My Real Memoir
Or rather, I grew up going there. To this day I can draw a more accurate map of Disneyland than I can my home town. Still, certain visits to the Magic Kingdom glow a little brighter in my memory than others.
The first time, I was five and experienced it in a way I never would again, in the same way I’ll never experience Santa Claus again—as something absolutely real, every spray-stuccoed inch of it.
Both for good: I believed Sleeping Beauty was actually asleep at that very moment in Sleeping Beauty’s Castle and that our little Peter Pan ship had actually flown to Neverland.
And for bad: I believed the whale-mouthed entrance to the Storybook Canal Ride would deliver us straight into the belly of Monstro the whale! And so I refused to go, despite my parents’ assurances that we would quickly come out the other end. Be pooped out of a whale? No thanks, Mommandad!
Worst of all, when on the Snow White ride the Witch offered me a shiny Red Delicious and Dad cackled in his creepy old lady voice, “Want a poison apple?” I’d believed it was her speaking! I’d screamed throughout the remainder of the ride, and sob-hiccupped into my cotton candy on the King Arthur Carousel.
The next Disneyland visit that lights up my hippocampus was My First Real Date. True, I’d had an Official First Date earlier that year, but this one actually involved driving there with a girl—not me and my mom and girl, just me and a girl! True, it was the girl who drove. I only had a learner’s permit, but Kelle had her license and the use of a very cool car, a Rambler American with reclining seats! She’d driven me home after play rehearsals, and we’d sat in my driveway making good use of those seats, but now it was time for a Real Date!
Kelle and I were, “for all intensive purposes,” as my mom put it, girlfriend and boyfriend. No, I hadn’t given her a big, manly guy-ring to wrap in mohair. But it was her face that appeared next to the word “Girlfriend” in my Mitchionary. And after that evening, it was a picture of Disneyland that appeared next to the word “Romantic.”
Every ride acquired a new name that night: Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride was now Me and My Date on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. The Jungle Boat Cruise was now The Look Everyone I’m at Disneyland With a Really Cute Girl! Cruise.
And, oh, modern Disney daters, if you only knew what it was like not to be barred and bundled into separate padded buckets on a super-fast Yeti-infested Matterhorn ride, but what I experienced that night: the slow-moving Matterhorn Bobsled With My Girlfriend Slid Back Into Me While We Gradually (Please Let it Last Forever!) Ascend the Chainlift and My Arms are Wrapped Around Her Delicious Girlness…ride.
Not until I went there with my wife did Disneyland once again appear next to the word “Romantic” in my Mitchionary. And not until we took our kids there did Disneyland appear next to the warning “Don’t say, ‘Want a poison apple?’” appear…
In my Dadcyclodpedia.
My Real Memoir is a series. To read the next one, click here.
Mitch Teemley 
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That car!
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I know, the epitome of coolness, right?
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So much fun! And until you provided a name for it, I wouldn’t have known how to so deftly describe “sob-hiccupping”. Perfect! 😊
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Thanks, Vicki!
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Love this story. I watched the opening of Disneyland on our black and white tv and dreamed of going there. We finally did in 2007. We only had Coney Island here, but remember those same milestones there. My dad keeping me safe on the roller coaster, then my first boyfriend keeping me safe on the same ride and then keeping our 2 children safe at a smaller version of Coney.
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Yes! A parallel experience in every way, Kathleen.
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There must not have been any challenging hills on your drive to Disneyland. American motors cars were notorious for struggling up inclines. Your memories made me nostalgic-and I’ve never been to Disneyland or Disney World!
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;>) Nope, no hills, Nancy. It was a straight 15 minute shot down the freeway (I-5) for us.
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I’m glad we experienced Walt’s Disney vision. It was indeed a magical kingdom then.
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Indeed is was, Pam. And it still is, in a way, but such a corporate money-machine in other ways.
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Mitchionary. . . Dadcyclopedia . . . love your made-up words, Mitch! Our kids loved Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride at Disney World. So disappointing when they replaced it with Winni-the-Pooh, but we can understand why. Time marches on, even for Disney.
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Very true, Nancy.
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We traveled alllllllll the way from Missouri to California to see Disneyland. I was 12 or 13 so my brothers were 8 and 10, and my Uncle Harry and Aunt Tex (really that was her given name!) gave us the tour with my folks. What I remember? No gum on the ground, anywhere! I remember the rides like the Jungle boat ride and the elephant that shot water out of his nose. I also remembered the Pirates of the Caribbean and the 360 degree movie where when the plane turned, everyone standing by the railing almost fell down. So, 1/2 a century of memories.
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Makes me want to go to Disneyland! I’ve loved our couple of visits there over the years. 😊
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Much better than Florida, btw. 😉
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Lol! It sounds like fun! I’m one of the 6 aged Americans who’s never been to a Disney, and one of fewer cradle Catholics who’s never been to Rome (which is another way of saying, “We in the Nawth look/ed VERY forward to our summer beaches, boardwalks, carnivals & drive-in movies, and to the Fall fairs with their wonderfully chilly nights”)!
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So good! Thanks! We had an American Rambler as well.
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Yep, that was their most popular model, the one the eventually renamed the company after. “Rambler” doesn’t sound particularly perky, does it?
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Back then not everything had to sound as if it were being pronounced by an over-Ritalinned junior high school girl.
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The Mitchionary and Dadionary (? Lol) are filled with wonderful memories. You have such a beautiful way of weaving your words, memories, and the fantastical events that make you Mitch! How blessed are we? It’s like I’ve been to Disneyland! I’ve never been there~but I have been to DisneyWorld (a former love memory and special moments with my sons)!
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Aw, so glad you enjoyed, Karla.
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It’s my blessing. I’m so happy when I can “see” and “read” you!
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OK, you just officially made my day, dear lady.
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Oh, this is GREAT Mitch!
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Thank you, Sheila!
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I fun post! I enjoyed it.
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Thanks, Liz.
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You’re welcome, Mitch.
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You are an untamable romantic just like myself. You take us down glorious memory lane via Disney, and its all beautiful! Thank you.
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You’ve exposed my secret, Howard. ;>)
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:))))))
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Also, I visited Disneyworld in 1976, and Disneyland in 1978. Disneyworld is massive, and overwhelming! Just saying
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So which do you prefer? (I visited Epcot way back, but haven’t been to Disney’s other Florida parks.)
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Disneyworld was my “first”, so it will always be special. Disneyland has more of a charm to it. I really enjoyed both of them.
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Love this post! I grew up 30 minutes from Disneyland and it was magic every time we went. (We had a Rambler too! Turquoise and white.) I vividly remember my 4 year old niece screaming through all of Peter Pan because she thought she really was flying. The pirates didn’t help. Then she rode the teacups and promptly threw up. Good times! Oh and my personal fondest date memory was my cute male classmate in my senior year sitting next to me on Pirates of the Carribbean leaning over and kissing me as we rode UP the waterfall.
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Awww.
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Did you say it? Two to one you did…
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Actually, when we took our kids to Disneyland the Witch-offering-guests-the-apple bit didn’t happen, so I had no opportunity to terrorize them. I understand it’s since been added back in, but with a mirror-effect apple because guests so frequently stole the original prop apple.
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Oh, for heaven’s sake… 🙄😆
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I’m marginally more familiar with Disney World because I live on the east coast so that’s where people go (but not me). I think it’s cool that back in the day it could be a date. Now, at least at the ‘World’ , ritps seem to require several days and thousands of dollars. Ah, progress.
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Oh Mitch…smiling from ear to ear as I read this extract from your Memoir. That’s a book I’d definitely buy, I love your stories so much. I love your new terms, too “Mitchenary” and “Dadcyclopedia”. I called things my Dad would claim were 100% truth “Dad facts” and when Google came out, the Dad facts decreased quickly. Funny how that happens, huh? I loved hearing about Disneyland from a little boy perspective and from a guy on his first date. The new names for rides part made me giggle. Just so wholesome, I love it.
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Aw, thanks, Janet.
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Awesome memories, Mitch. You reminded me of my childhood fears of the Wizard of Oz. That witch and those flying monkeys scared to death. I think I was a teenager before I could watch that show. Thanks for the fun post.
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I hear you, Tim. I had flying monkey nightmares after the first time I saw The Wizard of Oz.
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Such great memories!!! My first trip to Disneyland was when I was about 9 years old and I was enchanted … a bit overwhelmed, but also enchanted!
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I have to agree… as a child, of all the rides at DisneyWorld, the most terrifying was Snow White.
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We are just introducing our 3-year-old granddaughter to Snow White. She is enthralled and we are beyond impressed with the incredible animation. It is lightyears ahead of its time.
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Indeed, Nancy. In 1937, no one had ever seen anything like it.
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Very entertaining 🙂
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Thank you, June.
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How fun! (Despite the encounter with the apple-offering witch.) I grew up dreaming of going to Disneyland, but since I live in St. Louis, I had to make do with our local amusement park, “The Highlands.” The day it burned down was one of the saddest days in my young life…..
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Oh, I can understand why, Ann!
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I have a friend who was one of the children running across the castle
Bridge when Disneyland opened . I was an adult when she told me and I look for her every time I see Any videos of the event . First Disney trip I was 10 . My aunt wadded $5 up In a napkin and tossed it as we ate and it was a tragedy . My grandfather bought me a Tinkerbell necklace that I wish I still had ! It WAS A magical place . Went many times as an adult and then, as we lived in Chessy France we watched EuroDisney being built and went many times to that . My kids found 200 francs on Autopia so we are lunch ! Yea !!!
Fun times
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And you have the stories to prove it, Susie!
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Your memories make for great reading, Mitch!
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Aw, thanks, Kellye.
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