Thought for the Week
During self-introductions a college student of mine once boasted that he’d fathered 11 children by 11 different women.
I normally avoid judgmental statements. Not this time. “Do you support them?” I asked.
“Uh, no!” he said with a grin.
“Then you’re not a real father. You’re a child abuser,” I replied. A period of awkward silence followed. Which normally bothers me.
Not this time.
Fatherhood is being there. With your time. With your heart. With your paycheck. When it’s convenient — and when it’s not.
To all of the real fathers out there: I celebrate you!
To all of those who are not:
Man up and get real.
Spot on Mitch. I’m always annoyed when I hear someone like that called a father or a dad. That’s not true. We need another word in the dictionary that describes those types of actions. I always think of those guys as mere inseminators but child abuser works as good as any word. 🤣
Amen.
What made it different this time that you called him out on it?
? What he told us, Rebecca. “A period of awkward silence” would normally bother me, but not in this case.
but you weren’t bothered in this case by the awkward silence because of the subject matter or the tone he took when he told you?
He was proud of having fathered 11 children, with no sense of responsibilty toward them or the women he’d impregnated. I knew calling him out on this, rather than letting it go, would create tension an “awkward silence,” but felt the need to do so anyway. Many thanked me for doing so afterward, btw, and I met the guy for coffee the next morning.
Calling the jack rabbit out and breaking his braggadocia bubble was the right thing (and the Christian thing) to do. Maybe some of the other students were taught a lessson in responsibility, too. Kudos, Mitch!
Bravo!!
Yes, bravo!
I think child abuser is a good term for someone like that.
In my knowing friends who did not have a father around in their childhood and the various ways that was detrimental for them – I feel blessed that I had a loving attentive dad in my life ! He’s dead 17 years now and everyday I still miss him.
<3
true: Fatherhood is being there – physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually
Excellent! I’m so glad you confronted that boy, Mitch! I hope if woke him up.
I hope so too. I met with him for coffee the next day, and he admitted he had mixed feelings about what he’d done.
Hear, hear!
Honesty, the best of all the lost arts. Mark Twain.
Good call on stating the truth, sticking with honesty!
Almost like he hoped someone somewhere would denounce it as being unworthy to all parties. Glad you were honest. (Also, I once sent my mom a Happy Father’s Day card.. sad, but true. Absence sure doesn’t make some hearts grow fonder.)
Indeed, Carol.
In a real, sad way, it isn’t so much his offspring that have been abused, but his romantic partners who presumably trusted him. He’s set them back on their life’s plan, but hey, genetic fitness?
Bullseye, Mitch! Great post.
Thank you, Anonymous.
Brilliant!
Thank you, Susan. Although I wish it hadn’t needed to be said.
I hear you.
I wanna hear more about how this conversation transpired! 😆
THIS! ALL OF THIS! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 That’s, right, Mitch!
Perfect.
Well said, and Amen!!! 👍🏻
Amen, Mitch!
Praise God for the courage to speak up and say what needs to be said. Amen and Amen.
Thank you, San.
Wow. Well said. I hope 🙏 that some of the young men listened that day. (And gals too!)
I hope/think they did, Joni.
I normally don’t like it when people are judgemental but in this case I have to say you were spot on and that it was good that you said what you did.
Right on the nail, Mitch!
Well said, Mitch!!!
Bravo, Mitch!!
I remember a classmate at our 10 year reunion winning for having the most children, but they were in all different states with different Mothers.
Probably not the kind of “winner” the committe that picked the category were looking for!
Sometimes truth has to be spoken. Well done.
Thank you, Heather.
Well-said, Mitch!!
Thanks, Karla!
You’re welcome, Mitch!!
I’m not usually a fan of calling people out (because too often it’s done in order to bolster the esteem of the person doing the calling out, rather than to right any wrong), but in this case, I’m really glad you said that. The young man needed to hear that not everyone thinks creating, then abandoning children is something to be proud of, and the other students needed to hear that too. Because you were right, he is a child abuser.
Well done, Mitch!
So you met him for coffee the next day. Whatever was said is none of our business, but I’ll bet that was an interesting conversation.
It was indeed, Pete.
I wish more people had the kind of courage you showed with that student. Thanks for standing up for the truth and doing what’s right, Mitch.
Every now and then I do that, Keith. Oh, to be more consistent.
Great Post! I thank God for my late husband Bobbie. He was really a shining example for our sons. And they are exemplary fathers. Again—love the post. Blessings and Peace!
What a wonderful legacy, Claudia. And blessings and peace to you too, my friend!
Thanks!
My comment probably would have gone in the direction of “Are you bragging or is this a confession?” No doubt an awkward silence would have still ensued.
I’m sure it would have, Pam, and well-earned awkward silence.