Fifty Shades of Me

Headshot2The final Fifty Shades movie comes out next week. (Um, yay?) Actually, my wife hasn’t seen any of them because, dude, I’ve got at least fifty shades of grey, and they’re all hers.

The grey started showing when I was in my late thirties. Others noticed it before I did.

I was the guest speaker at a youth camp in Arizona one summer. I called the camp when I arrived at the airport at 11 a.m.

“What do you look like?” they asked.

I told them I had black hair.

“Great, we’ll send someone!”

Hours passed. I called the camp five times. No one knew where the teenagers they’d sent to pick me up were (they didn’t have cell phones). Finally, at almost 4 p.m. two teenagers walked up and asked, “Are you Mitch Teemley?”

“Yes!” I shouted. I was not a happy (soon-to-be) camper.

“It’s not our fault!” they complained. “You said you had black hair. It’s grey!”

“Well, it was black when I got here!” I snarked.


“Age doesn’t matter. Unless you are a cheese.” ~Billie Burke

“Middle age is when your classmates are so grey and wrinkled, they don’t recognize you.” ~Bennett Cerf

Β  Β  “The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” ~Lucille Ball

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, Humor, Memoir, Quips and Quotes and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to Fifty Shades of Me

  1. I totally understand. I myself are an early age greyer. My time was at the time of my Father’s passing. You have the right to be grey, and it has no effect on your talents. Great post.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. LOL! You’re silver fox. That’s a good thing, very stylin these days. Even young girls are going silver. You may have started a fashion trend.

    My hubby was a toe head when we met, white blond hair. It’s a bit funny, now he’s grey but he still looks as handsome as ever. My eyes can’t see the difference between white blond and just plain old white. Now myself, I’m never going to face such issues. Any grey hairs I may or may not have are named after my children and promptly washed away. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

  3. trE says:

    My Mom started greying in her late 20’s. I have maybe 5 strands of grey hair and I’m nearly 40. She has a head full of grey hair, no more brown or black. She’s constantly asking me, “Where is your grey hair?!” I reply, “It’s there.” Lol

    Liked by 2 people

  4. joyroses13 says:

    LOL! Hey going gray early is better than baldness right? My HS classmate was just about totally bald by the time we graduated .

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m one those guys that people my age hate. Just turned 58, brown hair, with a slight touch of grey at the temples – if you look in just the right light. My parents didn’t go grey until their mid-sixties. I’ve told my wife that when I do go fully grey, I am going to grow a full beard, let my hair grow long, tie it in a ponytail and wear tie dyed tee-shirts and reply, “grovey” to everything.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Ha Ha Mitch. You’re like a young George Clooney πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

  7. barbara runck says:

    You are so funny! Loved this!!


    Liked by 2 people

  8. Bald & have a Stilton breath. You could be blind and find me.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Mitch, grey is in!

    Take care —

    Neil S.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Some young girls dye their hair gray. πŸ™‚ Lady Gaga too.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. says:

    You have a full head of hair and you look fantastic. Don’t fret over the grey. Makes you look more distinguished.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Laura Jinkins says:

    Got my first grey hair when I was SIXTEEN. When I was TWENTY-TWO a friend and I went shopping and as we walked across the mall parking lot, the sunlight glinted off my random silver hairs and she said, “Girl, you have got to do something about that!”

    So for THIRTY years I colored my hair a nice auburn (even though my natural color is a dark brunette, I have the complexion to rock red)… but the mandatory touch ups every five weeks was wearing on both time and budget.

    Last spring I decided to embrace the grey. My color girl worked some highlight magic so it wasn’t so obvious that I was growing it out (i.e., no skunk stripe). I’m almost completely silver, and crazy thing β€” I get more compliments on my hair now at FIFTY-FOUR than I ever did all those years I colored it. Go figure!

    Liked by 3 people

  13. CJ Hartwell says:

    Your response was hilarious, but I can just imagine those poor kids!
    My dad started going grey in his 20s. By the time I was born (he was 41), he was completely grey and people thought my mom was his daughter and I was the granddaughter. Oddly enough, it never bothered my mom!

    Liked by 2 people

  14. M.B. Henry says:

    Gray hair is a crown of wisdom πŸ™‚ “It was black when I got here…” I laughed so hard!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Loved this. Thank you, Mitch!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. gpavants says:

    Hi Micrh,

    Aging is an art form. Grey hair is a glory, right?


    Liked by 2 people

  17. LOL, “Well, it was black when I got here!” LOLOLOL I’m dying here. Good one, Mitch! πŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Ann Coleman says:

    That was a terrific comeback! And as someone who noticed her first grey hair at the tender age of 26, I can relate. It’s all grey now and has been for some time, underneath the brown hair dye…..

    Liked by 2 people

  19. jrusoloward says:

    So funny! My mom turned gray in her early thirties. I always thought her hair was beautiful.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Ah, yes, the honesty of teens. I have two of them, so am put in my place quite often!

    I started greying in my 20s so at 40 I was quite grey. 20-somethings working as cashiers started asking me if I qualified for the senior discount. I even got the senior discount at our local community center for several months, unwittingly – the young cashier was charging me the senior rate for using the walking track, but I had no idea until a cashier who was a decade older than me took her place. That day when she quoted a significantly higher price to me, I was shocked. When I told her what I had been paying, she was shocked – you were getting the senior discount, she said!

    Liked by 2 people

  21. enitsirk24 says:

    I have embraced my grey. It’s what God thinks looks best on me.
    Your blog made me chuckle because only if I see a picture of myself do I see the grey hair. I would have said I have brown hair and stood around for hours too.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Ha ha. I still describe myself as tall (I was back in 8th grade compared to my classmates) and I always get surprised to see myself in photos next to tall people and I’m quite shortish. Go the grey, it’s such an infinitely interesting colour.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Pingback: My Top Ten Blog Posts of 2018 | Mitch Teemley

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