Thought for the Week
“Admit your mistakes,” is hardly the motto of our current culture. If anything, it’s the opposite. Being exposed for having ever been anything other than what one claims to be can mark the end of a career, or even, tragically, a life. Suicide, which is at an all-time high, is more-often-than-not, tied to having one’s carefully crafted public image shattered.
To be successful, politicians are expected to, 1) prove they don’t make mistakes, and, 2) prove their opponent does. If caught having ever done otherwise, the standard response is deny, deny, deny, along with a healthy dose of retaliatory image-assault.
And so we celebrate narcissists and liars, while secretly wondering why we aren’t as perfect as they are. The answer is simple: Because no one is.
Including them.
Refreshingly, the Apostle Paul advises his young mentee Timothy to “be a model” to others by diligently fulfilling his calling. “So that,” he adds, “your progress may be seen by all.” In other words: learn from your mistakes, make corrections, and grow stronger because of it…
In public!
Why? Because people desperately need true leaders—in politics, showbiz, sports, offices, factories and families. People who model not how to be perfect (i.e. lie), but how to own their errors and learn to do better, yes…
In front of God and everyone!
Ouch and Amen!
Well said, Mitch. May I add that admitting mistakes also requires maturity as the Apostle Paul explains in Ephesians, chapter 4.
A well-considered addition, Dana.
Thank you, Mitch, you are always a blessing.
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True leaders — well said, Mitch!
Thanks, Wynne.
I agree, Mitch. Taking responsibility for our actions and owning our mistakes creates the opportunity for forgiveness and freedom. Fake perfection closes the way to both.
Letting your “growing pains” show —— Now that’s real transparency.
It is indeed, Dora.
So true!
I love this!! Thank you for writing it. 🙂
My privilege, Katie.
I sent this blog to my son–that’s how much I loved it! 🙂
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“Mistakes are always forgivable…” On what planet is this the case ? I don’t mind admitting mine but I’ve heard “this is all your fault, Carl” for everything that has gone wrong in the universe since I was born.
So sorry to hear that, Carl.
I never noticed the subtle implications of Paul’s instruction to Timothy. Interesting!
We are not perfect, really. Best we can ever do is try to be true as we can.
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Truth!
It’s always been difficult for humans to admit and to own their mistakes. I think the advertised perfection of social media accounts humans are so drawn to also makes it seem as if the world is rampant with perfect people.
I agree, Xen.
Yes
Yaaassss! ‘Because people desperately need true leaders—in politics, showbiz, sports, offices, factories and families.”
This is a timely message for me, Mitch. It reminds me about what Brene’ Browns says about vulnerability: we usually appreciate seeing the humanness in others, but are loath to show our own humanity.
So true, David.
Some people will say “I’ll be the first to admit when I’m wrong’ because people like to hear that, it makes themselves seem like a good person – but unless they actually admit to and own their wrong-doings it means nothing. My morally corrupt ex husband (a thief and constant liar ) used to say that a lot but would never actually admit anything, even when trapped by evidence.
I’m so sorry you had to live through that, Katie.
Good post. It is sometimes hard to say “I was wrong” or “I’m sorry” but honesty and contrition is so much better for everyone.
Very true, Chris.
It would be wonderful if people would admit to mistakes when they are made and second chances are given to those who do admit to them. But it seems, at least for public figures, generally, they do not admit, and the public probably would not forgive. So, at least in those case, it seems, as a society, mistakes are not acceptable and there are consequences such as losing an election or losing a fan base and the income that goes with it. It is sad, but there is a fear of fessing up when one’s livelihood is at risk, not only their own, but there may be a network of people who depend on them as well. I agree totally with the Apostle Paul that as his mentee, Timothy, was guided at a young age to progress and be a model to others, so should society guide the youth of today in that same direction so that when mistakes happen we can keep in mind the character of the individual and not just the mistakes they may have made. Timothy was fortunate to have the Apostle Paul as his mentor. Who do most of today’s youth have for their models and guides? Yes, there are many good guides such as parents and teachers, but many follow celebrities on their social media platforms – the ones that seem perfect to them. Great thought provoking post!
Glad it got you thinking, I.V.!
Well said, Mitch.
Thanks, Andrew.
Great post, Mitch. I’d really love to hear some political leaders say ‘I was wrong or I’ve changed my mind’. This would be ‘real’ and respectable instead of what most usually do: just keep badmouthing their opponents without worrying about their own mistakes.
Indeed, Rosana.
Well said, Mitch. 👌🏼
Thank you, Iman.
This post is spot on. We all need to share this and help educate a world that seems to have lost its senses. Only by the grace of God will we be saved from our own destruction.
Good point, Mitch.
Thank you, Mary.
This makes sense.
Accept your mistakes. And work on them.
True! Owning our mistakes openly is real strength. We learn, grow, and inspire others—not by pretending to be perfect, but by showing how to rise after slipping.
Exactly, Hary.
I don’t remember who said it, but it’s so true..
“There’s no shame in admitting you were wrong, because it means you’re wiser today than you were yesterday.”
I don’t know, but I like it!
Great advice for all of us, but especially for public figures. I’m sure we have all heard the public non-apology apology that goes something like this: “I’m sorry if anyone was hurt by this,” or “I’m sorry you found out I was doing such and such.” True accountability and contrition is too rare from our leaders today.
I did that just last night. It is most definitely not enjoyable. But then, neither was the “mistake.”
Amén 🙏
Great message, Mitch. What you said about the reason for suicide is important. It’s often tied to our perceived public image. Either we feel we’re too important to fail and look for a way to escape embarrassment, or we don’t want people to see that we’re in a dark place and need help, so leaving this world seems easier than asking for it. I know there are extreme cases where deep mental illness is the root cause, but even those can sometimes be prevented if family and friends surround the person with care and support. Every life is precious, and everyone has something important to offer.
Amen, Edward!
Amen!
I really liked this message. I’ve struggled with perfectionism for a long time and it even affected my mental health, but I’m slowly learning to accept that I don’t have to be perfect.It’s true that people today try so hard to look perfect, but real leadership comes from admitting mistakes and growing.
I’m so glad this message spoke to you, Yuina. It’s good to meet you.
Thank you for sharing so needed to be said.
My privilege. (P.S. Is your name Khoy?)
No why do you ask?
My mistake. I asked because it’s the first part of your blog address, so I thought it might be your name.
Oh okay.
And no worries
Truth and wisdom, Mitch!
Well said, Mitch. I love it. Clear and direct.
Thanks, San.
Amen! I may have shared this story before. Working years ago with a Spiritual Director using Jungian dream interpretation, it began to suggest that I had a small undeveloped side that made me feel inadequate and around people who trigger those feelings, I used sarcasm to “cut them down to my size!”
After this disconcerting session with my Director, I went to visit my mother in the nursing home where she was mostly comatose from years of Alzheimer’s. She asleep, so I just sat holding her hand and silently asking God, “Was I really like that?” At that moment her roommate who had been comatose the two weeks she’d been in the room, raised up on her elbow, looking directly at me and said clearly, ” You aren’t who you thought you were, are you?” With that she lay down and never said anything as far as I know in the following two weeks before she died!
Wow!
So accurate, Mitch. I can’t believe how many politicians are narcissists. When I give my opinion on something, I always say, “I could be wrong, as I have been before, but….”
There’s an element of narcissim in most leaders, regardless of their profession. It’s important for them recognize and check impulses that come from that trait.
Yes, checking their impulses is definitely necessary.
Thank you, Mitch!! This post is so perfect for now. We do indeed live in a culture, as least here in the US, that admitting a mistake is a weakness. But your post is perfect. We all have fouled up. Sometimes it is something minor, and other times it’s pretty major. But the Apostle was right; we can learn from our mistakes. And if we try, we grow. Thanks. I am not a religious person. But over here years, I have found your words to be so genuine and kind. Thank you very much. You are a truly good person.