We’ll Never be Royals. Or Will We?

My wife is of royal lineage. Anyone who knows her can tell you that; our daughters always tease her about how genteel she is. So, when some years ago we learned her family tree included Henry VIII and a host of other historical la-di-das, none of us was surprised.

I, on the other hand, come from a long line of la-di-nots. Although it’s hard to be sure, since the Teemley patriarch Conrad seems to have been the first of that name; even now, there are only a couple dozen Teemleys in the world (on other planets, who can tell?). We never knew who Conrad’s father was until…

A few months back I took a DNA test and discovered that Conrad Teemley’s father was not, in fact, a Teemley, but a Voigt, and furthermore that Herr Voigt’s wife (cover the children’s ears) was not Conrad’s mother! No, according to Ancestry.com, Conrad’s mother was a fräulein named Private, which in English translates to “None of Your Business.”

“So it seems you not only married a peon,” I told my wife, “but an illegitimate one at that!” I’m still trying to find out who Herr Conrad’s mutter was. She was undoubtedly a very pleasant peasant, but a peasant nonetheless.

Meanwhile, double helix in hand, I turned to my mother’s side, the McLaughlins. More peasants, I assumed, only Irish ones. Even so, I’ve always been proud of my Irish roots. In fact, ever since playing the leprechaun Og in the musical Finian’s Rainbow, I’ve gone by the nickname Og.

For starters, I discovered I’m actually Scotch-Irish. The McLaughlins were Scotts who moved first to Northern Ireland, and then eventually to North America.

But what about before that? I clicked the Ancestry “Hints” tab and suddenly my family tree lit up like a, well, Christmas tree. I learned the McLaughlins, known in the highlands as the MacLachlans, were a centuries-old, castle dwelling clan of…royals! And, to my glee (aye, I said glee, laddie!), it turns out my MacLachlan patriarch went by the nickname Og!

Now, you might quibble, insisting that chieftains, lairds and baronesses aren’t technically royals. Except that the first Lachlan (MacLachlan means “sons of Lachlan”) just happens to have been…the freaking High King of Ireland! (I confess, I added the “freaking;” it seemed appropriate.)

Yes, I’ve turned into a total ancestry-head. But not because I’m a royal. I already knew that. I found that out 43 years ago when my Father, the High King of Heaven told me I was one of his chosen, his royal priesthood, his “special possession,” entitled “to declare the praises of him who called (me) out of darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9). And my wife too, by the way. How about you? I mean…

You can’t get any more la-di-da than that!

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in For Pastors and Teachers, Humor, Memoir, Quips and Quotes and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

58 Responses to We’ll Never be Royals. Or Will We?

  1. yakpro2015 says:

    Nice! However, while you assume that “private” is a commoner, it is quite possible she could have been a Lady of the court! Probably was sequestered during her term in the vacation castle… Just saying.Thanks for sharing.

    Joseph Yakovetic

    4480 Powderhorn Place Clermont, Florida 34711

    mobile: 909.241.6088

    SDG Soli Deo Gloria “To God Alone the Glory”

    Liked by 3 people

  2. roninjax says:

    Yes indeed and we have that same royal blood in us. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Relax... says:

    Amen. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Absolutely brilliant! Grateful that the King of kings has adopted me as His own. Greatly indebted to grace.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love hearing and learning about family ancestries. My family and I just returned last week from a 11 day guided tour of Scotland and Ireland. The most amazing trip I have ever been on. A dream come true, for sure.
    I am also of Irish descent and seeing the country my family came from felt like heaven on earth.
    Really loved and enjoyed this post.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nice! I’m a child of the King of kings, so I’ve got that going for me. But I already know there’s a big question mark in my biological heritage. It seems there was a traveling salesman back in the bad old days of Appalachia who seduced my great-gran and then fled the scene. Fortunately for her, a certain “Doc” Hansard took her as his wife and gave the baby his name, so my maiden name was Hansard. Though from my slightly hawkish nose and propensity for cooking, my husband swears he must have been Italian…

    Liked by 2 people

  7. tracykard says:

    “She was undoubtedly a very pleasant peasant . . .” Haha!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. oneta hayes says:

    Family folklore says I am from the Scottish Campbell Clan. You know of “The Campbells are Coming” well known for their fighting ability – and for being traitors to the Mc(Somebody) Clan. They provided refuge for them then turned and killed them. If that is true and you are the right Mc(Somebody), contact me for reparations. I want to leave this world, fit for my royal reign – perhaps Jesus has already cleared that up for me, but I’ll do what I can to save my reputation and keep you as a friend

    Liked by 1 person

  9. TEP336 says:

    Nicely done, Mitch. I know from my family genealogy that one of my direct ancestors served as a crewman onboard Lafayette’s ship, after service in the Continental Army during the Revolution. I haven’t done the DNA thing, yet.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Awesome! After to read your post, I will take a DNA test. Thank you for your positive story 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. LOL! Yes amen, Mitch! We must be related. I too have Royal blood all through me, a kingdom to inherit, and a crown that stays on my head most of the time. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Well, with our youngest daughter heading off to Scotland with her fiancé next month, maybe I can become a royal too? Although, I wouldn’t wanna be a royal pain as I don’t care for it when my wife calls me one. Fortunately, though, that’s not too often. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  13. revruss1220 says:

    I love it! Thank you for reminding me of my regal heritage. Of course, I should point out that the other way to be certifiably Royal is to have an amazing fastball and change-up and be chosen to play on the Kansas City-dwelling MLB team of the same name.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. What fun. I have thought about doing that but I am sure my family were farmers and not exciting.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I love my common ancestors. I researched my family tree extensively. I wrote two chapter books on my family, one on my direct line. Including looking up 100 plus year old newspapers and searching and finding mention of them. Lots of interesting stories to be had. It’s fun to research your family history. Keep digging!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Nancy Ruegg says:

    Long before the internet and Ancestry.com, I came across an English/German dictionary and looked up my maiden name to see if it might be included. Perhaps it would give me a clue to my family’s roots–like English names Smith, Knight, and Potter indicate the livelihood of ancestors. Imagine my disappointment to learn that my father’s last name meant “bundle of hay or straw!”

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Mitch that was a great read, especially the end!

    Liked by 2 people

  18. My husband, David, did Ancestry and the rumor of him being related to an Indian princess, was false, he is 0% American Indian. Oh Well, and no Royal Blood either, but could not love him more anyhow.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Fleur McMorrow says:

    Oh I’m clapping hands loudly, shouting Hallelujahs! So YES, I love the ending of this post, and the verse–it’s beyond wonderful to be a daughter in God’s royal family. I’m also intrigued by your Ancestry findings…I can’t get into the whole genealogy thing myself, maybe because on my biol. father’s side I’m Cajun French, which I’m kinda proud of (good gumbo and wild music), but I gather from visiting relative down south that Cajuns are hardly considered genteel, of nobility…oh well. However, on my maternal grandmother’s side, I am also Scotch-Irish, so we have something in common there 🙂 And, as she married a Key, I heard tell I’m a long lost relative of the famed Francis Scott Key. Blessings to you, you made it through Monday! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Genealogy, entertainment, and a message–a hat trick of a blog post, loved it!

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Pretty cool Mitch. The best I can do is that I am somehow related to the Queen of England. (Elizabeth)

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Bill Sweeney says:

    That’s great, Mitch. I’m 95% Irish, but never did any further research. I’d probably find I come from a long line of potato farmers 🙂 I’m so thankful that I was adopted by a Heavenly Father.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Well, la-di-dalleluiah! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Sherry says:

    Very interesting, especially since I’m a Teemley, too. I need to look into this. While I was doing my dad’s family tree there were lots of “maybe’s” and if I liked them I included them in our family tree.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mitchteemley says:

      Yeah, there are lots of maybes in the family tree process, aren’t there? If you have your DNA tested and get more (or different) info about Conrad’s parentage, let me know. Love you, cuz.


  25. You beat me to a long-planned “genealogy” blog post.
    I’ve been working on my family tree as well. Fascinating stuff. I’m having a hard time finding information about my German (mother’s) side, where we are apparently descended from nobility (allegedly, there’s a baron in my great-grandmother’s family). On the other hand, I could trace part of my Irish farmers-and-fishermen side back to the 17th century. (I guess those free-spirited Irish kept better records than the perfectionistic detail-oriented Germans!)
    Good to remember that God is our Father, and that beats even the noblest ancestry by man’s standards.
    (PS–“Private” on ancestry.com just means that they think the person is still alive.)

    Liked by 1 person

  26. kerbey says:

    Interesting. My father’s siblings all went to Catholic school, so they abruptly rejected Jesus as adults, which is evidently quite common. They send emails back and forth about their DNA findings and results, but I haven’t been interested because I feel like if we trace it back, we all go back to Adam and Eve. But they think that’s silly. Growing up, I knew one McLaughlin (Kathleen). Irish of course. She and her husband had just gotten married and needed a place to stay. It being the 70s, my mother offered our attic. Living in an uninsulated attic in Texas where it’s easily 120 by the morning in an attic seems crazy, looking back. But she and her husband were fertile, and as soon as the babies came, they moved on. I’m glad you’re enjoying your heritage, but taking the greater kingdom to heart.

    Liked by 1 person

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