Source: flutie8211
Thought for the Week
We spend so much of our lives waiting for “the right person.” The right person to marry. The right person to hire us for that career-making job. The right person to make it happen, whatever “it” is.
Many years ago, after diving into a relationship with someone I thought might just be “the one” (she wasn’t), I asked my unattached friend Craig, “What about you? Haven’t found the right person yet?” His answer was not what I expected:
“No. I haven’t been the right person yet.”
That phrase burrowed its way into my brain and still lives there.
So much in life takes longer than we expect, or never happens at all, at least not the way we expect it to. But keep going, keep growing. Because while you’re looking for it, it is looking for you. And it won’t be able to find you until you’re…
The right person.
“To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heavens.” ~Ecclesiastes 3:1
Your thoughts about waiting to find the right person and being the right person got me thinking about my own dumb good luck. When Beloved Spouse and I got married, 50 years ago in June, neither one of us was really the right person for anyone else or for our own selves; we were just so young and inexperienced and not nearly as smart as we thought we were. Somehow over the years we shaped and molded each other, usually gently but sometimes bruising off some sharp edges. And now, thanks be to God and our lucky stars and our innate stubbornness and a lot of love and patience, we have become the right persons—right, each in our own right, and right together. So maybe it’s a matter of deciding to become the right person with the other person who is also willing to become the right person. Right?
Your last sentence is my wife and me to a T, Steve. And congrats on your upcoming 50th!
Yup, that’s us too, Steve, it was 50 years just last Saturday, and you said it well. It wasn’t always easy, and truthfully sometimes still isn’t (this is reality), but it’s been all been good and still is good, better, GREAT…because we are in it together. Looking back, I thank God we never gave up and He never gave up on us. And I’m ever SO thankful for having a husband to share the journey. I know some who have traveled life alone for very long periods ‘before’ finding their life partner and, currently, I know several who feel very alone after losing their spouse of many years. Heartbreaking. Realizing the brevity of life, we cherish every moment we have together, love each other more deeply and express it more frequently than ever before. It really is a beautiful time of life, isn’t it!?!!
Agreed
Amen.
I love that! Thanks for sharing.
My pleasure, Christina.
You had a very wise friend!
I have just finished some tasks on a position I would like to give up, but there seems to be no one else to take on the position. Someone said to me, “if not YOU, then who?” when I lamented the position. So, this morning I did the tasks and now am enjoying a cup of coffee and an apple dumpling and reading your wise words.
Dumple on, DK!
100% true! I was single for 5 years after divorce and thought I was totally ready for Mr. Right. Along the way, I discovered I needed to grow and change in a lot of ways in order to be a good match for the special man I deserved. I did. Then we quickly found each other. Our 17th wedding anniversary is May 5.
Congrats on #17, Caroll!
Inspiring and insightful
If there was such a thing as Six Sigma for relationships, I’d be the poster child. Forty-four years later, and I’m in what your friend might call the continuous-improvement cycle. Thank God for daily mercies.
I can so relate, Grant.
Giggle. That took me back to my black belt Six Sigma days. Which I later took to a Japanese company, who are masters at continuous improvement (kaizen). I guess it started after WWII when made in Japan was a by-word for cheap and nasty, but over time, they have observed, copied, and developed, to a point where even they have had to take their manufacture off-shore to make it affordable.
Wow what a humbling thought ” I haven’t been the right person” mixed with hope “yet”
What a timely and wise post, dear friend. Amen! Thank you, Mitch.
My privilege, Karla.
Wise words from your friend Craig.
Amen 🙏❤
Wonderful post! Absolutely adore this message and the profound impact it can have on our lives. Are we striving to embody the best version of ourselves? Are we reflecting God’s glory by living in a way that others can witness Christ within us? It all begins with Him, and then it’s up to us to carry it forward. Amen.
To have a friend, first you have to be one.
That is a maxim I’ve carried with me from teenagerhood. But being a TRUE friend takes much energy and patience, so I’ve learned I have to restrain myself to a small circle and be a FOND friend to many others. If that makes sense.
Sound advice!
I believe I have said this before but God has chosen the right person for us, if it’s meant to be. That’s why I just wait but stay as content as I can, while doing so.
Amen! Words of wisdom, Mitch.
Glad it spoke to you, Gabrielle.
I love this, and I completely agree with your friend! Learning to be alone, and to be comfortable with being alone is something I feel is important. At the same time, it’s wonderful to be able to grow and improve alongside one’s partner — we’re always learning and changing, and so do our relationships!
Exactly, Damyanti!
SO grateful God kept me from BEING the wrong one, since I ain’t the right one yet!
Blessings, Mitch. Anne A.
Wow. What an astute response your friend gave. And he’s right … you cannot seek the “right” person … it will happen when you are the right person. We must work on being our very best before we can expect to attract the best. Thanks for this thought today!
My pleasure, Jill!
Very true Mitch!💕
One of the best posts I have come across today! Right to the very core! Well done, Mitch! 🙂
Thank you, Mia.
Yes, it really is a beautiful time of life for us, too. Congratulations on your 50 years of loving tenacity.
Absolutely true, Mitch. I like the phrase, “Be the friend you want someone to be to you”. You had a very wise friend.
I agree. Great insight
I love this post. My immediate reaction was, “How can I be the right person?” Thankfully, I quickly realized that is what I had been doing for most of my life, and why I had ended up in a not very positive relationship. I am MUCH happier being my authentic self. I am sure there are others “out there” that feel the same way as I do, and would love someone to love them just for who they are.
Mitch, I have become hooked on your posts. Please keep on with the amazing work. You have no idea just how much you motivate people!
Delighted to hear that, my friend. (Unfortunately WordPress has labelled you Anonymous.)