Photo by Jorg Angeli
Give and You Will Receive?
What I Really Want From Others
It’s embarrassing to admit, but what I really want from others is their attention. I want to be understood and appreciated. Why? Because to Little Mitch (my inner child), that means I’m being loved and accepted. And that’s what I really want. So, how do I get it?
Learn to Think in Reverse
Over and over again, Jesus tells us to give what we want. Why? Because the only thing of real value we have to give is the thing we want. The core thing, not “I want a Philly cheesesteak,” but the thing I really want. That. That’s what we’re to give. In other words, we need to learn to think in reverse.
We think, “If they earn my attention, I’ll give it to them.” But Jesus says, “No, give it first.” We think, “If they stop being my enemy, I’ll love them.” But Jesus says, “No, love them first.” Not only does he insist on this, he tells us it’s the very essence of Life with a capital L, the thing that is so desperately missing in our world.
Lean Into It
The first time I tried skiing, the instructor told me to lean forward. But every nerve in my body told me to lean backward. Because, duh, I wanted to ski down the mountain, not fall down it, thank you! So I leaned backward. And again and again I fell backward. I spent an entire day spontaneously sitting down in various places on the mountain. Still, I thought, “Once I’m a skier I’ll be able to lean forward.” “Nope,” the instructor said, “lean forward and then you’ll be a skier.” Unfortunately, that was the last time I tried skiing.
But I am gradually learning how to lean into loving others. To give them the attention, appreciation and understanding I crave. True, Little Mitch still murmurs, “Lean backward and make them listen to me.” But I whisper, “Shh, we got this, buddy.” So, although I’m not ready for the master communicator Olympics yet, I’m not sitting down all over the mountain anymore either.Â
Use a Bigger Spoon
There’s a famous two-part illustration you may have heard before, but it bears repeating: In the first part, a vision of hell, people are sitting around a lavish banquet table with spoons attached to their hands. But while their spoons can reach the food, the spoons are too long to reach their mouths. In the second vision, a vision of heaven, the same scene appears, paradoxically. Only this time, the diners have learned…
To feed each other.
“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and still running over, will be poured out into your lap. For the measure you give is the measure you will receive.” ~Luke 6:38
That’s absolutely lovely. In every way. I like that you identified what you really want, and it gives us permission to do the same. I love the scripture and your encouragement to give to others as we have them give to us. 🌈✨
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I’ve often thought about the fact that even as an adult halfway into her thirties I still feel like a child. It’s quite recently I’ve witnessed that little girl inside and her handiwork. She can be quite demanding and opinionated. Lol
I know just what you mean.
I think it’s understandable. If you give love, you’ll receive love; if you give affection, you’ll receive affection. Selfishness often consumes us. An exemplary read for these turbulent times.
Thanks, Manuel.
Oh I love that illustration, I think I’ll put it to good use. Gotta get me some long spoons though.
;>)
Hello you look so familiar how are you doing and where are you from ?
Great piece, my friend. It got me thinking about giving. At my age, seventy-five, I seem to regularly encounter people who express gratitude to me for some good deed I handed them long ago. Often, I don’t remember it, and when I do, I didn’t think of it as some big deal at the time. I suppose when we do unto others…, we don’t realize the impact we have on the lives of people we pass along the way.
Very true.
Love that vision!
Well said, Mitch.
Thanks, Andrew.
You’re welcome.
Great post, Mitch.
Thank you, Mags.
I love the big spoon story!
I love your story. The problem is, I think a lot of people don’t know what they really want. They see wants as material things and don’t realize that the emotional and spiritual things are not only far more important but they are far more satisfying as well. I have always loved to give, even as a child buying Christmas gifts with my saved allowance or buying a little friend a popsicle. But that is easy compared to giving myself, my time, my emotions, my listening ear. Giving is a blessing in disguise, and the more we give, the more we receive even if it’s just in feeling wonderful because we made someone else feel wonderful.
Very true, Diane.
Loved this read Mitch
Thank you, Kristen.
Wonderful post, Mitch. It is a great reminder for the year. However, I am now fixated on the Philly cheese steak. Haven’t had one. in a long time.
;>)
Thinking in reverse is a wonderful idea. Being supportive of others can nurture closer relationships and feels good! 🙂
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This is a reminder that giving attention is a practice, not a reward. Simple, honest, and grounded.
Exactly, AI fied. (I’m afraid I don’t know your name.)
You’re right — I’m Arix Fïen.
I write at AI-fïed, mostly observing the edges between fluency and actual thinking.
Appreciate the post and the nudge.
Thanks, and good to meet you, Arix.
This one is excellent for those who tend to take and indulge.
For those who were on the losing side, no, in my view.
A great philosophy, Mitch. Especially in these troubled times.
Thank you for sharing Mitch. A very valuable reminder. Take care, Julian PS. A very happy new year for 2026
Likewise, Julian.
Actually, leaning forward into love feels risky, but it is the only way to move beyond fear.
Interesting point, Rakesh.
Thanks, Mitch.
Incredible insights, Mitch. Thank you for ‘give-splaining’ me. My love language is affirmation, so I needed this reminder!
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luke 6:36 is missing
I had not heard the illustration. Thanks for sharing it. It’s a good word picture.
My privilege, Donna.
Wonderful illustration: Feed one another. No only is it more effective, but it brings inner joy knowing we are doing what our Lord has asked.
Wonderful illustration, Mitch and a timely reminder for us all!