Note: This is from that bastion of journalistic integrity The Weekly World News, so you know it’s gotta be true. Check and see if your boss or ex-boyfriend is still around.
Other actual newspaper headlines from the Think-Before-You-Print department:
- “New Autos to Hit Five Million”
- “Tuna Biting Off Washington Coast”
- “Child’s Stool Great for Use in Garden” (Eww, just, eww)
- “Lawyers to Offer Poor Free Advice” (Only the “free” part is new)
- “Thugs Eat, Then Rob Proprietor” (Not that he cared at that point)
Bonus: Two favorite snippets from an old Wall Street Journal:
- The Food and Drug Administration considered declaring mother’s milk unsafe. Seriously. The problem was, they couldn’t figure out where to put the label.
- The IRS office in Jackson, Mississippi, got a call from a woman inquiring, “Are birth control pills deductible?” The brilliant agent replied, “Only when they don’t work.”
I know it’s only midweek but, hey, with Satan locked up, all evil should be gone by Friday. I mean, that’s gotta be worth something. Right?
This was from a long time ago. I remember standing in line at the grocery store with my wife when we saw the headline. Hmmm not much has improved since though. Maybe not true???
Yes, quite a few years back. And, yeah, things don’t seem that much better in the world, so I’m guessing he escaped.
Whew! That’s a relief. No more watching for him lurking anywhere in MY house now.
Too, too funny, Mitch! 😀
And people believe that nonsense…amazing. Thanks for the chuckle. Have a great day.
You too, Anita.
Wow … and held him in a metal tool shed … guess Metal is his kryptonite
Sent from my iPad
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Oh, yeah, pretty sure that’s mentioned in the Bible somewhere.
Gotta be worth a million bucks, at least!
;>)
My oh My!
I love it!
What did they do with him?
Probably picking olives at that Spanish monastery.
lol
Thanks for the chuckles at the end of a hard day!
Hilarious !
Misplaced modifiers have always, always been my favorites!!! At times, it is so difficult to concentrate during meetings here at work… Just sayin’
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Those made me smile! Thanks!
Well; if all that acceptable, I am not going to worry about how I present the words. Isn’t there a spell checker for that?
I reckon that gets to stay there for 1000 years. 😉