The Tiniest Orphan (A Deceptive Little Tale)

Scrooge (ufvcascade.ca)

They’d moved into the village late last spring, with their filthy habits and strange ways. Wise people steered clear of them, so they knew they weren’t wanted. And now, finally, they were gone.

All but one.

Abandoned and alone, on a chilly autumn morn, the little fellow followed the squire into his house, clutching at the man’s arm. The tiny orphan spoke in a faint, thin voice, but the man knew what he was saying. “Please, sir, I’m so hungry.”

“No!” the squire railed. “Not a gram shalt thou have, I tell you, not an ounce!” And then, without a shred of pity, the man struck him!

“How could you?” screamed the squire’s wife.

“I’m sorry, dearest, it’s just that–”

“That’s what comes of leaving the door open! Is he dead?”

“Yes, and here’s the blood to prove it!”

The above incident occurred not in Dickensian England, but in my house just this morning. Yes, I am the squire with no pity for the tiny orphans whose nematoceran families have all but vanished with the last wave of summer. And good riddance, I tell you!

I hate mosquitoes.

Ø

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to The Tiniest Orphan (A Deceptive Little Tale)

  1. Mosquitoes leave, but then arachnids move into the house. yikes

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Glad you got her, Mitch. (I understand on the females bite.) God bless!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Fabulous analogy, Mitch. Now, can you tell me what to do about the gecko that is living somewhere in my car before it runs up my leg and causes me to have a wreck?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. rwfrohlich says:

    You had me going there, but I heartily approve of you’re wrath against those most annoying of creatures.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. That was quite a histrionic way to dispatch with a mosquito! (Not that they don’t deserve it.)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Chaya Sheela says:

    Love the twist in the tale!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. When we first moved into our home, our area was mosquito-alley that summer. Fortunately, enough folks in the development complained. The next summer – and ever since – no mosquitos. I don’t know if the township or the county paid them off, or helped them relocate, but I don’t miss them at all.🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. murisopsis says:

    Mosquitoes are evil! We still have them buzzing around and also now the stink bugs are swarming and the box elder bugs! Sparky is all about saving insect lives but he is willing to snuff the stink bugs and mosquitoes… the box elder bugs are harmless so he pitches them out the door!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. joannie6535 says:

    Goodness. Me too! But they certainly love me!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Kara Luker says:

    Hahaha well told! I hate them too!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Ahhh, the lowly and voracious mosquito. Their maddening screaming buzz and the hovering at your ears. This season we have the tripple invasion of the outsides of our homes. Hornets or wasps, Japanese beetles and box elder bugs. Soon, very soon the temperatures will stay below freezing for a while. Some of these critters can be seen in their death throes with snow on them. I didn’t even want to mention the deer flies or the horse flies (bigger cousins and nastier as first cousins can be) They left over a month ago.

    I once saw a dragonfly snatch up a deer fly and begin to munch on it as though it were a grilled cheese sandwich. It was held firmly as the dragonfly disappeared to my right. The mysteries and puzzles of rural life in NW Wisconsin.

    Jack Norm

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Jack says:

    Love this! Never thought of skeeters as orphans. Ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Ann Coleman says:

    What a great twist! I never saw that coming at all. And I’m ashamed to admit, that try as I might, I’ve never had sympathy for mosquitoes. But now I sort of do…..

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Mitch, you’re an actor. If you had a mosquito problem, why didn’t you call Batman?

    Like

  15. This is brilliant, Mitch. I was like “OMG, this isn’t how David Copperfield ends, is it?!”

    Like

  16. gpavants says:

    MItch, That sucks but it’s accurate. Thanks, Gary

    Like

  17. Pingback: The Tiniest Orphan (A Deceptive Little Tale) – MobsterTiger

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