My daughter was born smart. If she’d known English the day she was born, I’m sure she’d have explained to the obstetrician that he was doing it all wrong.
By the time she was two that oversight had been corrected. At a supermarket she asked, “Daddy, may I please have a cherry popsicle?”
A harried looking shopper observed, gobsmacked, “That toddler just used a complete sentence!”
“Well, of course,” I said, “she knows a proper sentence needs a subject, object, and a verb.”
Duh.
Then she asked the lady if she would like a hug. Because, you see, my kid wasn’t just smart, she was also deeply perceptive.
So it came as no surprise that one day, at age five, while she was dancing along with that esteemed TV philosopher Barney the Dinosaur, she had a profound epiphany. She’d been singing an insipid little self-esteem ditty with him that went,
“I’m special! You’re special! Everybody’s special!”
when she suddenly stopped mid-kick-ball-change and asked, “Daddy?”
“Yes, darling?”
“If everybody’s special, doesn’t that mean ‘special’ is just ordinary?”
She still loved the gentle purple dunder-lizard, but was dubious about his wisdom after that. (Personally, I suspect it takes more than a little fermented grape juice to remain that color day in and day out.)
One year later, we celebrated her sixth birthday at Chuck E. Cheese’s. She’d just finished giving the big cheese himself a compassionate hug when she took me aside and announced, “He’s not real, you know.”
“He’s not?”
“No, there’s someone inside.”
“Really? Who?”
“Barney.”
The gig was up. She’d figured out that, lacking any real depth as a sage, Barney had plummeted in the ratings and been forced to moonlight as a pizza-pushing rat.
That was when I knew my own days as a mentor were numbered.
😀 😀 😀
Oh, what a delightful child!
It’s stories like these that make me regret not having a child. Nevertheless, we’ve enjoyed the wisdom of nieces and nephews, and now are relishing in our greats.
Ah, the great-n’s. Enjoy, Gail!
Wonderful story. A loving spouse who never leaves us and kids who always love us are priceless gifts from our Maker.
Amen to that, Bob.
ha!I love this, and your daughter, so much –
Cutie patootie…and smart, smart, smart. Thanks for sharing, Mitch! 💕
My pleasure, Vicki!
🥰
Cute, cute, cute! This post made my day, Mitch.
Awww.
Kids are much more perceptive than we give them credit for. 😂💙
Very true, Nigel.
She sounds like true perfection! 😂🤣😆
How does one keep up with such perception? 😀
Oh, that’s priceless!
Yesterday my 6 year old grandson said, “grandma are you available to pick me up after camp?” I said yes, that grammie was getting him Monday and Tuesday and I was on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. He said “oh good because i was going to check with her next.” 😝 honestly.
;>)
Rip Van Winkle, here you come! 🤣
Kids are so perceptive and smart, especially when they are our own! 😍
Haha. What a brilliant little prodigy ❤️
This is the basis of a successful sitcom!
;>)
Mitch, this post made my heart smile!
Delighted to hear that, Chaya.
Wonderful
😍
Delightful post! Oh she’s a clever one all right.
I adore that age range. Their perceptions of life and surroundings are growing and changing exponentially and their views are often filled with purity and wisdom. This is a precious heart-warming story, Mitch.
So glad you enjoyed it, Manette.
I love it!
Interesting. It is rare for children to be that verbal at a young age.
It is indeed. People did double-takes when they heard her.
U have good reason to be proud of your daughter’s acumen at ages 5 and 6. By now, she may have already noticed a more nuanced interpretation of “Everybody’s special!” as a zingy oversimplification of wisdom, like some contradictory or tautologous sayings of Yogi Berra. Don’t try to appeal to most 5-year olds with something like
(Almost) everybody is special in some way(s).
But do take it seriously. For example, I am utterly humdrum in many ways that some people are special. On the other hand, I am a nerdy atheist who digs sacred music and pushes the envelope of haiku poetry. Surely there are not many of us. Druther be special in my way than in any of DJT’s ways.
Excellent point, MC.
When I was at the mall with my younger brother waiting to get his picture taken with the Easter Bunny many years ago, some little kid a few ahead of us sat on the Easter Bunny’s lap, looked at him, and started screaming bloody murder as he ran to his mother with tears in his eyes. When his mother asked him what was wrong, he said the Easter Bunny had eaten someone. What really happened was that the person inside of the costume could be seen out of the holes in the mouth of the bunny. I laughed so hard I was bent over double laughing. I felt bad for the kid but it was so hilarious (probably because I was not 5 years old). My brother still got his picture and every time I look at it I laugh. Hopefully that child does not grow up thinking all rabbits are cannibals LOL.
Hilarious, yes, but let’s hope that kid never saw ‘Donnie Darko.’
HA! That one made me genuinely laugh out loud – kids are just the best. Too funny!
😆😆😆 Love it!
Blessings to you and yours 🌻
Thanks, Perry, you too!
😁😁😁 She’s smart, alright!
😁 love your realisation at the end that your days as a mentor were numbered.
Awesome. Made me laugh.
Beautifully written, Mitch.
I’m with your daughter in that Barney is one of my favourite philosophers too, along with Pooh Bear, Snoopy, and Garfield.
Thanks, Lesley.
Writing is an art! You write wholeheartedly!💐😊
Thank you, Ramani.
Thanks Mitch. I continue to be increasingly persuaded that children actually make more sense than adults… and that age and life-experience decreases maturity.
;>)
Who knows what she would have done with the Disney crowd. Or is that a future share?😉
Could be.
Oh, those are priceless quotes by your daughter.! She would have been a hoot on a show where they interview children. 🙂
She would indeed, Nancy.
Too cute💕
So funny and cute!
Adorable. <3
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Love the special/ordinary insight; such wisdom in a young child!