Welcome to October!

hetairaeAncient Romans celebrating the Feast of Pumpkinspiceus

A Scholarly(ish) Analysis

Welcome to October, the eight month of the year!

Wait. What? The month of October takes its name from the Latin number eight. Why? Because the ancient Roman Calendar, credited to Romulus (brother of Remus, who told all those charming Br’er Rabbit stories), had only ten months. No, it wasn’t because Romulus was raised on fermented wolf’s milk (although that may have been a factor). It was because the Romans, whose feet were only ten inches long, rather than twelve like the standard foot, and who were very touchy about the subject, compensated by basing everything on the number ten.

Which was actually pretty sweet. I mean, who doesn’t wish the Romans had never stumbled across those other two months buried in the snow somewhere north of Buffalo, New York, and added them to the calendar? And now we’re supposed to freeze our togas off taking down Christmas lights in the snow? Thanks, Marcus Inconsideratus!

Anyway, October 1st is the true start of autumn. Ol’ number seven, September, has claimed to be the start ever since they kicked it out of summer, but just look at the thermometer while you’re batting mosquitos away from your hot chocolate in September and tell me it’s fall. September is clearly a liar!

October’s new official name in the United States is Pumpkin Spice (marking a tremendous comeback for the previously ejected American member of the Spice Girls). Unlike, say, curry in India or salsa in Mexico, pumpkins spice is used not only to flavor many American foods, but is now actually legally required in all American foods…

With the curious exception of pumpkins.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
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18 Responses to Welcome to October!

  1. A fun post! This is my very favorite month but here in Louisiana it’s still a month that acts like summer! But….all my fall decor comes out today so at least I can pretend while I’m inside my air-conditioned house……

  2. Nancy Ruegg says:

    We passed a road sign today outside a fast-food eatery, advertising the unique news: “Pumpkin is here!” Pumpkin what, we wondered. Their specialty is hamburgers, so we can only surmise they are now serving pumpkin hamburgers. (‘Guess we shouldn’t knock ’em till we’ve tried ’em, huh?) Thanks to your post, Mitch, we at least know why pumpkin is turning up everywhere–even in our sandwiches: It “is now actually legally required in all American foods.” A-HA! THAT explains it!

  3. Frankly, it scares me how many things are pumpkin-spice-ized in the grocery store. Endcaps of bizarre pumpkin spice flavored cheerios and oreos and poptarts… I guess the pumpkin spice domination is meant to get us in the spirit of Halloween later this month…

  4. smzang says:

    ” And now we’re supposed to freeze our togas off taking down Christmas lights in the snow? Thanks, Marcus Inconsideratus!”

    extra special!

  5. Welcome to October!

  6. Actually caught a coworker using pumpkin spice vape.

  7. gpavants says:

    Hi Mitch,

    It smells so good, too.

    Gary

  8. Dave says:

    took awhile for me to realize Pumpkin spice didnt taste like pumpkins…and wasn’t a chubby gal singer from Britain in the ’90s! Still don’t want it in my beer though… By the way, two of my nerdy hobbies are birding and weather, and to both Sept.1 is usually first day of fall. Sep/Oct?nov are fall months, Dec/Jan/Feb are winter etc. Probably makes more sense than have winter kick in on Dec.23 or so…

  9. “September is clearly a liar.” Lmao that’s awesome.

  10. cat9984 says:

    The pumpkin spice oreos were bad. The pumpkin spice cold cereal is well beyond the realm of the edible

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