Hardness of Heart

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Thought for the Week

Do you suffer from Hardness of Heart?* Millions do. In fact, HOH is the world’s number one preventable cause of spiritual death. Progressive symptoms include but are not limited to: dull ears and dim eyes (Isaiah 6:10), darkened understanding (Ephesians 4:18), diminished compassion (Deuteronomy 15:7, Matthew 19:18), and frequent trips to do evil (Jeremiah 16:12).

If you’re experiencing (and causing others to experience) HOH, you need Confessitall®.

Confessitall® is made from all-natural ingredients, including pulverized pride, raw humility, and pure pharmaceutical grade gratitude. It can be taken in unlimited doses as often as needed, and is free of charge through the Eternal Assurance program (1 Peter 2:24). To learn more, dial 1-800-P-R-A-Y-E-R and ask for Sinner Assistance.

What happens when you take Confessitall®? According to the Manufacturer, patients experience immediate forgiveness and cleansing from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Long range benefits include: replacement of the old stone aorta with a freshly grown heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). Side effects include: Joy-peace-kindness-hope-renewed-sense-of-purpose-newfound-patience-toward-others (even the really annoying ones) and-too-many-other-things-to-mention-in-this-too-fast-to-follow-anyway-voiceover-so-ask-the-holy-spirit-to-fill-you-in-amen.

Are you human? If so, you should be taking Confessitall®. Unless you’re perfect, which, like, only one Guy ever was, so…

Ask your doctor if Confessitall® is right for you. If he or she says no, well… Why are you asking your doctor, anyway?

Talk to God today.

*This piece is available as a performable monologue from my publisher SkitGuys.com.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in For Pastors and Teachers, Humor, Quips and Quotes, Religion/Faith and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to Hardness of Heart

  1. Love this. I guess some like me often need a double dose on certain days!🤣😉

    Liked by 4 people

  2. God knows our sin. He wants us to know it too and turn from it. It’s an amazing, loving aspect of who He is. Thanks, Mitch. God bless!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hopefully, Confessitall will be formulated into a multivitamin since everyone is deficient in this very important nutrient for spiritual growth. Thanks, Mitch, for letting us know all about it.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Laura Alyse says:

    Love this, lol!! Like many diseases HOH, takes work, constant renewing of baptismal promises, and soul seeking restoration. Sign me up, oh Lord, Have Mercy on us all you from time to time forget your unending grace & Glory

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Abe Austin says:

    Hilarious, Mitch! It’s impressive that you sell the joke AND the message so well at the same time!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Really enjoyed reading your article for the day! Putting on love and mercy helps too!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. OMGOODNESS! This is Brilliant Mitch! Love it!!!!💕

    Liked by 1 person

  8. DarkerMatter says:

    Fantastic! So well done ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  9. So love this!!! ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Now THERE’S a commercial I would love to see on TV.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Linda Lee @LadyQuixote says:

    Confessitall sounds great. But what do you do if your lawyer advises you to remain silent?

    I’ve been selected to serve on a jury again. I wonder if we can get the defendant to Confessitall…

    Liked by 2 people

  12. #hood says:

    # of verses in jeremiah 41

    Like

  13. Thotaramani says:

    Well Mitch! Every time posting blogs from the Bright side and in a hilarious way. God bless you with all the happiness and love.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Grant at Tame Your Book! says:

    Confessitall® also cures “attitude sclerosis.” 💊

    Liked by 2 people

  15. The most important medical solution on the market today…Confessitall®. Thanks for advertising it, Mitch!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Confession, humility, and gratitude: an unbeatable combination!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Love it! Too cool, too funny, yet so very true.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Love this. Are you taking confessions? 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  19. successbmine says:

    I love your sense of humor, Mitch, and the unique way you have of using it to convey spiritual truths of great import.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Mitch! You made me laugh! “Pure pharmaceutical grade gratitude!” – just perfect! Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Ann Coleman says:

    Yep! Your life will be so much better if you talk to him on a regular basis….

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Jennie says:

    The most important thing I do every day is to assure that children will never suffer from hardness of the heart.

    Liked by 1 person

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