Why didn’t I think of this one? I went to a singles bar exactly once when I was in my late 20s, instantly realized I didn’t know how to play the game, and left. But it could have been worse. Here are some of…
The Least Romantic Pick-Up Lines Ever
- “Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.” Translation: “I don’t care what’s under your hood; I’m only interested in your chassis.”
- “Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?” Translation: “Hello, I’m God’s gift to women.”
- “If I could rewrite the alphabet, I’d put U next to I.” First of all, it should be “me,” not “I.” Although “me” isn’t part of the alphabet. Just as U shouldn’t be part of his life.
- “Is your father a terrorist? Because you’re the bomb.” Suggested response: Say, “Boom!” and walk away.
- “Baby, you must be a broom, ’cause you just swept me off my feet.” Suggested response: “Blow-off, dust bunny!”
- “You can be my auto-correct, and I’ll be your mistake.” He doesn’t mean it. He’ll never change.
- “The more I drink, the prettier you get.” Translation: He’s plastered, and you’re the only other person in the bar.” Romance at its finest.
- “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you everyone else disappears.” Cheese Award: Bronze
- “Can I tie your shoes? I don’t want you falling for anyone else.” Cheese Award: Silver
- “What time do you have to be back in heaven?” Cheese Award: Gold
- “I’m trying so hard not to kiss you right now.” Suggested response: “I’m sorry. Let me help.” Leave.
- “Did we take a class together? No? Because I could’ve sworn you and I had chemistry.” OK, this might actually work if he/she is a science major; try following up with a series of lab experiments.
- “If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.” Might work if they’re a math major.
- “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?” Way too arrogant! Unless it’s said with a charmingly self-mocking smile.
- “On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a nine. I’m the one you need.” Do you really want to date a clinical narcissist who thinks you’re “incomplete” without them?
- “I may not be what you want, but I am what you need.” File a restraining order. Now.
Then again, all of these are old-school. What will pick-lines of the future sound like? How about, “So, what’s a nice AI-powered humanoid like you doing in a place like this?”
Ewww!🤢
;>)
As chatty as I am, I have never even used a slight variation of any of those lines 😆😆 cringe stuff right there, Micth.
;>)
I just read one of these to my cat and he threw up
lol Good thing you only read one.
😆
Correct response to the acute angle one: “And you’re obtuse.”
Hah! Perfect, BoB!
🤣🤣🤣
As pity as my witness, those are terrible. 😂
;>)
Loved these, Mitch.
Thanks, John. ;>)
Yikes I actually remember following for the “chemistry” and told him no, I was never in Chemistry. I was shy and it wouldn’t have worked anyway.
;>)
This cracked me up, Mitch. The translations and “suggested responses” are doing all the heavy lifting here—half roast, half public service announcement. Amazing how every one of these lines manages to be both confident and catastrophically bad at the same time. Thanks for the laugh.
👍 “Half roast, half public service announcement.” ;>)
YUCK! 🤮😵💫😱☠️😝 But thanks for the laughs, Mitch. 🤣
;>) My pleasure, Nancy.
I love the Cheese Awards!
I’m just glad I am not dating. I have actually heard a couple of these. ugh…
;>)
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When I interviewed my husband for a feature article in the Chicago Tribune, I told him I had so much information on him, I could write a book. He responded that I should stick around so I could be a chapter.
Only one chapter? Hmm…
;>)
Good suggested responses. 😉
;>)
People actually use these lines?! Barf 🤮
😆
Hilarious!
When I read stuff that men say, I wonder why women continue to let them rule the world.
;>D
Mitch, you’re probably the only one who could carry some of these off. . .
;>)
haha, some classics in there for sure!
Put a smile on this face! 😊
No translation needed: I had a guy walk up and say, “You have really great tits.” I left the club.
This one is fun, and I kind of want to see it used today. But only among friends who enjoy teasing each other. Otherwise, a lot of offence could be taken. 🤓
‘So, what’s a nice AI-powered humanoid like you doing in a place like this?’
“Do you believe in love at first sight?”
“No.”
“Great. We agree on something already.” 😂
I actually like this one and think it would make me smile or even laugh: “Did we take a class together? No? Because I could’ve sworn you and I had chemistry.” But the others you shared would make me run away! 😜