We live in a confusing world. But fortunately there are people who are willing to explain it to us. Most of them are under age ten.
When my daughter Amanda was 4 1/2, she drew the above illustration of American pioneer life. Her sister Beth, age 3, asked her why the pioneer girl was crying and why there were spiders in the covered wagon. Mandy patiently explained that the pioneer girl was crying because, “In those days all they had were spiders for pets.”
Where do kids get these things?
Here are a few other real children’s explanations:
Pregnancy: “That’s what happens when you share your toothbrush. I’m never sharing my toothbrush. Ever!”
Puberty: “During puberty a boy says goodbye to his childhood and enters adultery.”
The difference between Mommies and Daddies: “Mommies don’t have a penis, they have a brain.” ~Amber, 3
The Lord’s Prayer (as reported by their Sunday School teacher):
“Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.” (Reece, 3)
“Forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.” (Evan, 4)
“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email.” (Caitlin, 3)
The 9th Commandment: “Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor’s wife.” ~Susie
Biology
The End
Ha ha! Yes, children are so wise. And they are fabulous at presenting complicated issues in a way that even I can understand. At least most 🙂
Love it. Would appreciate more quotes from kids in future blogs.
This is so funny, but true. Our youngest child was born very close to Christmas and still had the stub of an umbilical cord on her belly when we brought her home. We named her Joy. As we worshipped using old Christmas music, our middle child exclaimed, “The song we sang today was all about Joy full of chord. (instead of joyful accord.)
;>)
😁
My sis used to sing “God and cinders reconciled.”
;>)
“Forgive us our trash baskets.”
Lol, this is far more profound than little Evan realizes!! hahahahaha
Indeed.
I’m laughing so hard my eyes teared up!
Cute, cute, cute! Thanks for sharing these smiles today, Mitch.
My pleasure, Kellye.
Don’t take the covers off your neighbors wife!…..Gotta love it!
‘Cuz she might get cold.
😀 😀 😀
You have to love kids. These are all brilliant.
Wonderful post , we say in our language(Armenian)” you can get a smart advice from a child’s mind.
;>)
So much to love here Mitch. Thanks for the giggles! 🥰
My pleasure, Vicki.
I love these! “Forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.” – I think there’s more truth here than we realize. Thanks for the chuckle!
Yes, that’s actually a pretty effective metaphor, isn’t it?
It’s good that children are allowed to hear within their own context and we can learn something. As adults we are shamed and scolded if we don’t understand: A nuclear physicist is not pleased while explaining the results of the Bikini Atoll nuclear bomb tests when someone in the audience thinks it’s about a bikini.
Love it!!
Where can I get one of those plant cells Mitch? Terrific!
;>)
From the mouths of babes . . .
Kids get it
Haha! Thanks for the feed Mitch. whatever kids say, it’s usually not something you’d expect. And often, like this post, hilarious; especially The Lord’s Prayer.
Yep.
As I recall, my sister and I managed to turn the “Star Spangled Banner” into a song about little old ladies with speckled hair (I’m no longer quite sure how we did it)… 🤣
;>)
Kids and laughter are good medicine! Loved it!!! 🤣
They are indeed. Good to hear from you, Dori!
Thank you, Mitch… Not sure how it got fixed, I must have finally tweeked the right thing and finally I’m not Anonymous anymore! 😅
Aha, so I’ve been hearing from you without knowing it!
These are classics, Mitch! I giggled all the way through! I’m partial to your daughter’s drawing. I was obsessed with covered wagons (I kinda still am). After a trip to Colorado when I was 8, I asked my Dad what happened to the family wagon that made us break down in humid MO…in the middle of nowhere…away from mountains. I asked if the family had died of malaria, or broke a wagon wheel, or got bit by snakes and had to stop. When I was teaching in Republic (a suburb of Springfield), a 2nd grader asked me, “If I move to Springfield does this change in the anthem?” (And to the Republic for which it stands…). Everyone laughed, but I thought it a valid question since he learned it AT Republic and repeated it there every morning! I just love kids–if you want honesty, ask a kid, right, Mitch? Thank you for sharing! Your posts always make me smile and learn! 💛
So glad it made you giggle, Karla! I’m picturing Bart Simpson pledging to the flag of the United States of America “…and to Springfield for which it stands…”
Tee hee! Mitch! I didn’t even think of that one! I love giggling. It’s always so good to see you, dear friend!
“Mommies don’t have a penis, they have a brain.” Amber had it all figured out by the time she was three. I know lots of guys deep into their adulthood who still don’t get this simple fact.
;>)
and some kids have two mommies or two daddies. ‘an it harm none…it works out. You’re welcome 😉
The tombstone kid is vey insightful-and hilarious, and I like Amanda’s sweet interpretation of her stagecoach art work. Thanks for sharing these chuckles, Mitch. 🙂
My pleasure, Nancy.
Hope you don’t mind, but I had to share on Facebook
Of course, Rocky.
I absolutely LOVE these!!!! We need more of these … more explanations from those who truly understand the world!!! Thanks, Mitch!
My pleasure, Jill!
Aww Mitch, those were fantastic and hilarious. I honestly laughed out loud at each one of them, though I admit to almost filling up at the sad little flower in its cell. I love Amanda’s drawing. Children’s art is amazing and I’ve kept all of our daughter’s childhood drawings. It’s quite a collection. 🙂
Every time you post blog Mitch! There is deep msg in it. 😊👍🏻
Thank you, Ramani.
Wonderful! Thank you, Mitch.
My pleasure, Renee!
I love hearing/reading about children’s takes on things. (When I was very young, I was quite sure Heaven was God’s wife. Probably because I heard “God in heaven” as “God and Heaven.)
;>) I had a college student named Heaven some years back. And, yeah, I’m pretty sure she wasn’t God’s wife.
Oh, these are so good!
Kids still say the darnedest things. My husband and I were waiting for our son-in-law to bail us out from under a dead car battery when we both had a good laugh over these quotes. Thanks for lightening the mood for us. God bless, Mitch!
Happy to lighten a frustrating moment, Nancy!
Apparently, I shared my toothpaste twice 🙂
;>)
Love it! Out of the mouth of babes, right?
Exactly, Jennie. And you would know!
Yes!
Rip, omg! 🥴