Call Me Dr. Awkward

'Toshi' by Charles Deluvio (unsplash.com)Photo by Charles Deluvio

Thought for the Week

I normally write something meaningful on Mondays, some bit of wisdom to help you get through the week.

Not today.

Today you can call me “Dr. Awkward” because today all my thoughts are, well, a bit off somehow. Here are some examples:

  • Chocolate has been proven to be an aphrodisiac. But the effect is only measurable after consuming roughly 400 lbs. of chocolate. And who’s going to want you then?
  • Do kids at Zen summer camps sing, “If you’re happy and you know it, clap one hand?”
  • Our potted plants hate us. It takes them days to turn toward the sun. And then we come along and turn them the other way, so they’ll look “balanced.”
  • Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is a classic comedy. Gunfight at the O.K. Corral is a classic western. So, Fear and Loathing at the O.K. Corral would be, like, the greatest movie ever, right? Speaking of which, why is it just “the O.K. Corral?” Was the “Really Good Corral” already booked? (“You fellas ain’t gonna shoot-up my best corral! Now go on, git! You can use the O.K. corral over there if you want.”)
  • Time-Saving Tip for Guys: “Pee in the shower!”
  • Do geese see God? is a palindrome. That means it says the same thing in reverse. Which is pretty cosmic. If you’re a goose. Speaking of which, why isn’t the word for things that are the same in reverse a palindrome? I mean, “emordnilap?” I’m just not feeling it. Maybe we should call it a “Dr. Awkward.” I mean that’s a palindrome, and I’m O.K. with giving up the title, in fact, I’m Really Good with it. See what I did there?

I told you I was off today.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

48 Responses to Call Me Dr. Awkward

  1. Jane Fritz says:

    Why only guys?! 😏

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love it when you’re “off”!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the Zen summer camp one!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Wonderful play on words. Thanks Mitch. That was pretty un-awkward, particularly the palindromes.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Eva Ngelista says:

    However, I must say, denim suits you well, Dr. Awkward.
    Nice ears, too, kinda fluffy!
    Not sure if I would have recognized you on the street in your current “state” thou…

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Todd R says:

    You have a real talent for sharing “doctrine” in a personal way. This post…Never mind. RaceCar.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Not off, just what we needed. God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Loved this – very funny and clever 🙏💜🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  9. ejstoo says:

    Now the only unanswered question is what planet are you off on? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I read an article that advised peeing in the shower as a great way to save water. By not having to flush, you see.

    I can’t believe I just wrote the word peeing. In public. @-@

    Liked by 3 people

  11. revruss1220 says:

    Brilliant!
    I’m going to steal “Do geese see God.”
    Mitch, your “off” days are more “on” than my “on” days.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mitchteemley says:

      In the interest of transparency, Russell: I didn’t come up with “Do geese see God” or “Dr. Awkward,” I spotted them somewhere online. Only the comments about them are mine. Thanks!

      Like

  12. LaDonna Remy says:

    I really like your off day. Especially the palindrome.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. atimetoshare.me says:

    Youre funny even on your off days🥸🥸🥸

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Pingback: Call Me Dr. Awkward — Mitch Teemley | Ups Downs Family History

  15. Jorge Medico says:

    Thanks for the smile. We all need one today.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. kegarland says:

    I pee in the shower all the time. My husband thinks I’m barbaric lol Sorry if it’s TMI, but you brought it up 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I love palindromes. Thanks for a few new ones to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. anitashope says:

    I had to laugh because I spent about ten minutes today turning the seedling for the garden. It is still too cool to put them in the ground and they are leaning toward the sun in the window.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Your off day may have been awkward, but it sure gave me several reasons to laugh! Thanks, Mitch!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. murisopsis says:

    I had to share this with my husband – he was amused and impressed as much as i was!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. shankjoejoe says:

    I’ve heard chocolate can also release chemicals in the brain similar to the effects of cocaine. Sadly, the desperate individual would once again need to consume roughly 400 lbs. Not exactly cost-effective for the struggling addict 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Too funny thank you because as we know laughter is a medicine

    Liked by 1 person

  23. capost2k says:

    You should tell your doctor you will be off your meds permanently… or not. Just let him guess and see how long it takes to figure it out! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  24. You’re right, the word for palindrome should BE a palindrome. Something like “wordrow.”

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Pingback: Call Me Dr. Awkward – MobsterTiger

  26. Dawn Marie says:

    You’re funny. Hugs to you for the smiles.😊

    Liked by 1 person

  27. With this post, you’ve saturated cyberspace with pearls of insight and wisdom!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. K.L. Hale says:

    I’m so glad I found this post. I really wish you could hear me laugh, Mitch. Perhaps I need to record it. My twin says she only lives to make me laugh! My tiny hydroponic growing thingy’s light stopped working. Of course I used natural by my patio door and turned it every few days to balance the growth, lol. All while talking to it of course!

    Liked by 1 person

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