Hilarious Real Life Names

I knew a guy named Tarzan when I was in high school. It wasn’t his nickname, it was his real name. To add insult to injury, he was the shortest guy at our school. He was also massively into weight lifting. When people heard his name and saw his muscles, they said, “Ah, yes, that explains everything.”

On the other hand, Jeffrey Wilschke could hardly blame his birth name for his behavior. It was only after he had it legally changed that he embarked on a six year crime spree as the notorious Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop.

What we do for love: Some people evoke laughs simply by getting married. Shelby Warde and Joe Looney did just that when they invited everyone to celebrate with them at “The Looney-Warde Wedding.” So did Linday Grim and James Rather when they joyfully announced their “Rather-Grim Wedding.”

Parents who should be shot: Bill Lear, founder of the Lear Jet company, named his 4th child Shanda. Cute or cruel? You decide. But most parents are probably just cornballs, like the Tuckeys (of Kentucky) who proudly named their son Ken Tuckey. Or maybe clueless, like former Texas governor “Big Jim” Hogg, who named his beloved daughter Ima. (Contrary to legend, she did not have a sister named Ura.)

I asked my Facebook friends for some favorite real life names. Here’s what I got:

  • Paige Turner – Librarian
  • Justin Kase – College friend
  • Major Hazzard – High school ROTC leader
  • Dr. Hands – Obstetrician who delivered a friend’s baby
  • Dr. Looney – Psychiatrist in Texas (what is it about Texas?)
  • Molten Grassmuck – Name my wife found in a customer database
  • Mr. Crapanshitty – Elder at a friend’s church, whom the pastor just can’t bring himself to call on at prayer meetings

What hilarious real life names have you encountered?

ΞΎ

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Quips and Quotes and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

90 Responses to Hilarious Real Life Names

  1. The OB who delivered my son was named Dr. Grab.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. 🀣🀣🀣 okay this had me laughing hard. Am African , most of our names are funny but also grannies didn’t keep records so most of us don’t even know what they mean. 😏

    Liked by 2 people

  3. aparna12 says:

    Very hilarious names. We have Funny Last Names in Maharashtra ( India) like Potdukhe meaning Stomachache, Aglawe ( The one who lights fire) or Hathimare ( The one kills an elephant). πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Sue Cass says:

    I had a passenger on a flight when I was a flight attendant that was named Olive Pickle.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. πŸ˜‚ These are great! Since this is a G-rated blog, I can’t say what husband-and-wife names raised my eyebrows once (and apparently permanently), but I can say that after waiting 3 days as requested for the name my somewhat Mi’kmaq mom would give the giant white teddy bear we’d gifted her, we all got very seriously settled down — until she said, “The bear’s name is ‘Hard-to-wash’.” 🀦

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Years ago, I had a coworker whose first name is September. One day, I heard her talking on the office phone. “Hello, is this August? Hi, August. My name is September, and the reason why I’m calling you is . . .”

    it took all my willpower not to die laughing. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 6 people

  7. jmfayle says:

    I told our friends the Berger’s that they ought to name their firstborn Ham.
    They went and completely ignored me. Some people!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I taught a girl called Teresa Wood…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. My sister-in-law used to work with a guy named Delbert Peepers. And my brother had a friend whose surname was Duda, and whose parents had had the effrontery to name their poor helpless son Rudy.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Todd R says:

    I almost went to a Johnson-Pecker wedding.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. revruss1220 says:

    The OB who delivered my oldest son was (is?) Dr. Zipper. My youngest son had a preschool classmate whose GIVEN name was Champagne Minx. Never did find out if she fulfilled the promise of her name.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Lesley says:

    I love the Looney-Warde one! I had a teacher called Ivy Greene. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  13. C.A. Post says:

    I can just hear his prayer now: “Lord, this is Crapanshitty an’ I wanna talk to you about my ancestors.”

    A lovely young singer named Claudia Butt was invited to sing at a Youth Convention. The leader of the conference introduced her, “The Butts are new to our district and Claudia would like to expose herself to the ministers present.” 😳
    The leader’s wife was standing by me and, rolling her eyes, said, “I wonder if he ever thinks before he gets in front of a crowd.” πŸ˜‚
    True story!

    Liked by 4 people

  14. Sno Whyte and Robyn Hood

    Liked by 2 people

  15. bersinink says:

    I grew up with a family with the last name Docktor, and yes, both parents were doctors.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. WebbBlogs says:

    Oh my goodness there are some really good/bad ones on this post 😁 I have never met anyone with anything to odd, but I do have a buddy named Justin Kase. Some of these names are quite embarrassing. Can you imagine being called Mr. Crapanshitty? Poor guy. Or Hey Ben, Ben Dover is that you? Oh my good these poor fellas.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. murisopsis says:

    My pediatrician was Dr. Wince. I went to school with a family with the last name of River. Sadly the parents made life difficult for the kids with the names Forest and Rocky. And a co-worker’s SIL made Leno with her name “Anita Bang” at least she was able to get married and shed the name (she had a really difficult 4 years of HS).

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Krista says:

    Went to school with Lois Woodcock 😯

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I grew up with a guy name President Roosevelt. I went to college with a guy name Welcome Turner. I always wondered what state of mind their parents were in when they name them.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. 9erick says:

    My sister went to school with Nova Cane who had a little sister named Candy Cane.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. 🀣🀣🀣

    Liked by 1 person

  22. kerbey says:

    In austin, we have had a urologist named dick chopp for decades.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Annette Kurten. I also went to school with Robin Hood. Unsurprisingly he became a very aggressive teenager.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Ah, I forgot … In my town there is a young boy called Archangel Gabriel (Arcangelo Gabriele).

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Ben Dover! What were his parents thinking!? πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

  26. When I worked as an emergency registrar, one young mother registered her infant daughter named Chlamydia. I can’t remember how she spelled it, but I asked her why she picked that name, and she said, “It’s such a pretty name!” She appeared to have no clue chlamydia was an STD!

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Pam Webb says:

    And then there are those who marry into names, like a woman I knew who became Holly PeΓ±a.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. I have a friend whose surname was Blaskowski until she married a man whose surname was Kolodzne. She is currently married to man whose surname is Kujawa. The things we do for love…

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Rocky says:

    Tom Collins, a bar tender

    Liked by 2 people

  30. My mother went to school with Ima Bird

    Liked by 2 people

  31. My mother-in-law apparently had a classmate in high school in the 1950s named Frank N. Stein (and the yearbook included his middle initial).
    For another amusing name, one of the founding members of the Electric Light Orchestra was named Roy Wood. His daughter is named Holly.

    Liked by 2 people

  32. pastorross12 says:

    I have been sitting here laughing uncontrollably. This is hilarious including the comments!

    Liked by 2 people

  33. Hetty Eliot says:

    I have a friend who met someone named “Influenza” and when she questioned it the woman said “Oh, si, old Spanish name.”

    Liked by 2 people

  34. This is an interesting topic, Mitch. I feel bad when a parent knowingly burdens a child with a bizarre, weird, or vulgar name or initials for whatever reason.

    I have a few, but my favorite for good reason is my electrical contractor’s surname Best. He is successful, always optimistic, and cheerful. . . who wouldn’t be when you’ve been called “best” your entire life? I’ve joked with him that I want to be adopted so that my perfectionism could cease, I’d be BEST.

    I know a woman named Kari Carry. When we met she completed her introduction by saying, “and don’t blame my parents. I married into that.”

    The last name of a local pastor is Church.

    Liked by 2 people

  35. In our little town in Michigan we had an English teacher, Mr. Read, another high school teacher, Mr. Drudge, a writer for the newspaper, Nancy Storey, and two dentists – Dr. Fear and Dr. Payne. I didn’t go to either of them, but my dentist had an assistant named Barbara Butcher – yikes!
    A young couple we knew were getting married, her last name was Bloom, his was Fowler. Their on line wedding page was entitled “Bloom like a Fowler.” ( ❀ )

    Liked by 2 people

  36. loriwerner says:

    Please remove my comment from the public site. I did not intend for it to be a public post, just a personal response. I do not want to put that out there. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  37. To this day don’t know if it was true but my mother said her family knew a woman named Maida Pew – true or not it stinks to have a name like that

    Liked by 2 people

  38. Jennie says:

    Candy Barr, a college friend, and Kishma Ash, my dad’s college friend. No kidding!

    Liked by 2 people

  39. Too funny! I went to school with a Crystal Glass. Didn’t even realize her name was “funny” until many years later hahaha.

    Liked by 2 people

  40. I had a customer called Joe King – when I met him, I almost said, “You must be Joe King.”
    My local butcher is called Lamb.
    One of the doctors who saw me when I broke a ligament skiing was called Doctor Schamasch – pronounced Dr. Smash!

    Liked by 1 person

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