Don’t Read This, You’ll Only Encourage Him!

Back to School Night Notebook for Mom and Dad - with customized school photo (I was obsessed with monsters at the time)
My Back to School Night Notebook – with “customized” school photo (I was obsessed with monsters at the time, so I made myself into one!)

  Picking a Blog Name, Part One

Lavish fanfare. “Thank you, thank you! Please, you’re embarrassing me, really…thank you…no, really…thank you…” The crowd settles. I begin to speak. My voice is full of warmth and humility: “On the auspicious occasion (asion, asion, asion) of my first official blog post (ost, ost), as I look out upon my legions of imaginary fans (ans, ans)…”

OK, so you’re wondering how I’m going to make an epic multi-part story out of how I picked my blog name when my blog name is simply my, you know, name. The short answer is: I can make an epic multi-part story out of anything!  Here’s the slightly longer answer:

My blog name needed to be special. By contrast, naming my children was easy. After all, they hadn’t developed personalities yet. My blog name, on the other hand, had to embody not only my passions and ideas, but a very developed (some would say overly developed) personality. Hence…

Name choice #1: Don’t Read This, You’ll Only Encourage Him! I figured I’d hit the bulls-eye when I thought of this. Like pretty much every ham since the first Ham, son of Noah (“appearing nightly in the Ark Room”), I started out as the kid who inspired adults to say, “Don’t laugh, you’ll only encourage him.”

As a result, I did a lot of elementary school time-outs for blurting too-good-to-keep-to-myself one-liners. Long before it was labelled ADD, my type of behavior was called “poor citizenship.” To this day, when I see “Citizenship: ________” on a form, I feel like I should answer, “Needs improvement.”

I had a lengthy run in sketch comedy groups during the 80’s and 90’s (Isaac Air Freight, Mitch & Allen, National Lampoon Players). But I also did not-so-funny things like teaching, filmmaking, and conference speaking. Don’t get me wrong, I love making people laugh. Always have, always will. And yet, while funny matters, sola comedia has never been my motto.

I needed a name that said more.

So I reluctantly abandoned Don’t Read This, You’ll Only Encourage Him! as a blog name, vowing to use it as the title of my first post. Hence, this post. Which is now over. But…

…the epic multi-part story continues in

Mitchellaneous (Picking a Blog Name, Part Two)

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, Humor, Memoir and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Don’t Read This, You’ll Only Encourage Him!

  1. jellybrah579 says:

    Reblogged this on jellybrah579 and commented:
    Wow 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The last first post I read started with “Is this thing on? *tap* *tap* SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Um, sorry.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Steven Buehler says:

    The last first blog post I read started as follows:

    “Is this thing on? *tap* *tap* *tap* .. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Sorry, um…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sherri says:

    So……..have we decided to stick with the name “Mitchellaneous”?

    Liked by 1 person

    • teemley says:

      Nope, I abandoned “Mitchellaneous” because of the possibility of people accidentally ending up at the other (hard core porn) site. The official blog name is simply “Mitch Teemley.” The post gets into why.


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  13. mitchteemley says:

    Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:

    A year ago I launched my new blog site with this self-introducing series. And the rest, as they say, is history–no, wait, make that mystory.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Nancy Ruegg says:

    Our older son was just four years old. His preschool teacher told us he was a very funny kid, but needed to learn when his humorous comments and antics were appropriate and when they weren’t. I asked him about it; his answer was: “I like to make the children laugh.” He’s still a funny guy, but I’m happy to say (after several decades) he’s quite good at choosing appropriate times. It did take awhile!

    Liked by 2 people

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  16. you are ridiculously funny, fyi! :). hope you don’t mind that I used your name in this post:

    if you’d like, I can remove it. let me know. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  20. I always enjoy reading your posts, they crack me up! 🙂
    I am a school teacher in the elementary grades and have had quite a few children with great imaginations and humor . I’m however proud to say I always allow them to share their joke, afterwards I make sure we get back to the lesson at hand. This seems to work well because they get it our of their system!

    Liked by 1 person

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