(See videos at end of this post)
My friend Mina is proudly neopagan. What’s a neopagan? Good question. It would be easier to say what a neopagan isn’t, since they represent more of a subculture than a specific set of beliefs. Mostly, though, they are Not-Christian-ians. Which was the key to Mina’s “conversion,” in the first place. It wasn’t about what she was for, it was about what she was against.
Mina was raised by legalistic parents for whom God was The Great Killjoy, his motto: “If it feels good, don’t do it!” What she fled to when she left that narrow (and unbiblical) set of beliefs was the extreme opposite, a sort of religious democracy in which everyone gets to define who or what they want God to be. Mina bristles at the slightest suggestion that God might not be customizable. Fact is, I’m not sure she actually even believes in God. But that’s not the point. The point is that she has a right to define him, her, or it the way she wants to!
But what if there is a God?
I’m going to go out on a limb and assume you have a body and a personality with likes, dislikes, abilities and passions. Now, there may be someone, in say Indiana or Indonesia, who believes you are “a walking slice of pumpkin bread” — and I would defend that person’s right to believe what they wish —
But that wouldn’t make it true.
When God first spoke to Moses, Moses asked, Who shall I say sent me? “I AM WHO I AM,” God replied, “tell them I AM sent you.” (Exodus 3:13-14) God’s point? “I am not who they say I am, I AM WHO I say I AM!” And, you know, He kinda has a point.
The comedy sketch Hello, God? first performed by my old duo Mitch & Allen, addresses some common misconceptions about God, misconceptions based on speculation, rather than revelation. Bottom line:
If a person (divine or otherwise) does not choose to reveal themselves — we can never really know who they are.
In Hello, God? a young man attempts to reach God by telephone. Instead of contacting the God who is, he ends up dialing a series of misconceptions, i.e. God who isn’ts.
Dear Mina, I love you. And I pray that one day you’ll come to know the God who is, a God who, however uncustomizable, is infinitely more wonderful…than any God who isn’t.
You can read or download the complete script by clicking here!
And you can watch the old Mitch & Allen videos right now!
Part One:
Part Two:
Mitch Teemley 
I loved the videos!!
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Thanks, Liz. Those were done a LOOOONG time ago in a galaxy far away.
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And you had the shirt ruffles to prove it!
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Reblogged this on OPENED HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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I my meaning God will find everyone. Give him time to do. 😉 xx Michael
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Enjoyed the video clips 🙂
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Thanks, Rosaliene.
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I believe there is God. I also believe God provides donuts when you arrive in heaven – on earth you have to go get them yourself …
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On earth the sugar aggravates arthritis, but I plan to enjoy them thoroughly when I get my new body. 😉
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Guilt-free sugar? Yes!
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Well! Basket case, huh! (those shirts)
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;>) The shirts were a joke, btw (they were hopelessly over-the-top even back then).
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you left exodus 3:11
hide the word
to your mind
& don’t sin
against thee
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Sigh…the Mina’s in our lives. Loved the old sketches Mitch. I met a guy recently that has (still) all the albums you guys put out.
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!! He should donate them to the Smithsonian. ;>)
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lolol….”godly…must be Chinese.” These are great. 🙂
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Thanks!
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Those videos brought back memories, Mitch. We used to see drama ministries all the time, and they really appeal to the young people (and a lot of us older ones, too.) Loved the part about locking God in the closet. We do that, don’t we? 🙄
PS Nice shirt. 😏
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;>) 70s-era prom shirts we found in a thrift shop.
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I remember certain young men wearing them when getting married, too. (Not mentioning any names. 😏)
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Not to snub Allen, but, it just goes to show ya that there’s more than one clever Mitch in our midst. Since we all seem to be in a lighthearted mood, this Sunday, how about my own, on topic anecdote…
Back in my retail clerking days, one Sunday afternoon, I found myself high atop a ladder replacing burned out fluorescent tubes. BTW, working at store front, I was pulling double duty as the greeter. Well, it was my low bass voiced, “Hello Ladies!” that startled two customers. One of them eventually looking upward and quipping, “Wow, I though God was talking to us.” We all got a laugh outta that… and I hope you did, too.
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;>D
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Just returned from watching your… literally… YOUR YouTube vids; where YOUR description revealed what, originally, had gone in one of my eyeballs and out the other:
“1,421 views • Mar 7, 2013 • Part One of the classic three-part routine from one of the best-selling Christian comedy videos of all time. Confused young man, Peter (Allen Weingartner), tries to reach God (Mitch Teemley) by phone. Hilarious exploration of people’s misconceptions about God and prayer.”
Just proves how a mustache can be a great disguise.
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A mustache, 30+ years younger, and quite a few extra pounds (I was at my all-time heaviest when we shot that).
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Oh, and black hair, as opposed to my current thinning-but-oh-so-distinguished silver mane.
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Loved the videos Mitch.
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Thanks, Manu!
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The videos are both hilarious and touching, as is often true of top-drawer comedy. Realistic sound effects too.
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;>) Thanks, MC.
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Mina, if you happen to be reading this, I come in peace! So many who call themselves Christians are far from what Jesus Himself would call the ideal follower. In short, we all have feet of clay—even Neo Pagans. Anyway, if Mitch is your friend, it proves that people who believe differently can coexist. Please consider me a friend, as well.
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Love this post, Mitch. I really loved George Carlin and thought he was brilliant, but he had one routine I always meant to respond to. That was the one where he described God as the invisible man in the sky who had all these rules and if you broke them he would send you to hell to burn in torment forever. Because he loves you. Oh, and he needs money. I always wanted to say that if I really thought that that was a valid description of God, I wouldn’t believe either. I realize that Carlin was really critiquing uncritical religion and unexamined faith, but it bothered me that so many would hear his routine and not realize what his real target was. Anyway, good stuff, my friend. Thanks
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Thanks, Steve.
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Forgot to add—the videos are great! And now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to see if I can find my old ruffled shirt…
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;>)
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The videos were great. It’s such a marvelous job. So funny and yet so filling. My goodness, I love God🤧
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Aw, thanks, Chioma.
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Mitch, I would’ve been the young teen girl sitting in the front pew laughing at this skit (in my prairie shirt). This is not meant to make you feel old ;-). My search for truth has included much humor. Laughing at myself and leaning on good “clean” fun to help others discover this amazing one and only I AM! Sadly, what some in the world see as funny is not the humor I’m interested in–isn’t it cool that Christians can be funny and help deliver messages of hope and truth? (some really don’t think we have humot). Even more sad is I needed a “nugie, noogie, noogy?” from God to realize it’s a two-way conversation and HE IS ALWAYS there! Like Peter, I can definitely be a basket-case! I enjoy your posts so much, Mitch. Thank you!
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I’m so glad you got that “noogie,” Karla!
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BTW, that weight you (now) mention wasn’t even a (then) weighty issue.
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FANTASTIC! You guys were great! You should take a page from the book of every classic rock band and mount a “Mitch and Allen Reunion Tour!”
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Or maybe “Mitch & Allen, the Two Shades of Grey Tour!”
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Very well said and explained. Done with compassion and love as well as truth. I am not able to watch the videos right now, but I will come back for them. 🙂
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Oh hey! I just wrote on Neo-paganism, too! Can’t wait to watch these videos.
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Shoot me a link to your post, PK, I’d love to read it!
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Sure, here ya go! Thanks! https://blueskiesandgreenpastures.com/2021/11/29/spiritual-con-artists/
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Loved the sketch!
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Thank you!
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