My father died on this date, at age 45, from a heart attack. It happened two weeks after his annual check-up, where he’d been told, “Your ticker is in great shape!” “Ticker.” They said that back then. They also said a lot of other silly things. And they got a lot of things wrong.
50 years after my dad’s death, I look around and see how much they, i.e. we, still get wrong. We condemn each other for crimes against humanity that (whether right or wrong) were societal norms just a few years–or even months–ago. We assume that the worst things we hear about people are true. We fail to listen to each other, preferring instead to talk about each other.
And then we die. Before we can break the pattern and change our ways, before we can learn to listen, learn to forgive. I would give anything to have my father back, to finish the hard work of understanding that had only just begun when his “ticker” quit.
Shame on us. God forgive us and teach us to listen, to understand, to forgive, and to love one another–especially our enemies–in whatever time we have left. Help us to break the patterns of judging and condemning…
Before our tickers quit.
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive yours, but if you do not forgive, neither will yours be forgiven.” ~Matthew 6:14-15
~ In Memoriam, William R. Teemley, December 19, 1927 – July 20, 1973 ~
I love you, Dad.
These milestone anniversaries are tough. Take care, Mitch.
Thank you, Mark.
Thanks for writing this, Mitch. That’s very young to lose your father. I lost my oldest son to a heart attack when he was in his early 40s. Yes, it seems our country is out of control and full of vicious behavior these days. Name-calling, condemnations, and refusing to believe what is right in front of us. It’s a confusing time to be old, remembering how decent our society once was. Sad, but yet a good read. Thanks.
Thanks, Phil.
My heart aches for you, Mitch.
Thank you, Joy.
joy did you find genesis 25:45
Hugs. 💕 And AMEN!
Thank you, on both counts, Laura.
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Hey Mitch. Thanks for this! My father died Oct. 4, 1973. He was 44. It was also heart-related. He died in surgery. At that time, I was a very rigid, narrow believer. I’m thankful I didn’t level any judgments at him for not being exactly as I thought he should be in order to “get saved.” He was a gentle soul who missed his own father so much that every night, when he tucked us in and we said the lord’s prayer, we would add “And take good care of Granddad.” Death is not the victor. Love overcomes. But grief is real and very tough sometimes. Peace to you this day, and all days.
Thank you, dear Rita.
how was year 97 98 99
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Hugs – losing a parent is never easy especially when we are told all is fine. Wonderful wisdom shared for all of us to remember.
Thank you, Anita.
So sorry you lost him as such a youngster yourself. Hugs to you for remembering him today…and sharing with all of us. 💔💔💔
Thank you, Vicki.
💗
Great reflections!
I’m so sorry that you lost your father when he was still so young, and you yourself were a youngster. 🙏
Thank you, Luisa.
You’re most welcome 🙏
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I’m so sorry your father passed so young. You’re right, we should learn to forgive and let go. Life is too short. Take care.🙏🙏
Thank you, Seyi. You too.
“We condemn each other for crimes against humanity that were societal norms just a few years ago.” I recently wrote about a musician who wrote–what are by today’s standards–racist lyrics 40+ years ago. Back then, they might have been merely insensitive or perfectly acceptable. I’ve done the same. When I did IT work for a racial justice organization 20 years ago, I named the file server ‘Tolerance.” Five years later, I knew tolerance wasn’t adequate and I named the new server “Unity.” For a flaming liberal, one area of wokeness where I draw the line is judging people yesterday by today’s rules.
BTW, my mom died at 49. such a rip off. I Know how you feel.
Amen, Jeff. And sorry to hear about the loss of your mother at such a young age, as well, my friend.
Your Dad looks such a nice man. Heartbreaking to lose him so early.
Gwen.
Thank you, Gwen.
Oh Mitch, you blew me away again! There are tears in my eyes. I am so sorry for yourself loss. I know your dad is proud of the man you’ve become. Your words are strong and true. They always are! Thank you for always lifting us up!
Bless you, dear Joanne.
“Oh, the worst of all tragedies is not to die young, but to live until seventy-five and yet not ever truly to have lived.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
Be blessed, Mitch. love and prayers, c.a.
Thanks, C.A. And, yes, I tear up every time I hear “The Living Years.”
Each and every memory is painful as it comes but at least we know they wait for us on the other side. My dad passed at 62 needing a bypass which in the ’60s they did not do yet and I was only 10. To me, it seems he’s been gone my whole life but he did leave me with my ability to write poetry and write in general He was a popular Latvian poet and writer and it was WW II that upset his life.
Oh, Sandra, I’m sorry to hear you lost your father at such an early. At least, as you yourself have noted, much of him lives on in his writing–and in you.
Only 46 years old? That’s rough. Yes, I, too, pray we love, forgive, and listen. And not be so dang angry.
God bless you today as you remember and grieve your father. My mother died 53 years ago this month, after a similar Medical missed diagnosis. She had lymphoma, but was first told by her doctor that she had “cat fever,” whatever that is.
And God bless you in your reminiscenses of your mother, my friend.
<3
Oh, 45 is so young! It must still hurt. I hope you still feel his love.
It took a while getting there, but yes, I do, Howard.
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Mitch, my heart goes out to you, having your father taken from you, so prematurely! May you fulfill his and your destiny. I know your father would so enjoy seeing the man you are today! Hugs!
Thank you so much!
You are welcome!
P.S. I’m afraid I don’t know your name.
Your mother also must have been devastated to lose her soul mate at such a young age. Hopefully, this happened when you had accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into your life to help you through the grieving process. May God continue to bless you with fond memories of your Father, Mitch.
Hi Nancy. Yes, my mother was indeed devastated. But, no, I didn’t become a believer until several years later, so my ability to effectively process the loss was delayed. Thank you for your kind words, my friend.
Wow – 50 years. I’m sorry your dad died so young, Mitch. But I love how you’ve turned it in to such a lesson for reflection and good. Sending my gratitude and best wishes.
Bless you, Wynne.
Beautiful tribute to your father — and words to live by, for all of us.
Thank you, Mich.
We certainly need to break the patterns of judging and condemning.
Boy, do we, Liz.
Mitch, my father at age 55 also died 50 years ago this year.He had untreated high blood pressure and had a massive stroke. I was 26 at the time. I was fortunate to retire at 55 myself. Twenty years and written three books since then so a good choice! Take care, Brad
You too, Brad, and thanks for sharing a bit of your own story here.
No matter how much we expect to one day lose our parents, it’s hard. I lost my dad 20 years ago when he was only 62. Hugs to you and yours.
Thanks, and likewise, Kellye.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Fifty years sounds like a long time, but the heart doesn’t measure time.
Thank you, Belinda.
I lost my faith when my dad died at 52 of a heart attack two weeks after being cleared by a medical checkup. But that was because my faith was in religion, not God. My mom died in her 80’s but died by inches for fourteen years with Alzheimers. It shook my faith, but God popped in and out of my mourning enough to help me trust that “Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.” Your closing challenges to love our enemies is where God is opening my eyes and heart now. We have different journeys, but ultimately we are all having to learn the same truths and let go of pride. Glad we connected on blogs.
Amen, amen, and amen, Eileen.
I echo your prayer. Amen.
Bless you, Rob.
Loss of our beloved is the hardest part of life. I am so sorry you lost your father so young when he was so young. I lost my father to cancer at 62 and then my mother, also of cancer three years later and my brother at age 55. I cry every day in anticipation of losing my husband. He is not ill, I hope, but I cannot bear the thought. Miss my Italian grandfather immensely and my mother-in-law. And I lost my best friend at age 39. It is, unfortunately, part of life. The hardest part, I think. May God heal your heartache. ❤️
Hard indeed, Ellen. But fortunately this is only the tipping point of infinity.
matthew 6:39-40 can a blind guide a blind will not both fall into a pit he that is qualified will be like the blind
That’s from Matthew 15:14, Rudy.
matthew 40:39 stand on the word & stand up as eagles on sky with behemoth on grass
matthew 40:39
That’s not a Bible verse. What does it mean to you?
it is a verse in chapter 40 in matthew to rise as a eagle to stand on the word
matthew 40:39 says to stand on the word & wait as eagles in the sky & behemoth in grass
I am sorry your father was so young when he died and that the doctor didn’t realize he had some heart problems. That’s a painful loss.
Thank you, Nancy.
Very thought provoking post, Mitch. My father died when he was only 42 and I was 8, so I know about those feelings of loss and regret. You are so right, we need to be tolerant and forgiving and these reminders are helpful. Bless you and your family as this anniversary comes around.
Thank you, Carla.
Time well given to thought at a time to remember an only Dad.
I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your father at such a young age. This is a message so desperately needed today. Thank you for sharing.
My privilege, Mark.
My mom passed away last week at 96. I share your grief, Mitch.
Oh, Pam, wishing you condolences and blessings in your loss.
Thank you, Mitch. It’s so strange realizing I can’t ask her a question anymore. The loss of a parent is tough no matter how long they are in our life.
Absolutely.
Sorry to hear about your father.
Amen to that. May your father’s memory be a blessing. I’m so sorry you lost him at such a young age.
I agree with every single word, Mitch! It’s beyond time to stop judging each other and looking for reasons to take offense and to start actually listening to each other and trying to understand each other. We humans do hurt each other…and often hurt the people we love….but that’s what understanding and forgiveness come in. And as you say, we don’t have endless time in which to make those connections, either. I’m sorry for the loss of your father. I know it was a long time ago, but that doesn’t make it any easier to accept.
Thank you for your kind words and thoughtful response, Ann.
I’m sorry your dad died so young and you navigated through the last 50 years without him. I hope you are confident that he loved you and would be proud of the man you’ve become. His strengths and weaknesses have no doubt been a part of shaping you into who you are today. God bless you and comfort you during this time of remembrance.
Thank you for your kind words, Manette.
Shame on us, indeed. 💔 Thank you for sharing about your dad. 🙏
My privilege, Kelley.
What a calmer, more harmonious and gentler world it would be if we each asked ourselves, “What if I’m mistaken? What if my opponent, adversary, teenager, whomever, has insight, facts, whatever, that elude me?” I’m sorry for your loss, Mitch. As ever, an evocative, candid post. Thank you.
And thank you for your thoughtful response, Lisa.
Well done Mitch!
Thank you, Jim!
A loving tribute. Our great consolation as Christians is that we know we will see our loved ones again in heaven, where there are no more tears.
Sorry to hear about your father. My father died a few years ago, which also felt really hard to me even though he was quite old…
Forgiveness helps in that it is ‘a barometer’ of our having been true to our inner self, by experiencing what hurt we received from ‘our enemies’ as you call it…, for example… Forgiveness then arises naturally as a by-product of our inner work of trying our best to understand our inner experience.