Hello, God?

(See videos at end of this post)

funny-protest-signs01My friend Mina is proudly neopagan. What’s a neopagan? Good question. It would be easier to say what a neopagan isn’t, since they represent more of a subculture than a specific set of beliefs. Mostly, though, they are Not-Christian-ians. Which was the key to Mina’s “conversion,” in the first place. It wasn’t about what she was for, it was about what she was against.

Mina was raised by legalistic parents for whom God was The Great Killjoy, his motto: “If it feels good, don’t do it!” What she fled to when she left that narrow (and unbiblical) set of beliefs was the extreme opposite, a sort of religious democracy in which everyone gets to define who or what they want God to be. Mina bristles at the slightest suggestion that God might not be customizable. Fact is, I’m not sure she actually even believes in God. But that’s not the point. The point is that she has a right to define him, her, or it the way she wants to!

But what if there is a God?

bread_with_legs___by_ambitiousartisan-d6y8btoI’m going to go out on a limb and assume you have a body and a personality with likes, dislikes, abilities and passions. Now, there may be someone, in say Indiana or Indonesia, who believes you are “a walking slice of pumpkin bread” — and I would defend that person’s right to believe what they wish —

But that wouldn’t make it true.

When God first spoke to Moses, Moses asked, Who shall I say sent me? “I AM WHO I AM,” God replied, “tell them I AM sent you.” (Exodus 3:13-14)  God’s point?  “I am not who they say I am, I AM WHO I say I AM!” And, you know, He kinda has a point.

The comedy sketch Hello, God? first performed by my old duo Mitch & Allen, addresses some common misconceptions about God, misconceptions based on speculation, rather than revelation. Bottom line:

  If a person (divine or otherwise) does not choose to reveal themselves  —  we can never really know who they are.

In Hello, God? a young man attempts to reach God by telephone. Instead of contacting the God who is, he ends up dialing a series of misconceptions, i.e. God who isn’ts.

Dear Mina, I love you. And I pray that one day you’ll come to know the God who is, a God who, however uncustomizable, is infinitely more wonderful…than any God who isn’t.

You can read or download the complete script by clicking here!


And you can watch the old Mitch & Allen videos right now!

Part One:

Part Two:

Part Three:

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in For Pastors and Teachers, Humor, Religion/Faith, Videos and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

51 Responses to Hello, God?

  1. I loved the videos!!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I my meaning God will find everyone. Give him time to do. 😉 xx Michael

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Enjoyed the video clips 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I believe there is God. I also believe God provides donuts when you arrive in heaven – on earth you have to go get them yourself …

    Liked by 7 people

  5. Well! Basket case, huh! (those shirts)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. numrhood says:

    you left exodus 3:11
    hide the word
    to your mind
    & don’t sin
    against thee


  7. Gary Fultz says:

    Sigh…the Mina’s in our lives. Loved the old sketches Mitch. I met a guy recently that has (still) all the albums you guys put out.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. lolol….”godly…must be Chinese.” These are great. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Those videos brought back memories, Mitch. We used to see drama ministries all the time, and they really appeal to the young people (and a lot of us older ones, too.) Loved the part about locking God in the closet. We do that, don’t we? 🙄

    PS Nice shirt. 😏

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Not to snub Allen, but, it just goes to show ya that there’s more than one clever Mitch in our midst. Since we all seem to be in a lighthearted mood, this Sunday, how about my own, on topic anecdote…

    Back in my retail clerking days, one Sunday afternoon, I found myself high atop a ladder replacing burned out fluorescent tubes. BTW, working at store front, I was pulling double duty as the greeter. Well, it was my low bass voiced, “Hello Ladies!” that startled two customers. One of them eventually looking upward and quipping, “Wow, I though God was talking to us.” We all got a laugh outta that… and I hope you did, too.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Manu says:

    Loved the videos Mitch.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. The videos are both hilarious and touching, as is often true of top-drawer comedy.  Realistic sound effects too.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Mina, if you happen to be reading this, I come in peace! So many who call themselves Christians are far from what Jesus Himself would call the ideal follower. In short, we all have feet of clay—even Neo Pagans. Anyway, if Mitch is your friend, it proves that people who believe differently can coexist. Please consider me a friend, as well.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Love this post, Mitch. I really loved George Carlin and thought he was brilliant, but he had one routine I always meant to respond to. That was the one where he described God as the invisible man in the sky who had all these rules and if you broke them he would send you to hell to burn in torment forever. Because he loves you. Oh, and he needs money. I always wanted to say that if I really thought that that was a valid description of God, I wouldn’t believe either. I realize that Carlin was really critiquing uncritical religion and unexamined faith, but it bothered me that so many would hear his routine and not realize what his real target was. Anyway, good stuff, my friend. Thanks

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Forgot to add—the videos are great! And now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to see if I can find my old ruffled shirt…

    Liked by 1 person

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  17. Chioma says:

    The videos were great. It’s such a marvelous job. So funny and yet so filling. My goodness, I love God🤧

    Liked by 1 person

  18. K.L. Hale says:

    Mitch, I would’ve been the young teen girl sitting in the front pew laughing at this skit (in my prairie shirt). This is not meant to make you feel old ;-). My search for truth has included much humor. Laughing at myself and leaning on good “clean” fun to help others discover this amazing one and only I AM! Sadly, what some in the world see as funny is not the humor I’m interested in–isn’t it cool that Christians can be funny and help deliver messages of hope and truth? (some really don’t think we have humot). Even more sad is I needed a “nugie, noogie, noogy?” from God to realize it’s a two-way conversation and HE IS ALWAYS there! Like Peter, I can definitely be a basket-case! I enjoy your posts so much, Mitch. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. BTW, that weight you (now) mention wasn’t even a (then) weighty issue.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. revruss1220 says:

    FANTASTIC! You guys were great! You should take a page from the book of every classic rock band and mount a “Mitch and Allen Reunion Tour!”

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Very well said and explained. Done with compassion and love as well as truth. I am not able to watch the videos right now, but I will come back for them. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  22. pkadams says:

    Oh hey! I just wrote on Neo-paganism, too! Can’t wait to watch these videos.

    Liked by 1 person

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