Am I the Real Forrest Gump?

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My daughter calls me Forrest Gump. She has this theory that I’ve not only met most of the world’s famous people, but that I (accidentally) caused most of modern history’s major events. Silly, I know. All I can say is, “Daughters are like a box of chocolates…” 

I did, however, once meet a motherlode of celebrities in a single night.

As a young actor trying to drum up a career, I’d launched a street theatre group called The Right Pithee Players. We performed at a few Renaissance festivals, but weren’t setting the medieval (or modern) world ablaze. Until one day…

We got a call from Walt Disney Studios. They were planning their 50th anniversary celebration and had chosen a Renaissance theme. The back lot would be inundated with maypoles, minstrels and mead. Someone at Disney had seen me do my Right Pithee Players character, a boastful bard named Peter Pratfall, and decided he would be the perfect host. So “he” was hired to emcee, as well as mingle and amuse with the Pithees. I quickly re-wrote the script in my schticky style, and was in the performers’ tent getting ready, when I ran into…

Mickey Mouse! Who was, in fact, a cigar chomping four-foot-tall guy with a gravelly Brooklyn accent (you can’t make this stuff up). It was his first night back on the job after a two month suspension. It seems he’d been “leading” a marching band and stopping to shake hands. And each time he did, the real drum major would march on, forcing him to run to catch-up. Mickey had had enough. So he raced up to the drum major and—in front of roughly 10,000 fans—kicked him where the sun don’t shine.

During my emceeing, I began to name some of the celebrities present (Julie Andrews, Robert Redford, Carol Burnett, the Mickeys: Rooney and Mouse), and boasted that I could do a spot-on Cary Grant impression.

Later, as I mingled, a little girl sitting on her father’s lap asked me to talk like Cary Grant. So I did. She giggled. And then her father, whom I hadn’t looked up at until then, remarked, “Say, you do me pretty well.” We traded Cary Grant impressions until Mr. Grant finally conceded that mine was superior, and promised to do it my way from then on.

So, yeah, maybe my daughter is right…

I am Forrest Gump!

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
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42 Responses to Am I the Real Forrest Gump?

  1. Abe Austin says:

    Well now you’ve gotta upload a video doing your Cary Grant impression, Mitch! One of my favorite actors of all time!

  2. Christie Ciccarelli says:

    What a delightful story! Thank you for sharing Mitch..

  3. Ana Daksina says:

    Of COURSE you caused most of the major events of the twentieth century! I was well on my way to being a lady mud wrestler before you came into my life… 🤭

  4. Wynne Leon says:

    A great story well-told, Mitch! From Mickey Mouse to Cary Grant…what a night!

  5. Victoria says:

    Oh my goodness…what fun! Your description of Mickey Mouse…wow! 🤣🤣🤣

  6. Peter Pratfall is still gleefully lurking around inside Mitch Teemley. 🙂

  7. Marvellous, Mitch 😊😊😊

  8. Pam Webb says:

    Just when is your memoir coming out? Let’s see the title could be along the lines of “A Funny Thing or Two Happened On My Way to Becoming World Famous.”

  9. Will the real Cary Grant please stand up? You’re such a hoot!

  10. I don’t know how we ever got along before you began blogging. Mitch, you never fail to make my day on the days I turn my computer on. Uh, you didn’t happen to be one of the chocolates I’ve eaten since Easter I hope.

  11. Andi says:

    Loved this story! Cary Grant! Oh my…one of my absolute favorites.

  12. Karen :) says:

    Thanks for a fun story that gives a smile on this Friday morning!

  13. #hood says:

    got a jean michel jarre songs

  14. Kara Luker says:

    What a great story!!

  15. Ann Coleman says:

    How amazing! I think your daughter may just be right.

  16. Love it! You are an amazing storyteller!

  17. Great one, Mitch. Love the ending! God bless!

  18. ravenslocker says:

    Next time you see Mickey run Forest run!

  19. Great stories! 🙂

  20. Jennie says:

    Yes, your daughter is right. Wonderful post, Mitch!

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