My Passover Gift to You
Some years back, while preparing a Passover/Exodus message, I learned that manna, the miraculous little wafers that sustained the Hebrews during their long trek in the wilderness, translates to “what is it?” or more-or-less literally, “whatzits.” Delighted, I turned my message into a Dr. Seuss-style retelling of the story. Wharton Finds a Whatzit has since been read aloud (with pictures by my wife!) at congregations throughout North America and in other countries, as well. Feel free to share Wharton with your family and friends. And if you’d like to read or perform it publicly, along with all 19 original PowerPoint images, click here.
Now, down in old Eejip where Fayro was king,
A fellow named Mo did a wonderful thing.
There were Heebrooz and Sheebrooz all over the place,
And that put a frown on old Fayroze’s face.
So he did some upsetting to stop all their smiles,
But they just kept begetting. They stretched out for miles!
Then Mo said, “Hey, Fayro, you’re mean and you’re rotten.
What God’s gonna do—well, it won’t be forgotten!”
Sure enough, God got angry and took ‘em away.
Then Fayro got mad too, and yelled, “Ogla-hey!”
Which was Jipchin for, “I’m gonna hurt you so bad
You’ll wish you were one kid your mom never had!”
’Cause that’s the way Jipchins and most people get.
When they don’t get their way, they don’t like it a bit!
Now, ‘Ro was so mad that he followed ‘em all,
Little ones, big ones, short types and tall.
Then he backed ’em all up at the sea that was red,
And said, “Now you’ll wish that you really were dead!
But Mo took his big stick, and raising it high,
Said, “God, now would be a great time to drop by!”
And God, who was there all along anyway,
Picked up that old sea and just threw it away!
Then Fayro said, “Go soldiers, go on and get ’em!”
And the soldiers they tried, but the sea up and et ’em!
Then the Heebrooz and Sheebrooz of Izree-a-lee
Said God was the best god they ever did see.
They partied and stayed up ’til way, way past eight,
Celebratin’ their save from a Fayro-ish fate.
But before very long they got thirsty and cranky,
And started to grumble, ‘specially one guy named Spanky.
Then the people got hungry, in fact they were starved.
They were dreaming of roasted quail perfectly carved,
And freshly baked bread, right off of the shelf,
And hoping Jehovah would bake it Himself.
Sure enough, when the night came, a Heebroo named Ralph
Was struck in the mouth by a quail flying south.
Then one after one they came flying in,
Soon quails were in stewpots and frying in tins.
The next morning out at the edge of the town
A Heebroo named Wharton was hangin’ around,
When he spotted a goldenish-pinkish-white disk,
And decided to eat it, despite the slight risk.
It was just like a sweet little edible plate,
And he ran into camp shouting, “Hey, this is great!
I’ve discovered the wonderflest food in existence!
It’ll feed us forever and be our subsistence!”
Now, despite the big words that Wharton had used,
He was instantly, nastily, verbly abused.
“You’re a fool,” they all shouted, “That one little speck
Can’t feed all these folks? What the hey? What the heck!”
But Mo said, “Hey, wait, folks! He’s right, look around.
There’re zillions of whatzits all over the ground!”
Then the people said, “Huh? Whatcha know!” and “He’s right!
They must have arrived while we slept in the night.”
There were whatzits in every cranny and nook,
For those who were willing to just take a look.
There were whatzits in every place they could think,
On their heads, in their beds, in their porcelain sinks.
So the Heebrooz and Sheebrooz said, “Oh, how He loves us,
To shower such blessings upon and above us!
And now we’ve no doubts. No, it’s not like it was.
For we finally have faith in the things that God does.”
But the whatzits went bad every time there were more
Than the people could finish the evening before.
Next morning that delicate flavor went south
And turned monstrously muckish inside of their mouths!
They were no longer goldenish-pinkish and white,
But a sick shade of green that put grown men to flight!
They said, “God, ahem, Sir. We don’t like to rail,
But we really don’t like your green whatzits and quail!
We said that we’d trust all the things that you do,
But we must tell you this time you’ve failed to come through!”
’Cause that’s the way Heebrooz and all people think.
When they can’t have it their way, they think it just stinks.
But Wharton stepped forward and, calm as can be,
Said, “Wait, I think maybe we’ve failed to see
That the thing we should really have placed our faith in
Is not what God does, but, well, simply in Him.”
Then the people said, “Wharton, now hey! What the heck?
You’re the guy who discovered that first little speck.
And now you say what matters most from the start
Isn’t found on the ground, but is found in our hearts?”
Then Mo hollered, “Bingo! You’ve figured it out.
Now the real test will come when you conquer your doubts,
And trust when you can’t see what’s happening next,
Just because, well, it’s God, and He always knows best.
’Cause you’ll never find anything good on the shelf,
’Til you learn to look past to the Father himself.”
After forty more years, Wharton Caleb O’Dell
Finally came to the kingdom of Izrael,
And he said when he crossed with the throng on that day
That the best part was trusting in God all the way.
Mitch Teemley 
Mitch, this is just delightful! You really captured the Seussian feel, and your wife’s illustrations are Seussian real!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks, Steve!
LikeLike
I love this retelling so much. Well done!
LikeLiked by 4 people
Thank you, JYP. Happy Pesach!
LikeLike
Bravo, Mitch! Your many talents never cease to amaze me.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you, Kellye!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So clever!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks, Paula!
LikeLiked by 2 people
What a fun take. I especially appreciated (and identified with):
“Now, despite the big words that Wharton had used,
He was instantly, nastily, verbly abused.”
LikeLiked by 2 people
;>)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I fancied your fantastical story about Wharton and the whatzits.
Your wife’s illustrations were fabulous, wonderful, really good fits.
If you keep writing such flabbergasting prose,
I’ll be delighted from my nodding noggin to my wiggling toes!
LikeLiked by 2 people
;>)
LikeLiked by 1 person
It reminded me at Dr. Seuss. Wonderfully structures, lots of wits.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Pingback: Little Rock, Big God | Mitch Teemley
Very clever!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Liz.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, Mitch.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m delighted to share this on Twitter!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Cool, Joy!
LikeLiked by 1 person
And just now on my FB page!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a treasure chest of talent you are! Why M. Teemley, I’m sure you’ll go far!
LikeLiked by 2 people
;>) Thanks, Pam!
LikeLike
Love the names too 😂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yeah, I had fun with those.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a delightful take on the Exodus and it murmuring people. Thanks.
LikeLiked by 2 people
My pleasure, Shirley.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You never cease to amaze me! That was such fun. “A fellow called Mo”, lol. 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
So glad you enjoyed it, Lesley.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Please keep me in your prayers Mitch I have the shingles rash. I’m believing God based on Isaiah 53:5 with his stripes we are healed.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Will do, Cora! I know shingles be horrible.
LikeLike
When I woke up almost all of the rash was gone and no more fever like and chills symptoms! Thanks for your prayers.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow. Praise God!
LikeLike
Well written 😊
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Aloya.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fantastic. Loved this. Brought a smile to my face and a zing in my step for the day ahead 😊
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ah, delighted to hear that, Nicola.
LikeLike
Just FABULOUS! Love this, Mitch!❤️🙏
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much, Renee!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this so much!! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
What a clever rendition! Very impressive.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks, Abe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now that was an excellent read! Great job, Mitch!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Nancy!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! This is great. Thank you, Mitch. You have a gift.
LikeLiked by 2 people
So kind of you to say, Karen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s very hard to find such accurate meter anywhere in the world of modern poetry and, when we do, it’s usually not nearly so entertaining. Impressive!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Ana! I actually find Seuss-meter (ba-DA-da, ba-DA-da, ba-DA-da, ba-DA) really easy to slip into.
LikeLike