Photo courtesy of Leicester Mercury
I asked my wife whether I should publicly share this hidden nugget from my childhood. Being pseudo-famous, I find it wise to ask my very private wife (she does sometimes go out in public) when to share such paparazzi-fodder. Her reply? “Be delicate.”
I had a “hernia operation” when I was seven. Or six. Or five. We moved when I was seven, so it somehow seems like my entire early childhood happened “when I was seven.”
It wasn’t my first trip to Hospital (I regularly visited the ER), but it was my first sleep-over! So I was kinda nervous. But mostly super-excited.
There were super-bright lights, and then they put a mask on my face, and then…
I woke up in a big bed with all kinds of neato buttons and handles, just like Captain Nemo’s submarine!
Nurse Sandy and Dr. Doctor visited me a lot. I was pretty sure Nurse Sandy was in love with me because she looked at me with big lovey-eyes. Hospital was kinda like heaven. I got tons of Jell-O, read kid’s books with Nurse Sandy, and walked around looking into other people’s rooms. Only when I walked, it kinda hurt down there–where I’d had my hernia operation.
But mostly I felt super-happy. Especially when they hooked me back up to the big bag. They even set off fireworks to celebrate my going home! Well, that and it might have been the 4th of July.
My operation was sorta goofy. It left a big scar down there and—this is the goofy part—a rubber band through (this is the thing my wife told me to be “delicate” about) my hangy parts. I was told to be super-careful not to break the rubber band.
But I did.
Mommandad thought I was gonna have to have another hernia operation, but Dr. Doctor said, “No, he’ll be OK.” And I pretty much was.
When I was big, Mom told me my “hernia” was actually an orchioplexy, an operation boys have when one of their ball-bearings doesn’t “descend” to their hangy parts. It can lower their chance of having kids later (not when they’re a kid, silly). But not me.
I had two super-duper ones!
I also had a different kind of “hernia operation” on purpose, after having kids. But this time there was no Jell-O. :>(
And no rubber band. :>)