Is Exercise Killing Us All?

Featured Image -- 71075Be afraid, be very afraid!

K.J. HansonMy Featured Blogger this week is K.J. Hanson of the somewhat unimaginatively named K.J.’s writing, on the other hand, is bursting with imagination and humor. I know literally nothing about the guy except that he must have difficulty swallowing since his tongue is perpetually in his cheek. In other words, K.J. is a very witty fellow. Visit him and you’ll see. And who knows, maybe he’ll even tell you what K.J. stands for.

Yes. Yes it is. Exercise is morally reprehensible. When you exercise, you consume a drastically increased amount of oxygen (the thing we all need) and expel tons of carbon dioxide (the bad stuff). Exercise contributes to global warming and is killing the planet (thanks fitness jerks). They’re basically poisoning the earth during their wind sprints and burpees (I hope that single-digit body fat percentage and rock-hard abs are worth it, you tool!).

Despite the above paragraph, I don’t think all people who exercise are bad, far from it. Well, not far from it. I actually pity them in a way, and not just for their assumed physical insecurities and probable lack of self worth. I pity them because one day they will understand how many lives they’ve ruined with their ignorance. I don’t envy anyone on that day.

Please keep an eye out for my next article: Why Writers are…

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About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Quips and Quotes, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Is Exercise Killing Us All?

  1. ejstoo says:

    Funny…at least I hope. …and I’m not just opening mouth and inserting foot 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Prior... says:

    witty but not my kind of humor – not everyone who works out does it for rock hard abs and zero body fat – some workout because we want to stay healthy and if we can’t bend we will break.
    I am not into cardio junky workouts – but sedentary lifestyles and drooped heads are bad for the immune system.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. joyroses13 says:

    Thanks for sharing! Have to show this to my husband before he exercises tonight. 😉 Witty humor I love and I am following him now. He writes stories, how can’t I follow. LOL!

    Liked by 4 people

  4. simba frank says:

    That’s a very thoughtful, intriguing and colourful post Lol. U wouldn’t say it

    Liked by 2 people

  5. rwfrohlich says:

    Doing my part, wearing out my recliner. Why I hardly breathe at all. Funny post; underlying truth about extremes.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. rwfrohlich says:

    PS, we need more humor like this; everyone is too dang serious these days. We need to have our follies exposed with a chuckle; that’s exactly what comedians used to do.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Linda Lee Adams/Lady Quixote says:

    I have a relative who goes by ‘K.J.’. I have it on good authority that the initials K.J. stand for Kill Joy.

    You’re welcome 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Todd R says:

    Thanks for posting. Reading that was a real gas.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Your correct Mitch, “K.J.’s writing is bursting with imagination and humor.” I laughed out loud in each story I read.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Hetty Eliot says:

    Right on! Exercise sucks!

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Damyanti Biswas says:

    Hahaha… This is hilarious.

    Liked by 2 people

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