Putting a Man on the Moon

Why the moon landings could have

My wife is profoundly snarky. So if you’re going to have a surreal experience, she’s the one to do it with. Last weekend we had one while watching the new movie First Man.

Just as Neil Armstrong and crew were preparing to embark on their historical mission, the power failed. Moments later, we wandered into the lobby, along with our fellow naked mole rats, to discover the entire multiplex had gone dark. As we stood waiting for rain checks, the power came on.

So we skittered back to our tunnels.

The movie eventually resumed. However, it turns out it had been playing the entire time we waited for the projector to fire up, so we’d missed the big dramatic build-up to the Apollo 11 flight! We waited another ten minutes, hoping they’d catch the oversight. They didn’t. So two of us went and told an usher. He asked how much we’d missed. “Ten minutes,” we said.

They ran the film back ten minutes, and we sat watching the ten minutes we’d just seen—instead of the previous ten minutes we’d missed. We went and found the usher. “No, ten minutes before that,” we clarified.

They finally restarted the movie at more-or-less the right place. Only at that moment, the automated preshow for the next scheduled screening kicked in. So we sat listening to the big dramatic build-up sequence while watching overlaid images of processed sugary treats.

We went and told the usher. He radioed the movie gods. They compliantly turned off the preshow and rebooted the movie to ten minutes before the theater had gone dark.

Result?

We ended up watching the pre-blackout section twice, the next section, the only part we’d actually missed (which by now had taken on mythical significance) once, and the ten minutes after that three times. It was at that point my wife leaned over and said, “You’d think if they could put a man on the moon they could show a movie about putting a man on the moon.”

You see why I could never have married anyone else?

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Memoir, Movies, Popular Culture & Entertainment and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Putting a Man on the Moon

  1. Garfield Hug says:

    Your movie watching is like a movie in itself! Sounds like an adventure of sorts🤣

    Liked by 3 people

  2. joyroses13 says:

    Hahaha!! I would love to meet her! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Can your wife be my new best friend?! She’s magnificent!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. theburningheart says:

    Sort of remind me the title from Arthur Koestler : The gosht in the machine, even if the content of the book has little to do with it, but sort of a perverse will of the machine to get things wrong. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Expedition into the Unknown says:

    I feel your pain brother

    Liked by 2 people

  6. The video clip of the rabbits -er, astronauts, hopping across the surface of the moon is a perfect backdrop for this story. Thanks for the chuckles.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Oh my gosh, this made me laugh. I have to share this with my family. Classic.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Oh man, what a movie-viewing nightmare! Hope they at least gave you passes for a free movie. Back in the late 80s, I was at a movie and we were 10 minutes from the end and the film melted and that was it – – movie over, lights came on and they said we could come back and watch at another date.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. 🤣 Sounds like you had a fun time.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. And I knew the punchline before the second ten minutes of the 10 minutes before and after but still laughed with it finally got there Just like you enjoyed the moon landing you knew was going to happen when you finally saw it

    Funny

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 2 people

  11. barbara carlson says:

    I feel a kindred connection with your wife — she and I are the ones to Get Things Done in public venues like that. It is what everything wants to happen, but don’t have the Thatchers to actually accost the people in charge. It is esp. hard for Canadians to speak up like this, and when I do, they like it, but…it’s not quite…the “done thing.” wimps

    P.S. There are rotating postal strikes in Canada, so your book may arrive late…

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Nancy Ruegg says:

    Boy–that’s an episode to put in one of YOUR movies, Mitch. And kudos to your wife for that brilliant quip!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. She’s got a point.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. M.B. Henry says:

    I mean… she has a pretty good point! Lol. I had a hard time with that movie, the camera work made me a bit motion sick!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Jennie says:

    Oh my goodness!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Wow! What an adventure! Love your wife’s remark. Perfect response. Don’t know if you could’ve scripted it any better.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. cricketmuse says:

    I’ll wait for the DVD—just in case…

    Liked by 1 person

  18. gpavants says:

    Hi Mitch,

    The Lord the comedic team together for times such as these. We do need humor in these days, right? Keep us smiling.

    In Christ,

    Gary

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s