’s amazingly okay. I bask in the hope of heaven!
What a beautiful perspective, Joy, and a guidepost for the rest of us. 🧡
Thought-provoking reflections and quotes. Thanks, Mitch! 🙂
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So long as we love and remember those who have passed away, they will aways be with us.
A deeply moving and comforting reflection. Your words remind us that loss, while painful, can deepen our gratitude, strengthen our resilience, and help us appreciate the true value of each moment. A thoughtful message of hope and inner peace. 💙
Thank you, Safia.
Amen… Sometimes it takes a lifetime to learn this
https://youtu.be/KHbkrHwy7I0?list=RDKHbkrHwy7I0
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Loss changes us, but it also teaches us to hold life with gratitude rather than attachment. Sometimes, letting go is the beginning of living more deeply.
Very true, Saima.
Beautiful piece. It made me reflect on a lot of things. Thank you for sharing.
My privilege, Joseph.
Where would we be if we never experienced these things? It’s not something I want to imagine.
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Mitch, Your reflection made me stop and think about how each loss in my life changed the way I understood the next one. Looking back, I can almost trace my life through the people I’ve loved and lost, and how each one slowly reshaped my understanding of grief.
The first person I remember losing was my grandparents’ neighbor, Tom. I attended his funeral as a very young boy, and it was the first time someone explained death to me in a way I could begin to understand.
The next loss was far more devastating. It was my dad’s best friend, and mine too—a man everyone called Maynord. He was an older farmer who spent nearly every Friday and Saturday night with us at horse sales. He was my buddy.
I remember the day he died as clearly as if it were yesterday. A dog he had given me came to our doorstep and began howling. Moments later, the telephone rang. It was my mother telling me that my dad had left his barbershop and was racing to Maynord and his wife’s home. In the background, I could hear the ambulance siren. I screamed.
The next several days were absolute hell for an eight-year-old boy. I bargained with God endlessly. “Bring him back and take me instead. Bring him back and I’ll be better. Bring him back and I’ll do whatever You want.” Then I pleaded for just one more conversation, one more chance to hear his voice. My young mind searched for any way possible to reach him again.
The next great loss came when my grandmother died. I was eleven years old and beginning to realize I was different. While the other boys around me were becoming interested in girls, I found myself attracted to other boys. I didn’t understand it, and everything I heard at church convinced me that I was being punished. I believed God had taken my grandmother because of who I was.
That belief haunted me. I would have given anything to be different. I prayed constantly, tried to change my thoughts, my feelings—everything about myself—but nothing changed. Then an uncle, whom I believed was also gay, was killed in an automobile accident. My family was devastated. To my young mind, it felt like another warning, another sign that confirmed my fears.
Those were the messages I believed I was receiving as a child. It took many years, and much of my young adulthood, to untangle those beliefs and separate fear from faith. Eventually, I came to understand that what I had been experiencing wasn’t God’s condemnation. It was simply life.
Looking back now, I realize each loss taught me something different. Every person I lost left behind a lesson I couldn’t see at the time. As painful as those experiences were, they slowly taught me not only how to grieve, but also how to keep living while carrying the love and memories of those who were gone. I think that’s very much what your reflection is saying. We never really stop loving those we’ve lost—we simply learn to carry them with us in a different way.
Thank you for sharing these deeply moving rite of passage stories here, Ben. 🧡
Loss is part of life as life would be nothing without death.
Nice post and reflection🤓
Thank you, Ortensia.
Good words at this time; my wife’s brother unexpectedly passed away two weeks ago.
I’m so sorry to hear that, Keith. 🙏
Thank you, Mitch; I appreciate that.
We are certainly learning this lesson. I’m more of the mind, that the losses cause us to move in 1 of 2 ways. We become sad, angry, bitter. (Thinking of Jonah). OR we become more grateful. Grateful for what we had, seeing it in a different light, grateful for what is left, may we treat it all gently and kindly and with appreciation.
You are right, it is all on loan.
Good thoughts! Thank you!
My pleasure, Peach.