My Real Memoir: I’m Beginning at the Beginning…Again
Five Years Ago…
I had an idea, and I hope to have another eventually. But meanwhile, that one was so good that I’ve decided to have it again. “Ahem, and what was your i…dea, Mitch?” you ask. Oh, yeah, it was to write a series of weekly memoir posts in chronological order. And stop rolling your i’s (I hate it when you do that), there’s more. Part two of my idea was that, when bundled together, these posts would serve as a first draft for what would eventually become a real memoir — an actual book. Or two. Or three. And now I’m beginning at the beginning…again.
“But Why?” You Ask
First, because many of my readers haven’t read those first My Real Memoir posts. And second, because our Italian programmer friend Algo Rithmo also had an idea. And, like many of Algo’s ideas, it scrambled a bunch of former ideas. Result: the links connecting five years of My Real Memoir posts have all been obliterated! So, not being one to cry over spilt syntax, I’m beginning at the beginning…again.
I’ll still continue to post the current episodes (My Real Memoir: A New Hope?), which follow my life as a young adult. But I haven’t decided yet whether to alternate them with these beginning-again episodes (My Real Memoir: The Phantom Menace), or to post them on separate days. At any rate…
Thus Beginneth (Again) My Real Memoir
“It was a dark and stormy night, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” No, wait, let’s go further back… “There was once a happy little zygote…” No, not there, here:
According to Ancestry.com, the first Teemley, Conrad, whose father was not named Teemley, came to America from Germany. He married a sweet German girl with the same first, last, and middle name as his mother. OK, that’s kinda creepy. Except that Conrad’s mother wasn’t his mother. Which is to say that, apparently Conrad was illegitimate (I’ve been called a bastard a few times, but never realized it was historical).
And his wife? No actual relation to Conrad’s same-named cheated-on non-mom, but a woman with a completely different set of parents (whew). Only, she didn’t have the same name as her father either. Sagen was? (Say what?)
And, adding to the mystery, according to ancestryDNA.com, I have no German blood! Because, even though Conrad and Eva were German-born, they weren’t actually Germans. The logical conclusion, therefore, is that they were international spies serving undercover as stodgy 19th century farmers. Or could it be that Ancestry.com is confused? Nein! This is going downhill fast. Let’s fast-forward a smidge.
Chapter One: The Pantom Menace
I was born in Whittier, California, the home of Richard M. Nixon, to whom I’m also not related (whew). “So you won’t have me to kick around anymore” (that’s funny if you’re old).
Oops, out of time.
Until next week, meine freunde, auf wiedersehen!
Said the maybe-not-so-German memoirist.
To read the next My Real Memoir: The Early Years, click here.
LOL! Thank you for the laugh, this is great!
My pleasure, Sheila.
Writing for laughs is tough for me. You did beautifully, Mitch.
Thank you, Bob.
My own weird non German/ German ancestry on my mom’s side was supossedly a political activist/ pain in the you know where, from somewhere in the Balkans. So, maybe we are cousins Mitch. You never know!
;>)
It’s a brave soul who submits personal *data* to any DNA dot com. I wish my relatives hadn’t done so, as one criminal in my family history doesn’t go back very far!! If there are more, or worse, I don’t want to know (unless I have to point fingers). You’re a brave soul, Mitch. Sorry about Algo.
Haha…funny. 👌🏼
🧡
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You are hysterical. Thanks for the laugh!
Why, thank you, ma’am.
Love this.. will wait for more, Mitch.. I always have an idea or 4. i can’t keep up with myself.. lol
;>)
Ooooh…. If both your non German German parents were spies, does that make you a spy kid? Coooool!
;>)
Lots of belly laughs here. Sometimes having to start over can be a blessing in disguise.
🧡
Ich habe deinen Beitrag sehr gerne gelesen. Besonders dein humorvoller Ansatz hat mir gefallen. Unglaublich, aber wahr: Ich schreibe auch an meinen Memoiren. Ich habe vor elf Jahren damit angefangen und lese immer wieder von vorne. Ich kann deinen Schmerz gut nachvollziehen. Schöne Erinnerungen.
Danke, Cethru.
I was stationed in Germany for a couple of years, so I did this just to ive you smile.
That is your funniest yet! And I like funny! 🤣
Glad to hear it, Wenda!
Beginning at the beginning? Well done! Now that you have made yr choice, would you also let us know the other options…for beginning I mean 🙂
I never thought I’d feel nostalgic for when Nixon was kickable! As far as beginnings go, it never stops starting there. Looking forward to what’s next. 🙂
;>)
Thanks for the fun read, Mitch. My paternal grandfather immigrated to Canada from Germany, but he was born in Switzerland. His parents moved to Germany for work, so possibly that’s was the case with your ancestors as well. I look forward to following your story as it unfolds.
Thanks, Terry. And, yes, ancestors who moved around definitely complicate the ancestry info.
So you’re from a family of spies? Wow. I suppose you couldn’t tell us if you’re a spy, too, ’cause then you’d have to kill all of us.
I’ll pretend you didn’t ask that question, Christopher. ;>)
This is fun, Mitch! Makes one smile! 🤣
Thanks, Mitzy!
Ancestry DNA has brought fascinating questions to many! Family trees don’t tell the whole story, you only need one woman to have been unfaithful along the line to produce surprises. Of course until very recently mothers would have assumed any secrets to remain secret for ever.
I love the Star Wars references!! This sounds like a wonderful project!
🧡
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Can’t wait to read more! 😊Love your sense of humor, Mitch!
Thanks, Peggy!
Algo Rithmo deserves to be sued for messing with the links connecting your earlier posts! In the meantime, you might remember one of our D-I-Ls and I share the same name–first, middle, and last. Our son wasn’t even going to date her because of that. “That would be too weird!” he said. But she was cute, kind, funny, and more. The weirdness began to fade in light of those factors.
Good! And thanks for the commiseration, Nancy. 🧡
I chuckle at the strange discoveries in your family tree. I always assumed I was half-German, but according to Ancestry, I’m more Polish than German on my mother’s side. What makes it even funnier is Mom and Grandma were not above making Polish jokes, even about people who were not actually Polish. So, it turns out I’m a descendant of Polish jokes.
Now to call some relatives to help me change a lightbulb.
;>)
UGH! lost that whole first part? put a hit out on him yet? okay, just joking. …maybe…
;>)
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