When I was a kid, I loved being scared. Or rather, I loved having been scared. Why? Culinary experts say we love spicy-hot foods due to a secondary effect: when the active ingredient in chili peppers triggers pain, our brains respond with a rush of feel-good endorphins. Result? Spice is nice!
Scariness seems to work the same way. When the sensation of fear strikes, our brains follow-up with a rush of relief that we’re OK now, that the threat has passed, or wasn’t even real to begin with. Result? Scary is fun!
When I was ten, I wrote what I believe was my first short story (or the oldest one my mom kept, anyway). It’s a blatant rip-off of “Night on Bald Mountain” from Disney’s Fantasia. Why? Because when you’re learning to write, you steal. And because “Night on Bald Mountain,” set to Mussorgsky’s creeptastic music, scared the bejeebers out of me, and so… I loved it!
Here then, is my terrifyingly misspelled first short story:
Under Cherry mountain lies a small little town named Baster Ville every were it is quit exept at night! The dark night is honted by screems and horible sounds if a person were very carliss he might indup a spirit himself! Soon Cherry mountain will no longer be itself but an unhumanley black figure against the dark sky it is the most important thing about the town. For if it wernt for Cherry mountain or shall I say Evil mountain people would all be dead! A sharp cutting noise comes from the old black smithes shop. He is now just a spirit or shall I say a ghost ha ha, ha, ha, ha!
Under the willow tree the horse troff is now boiling with little destructive devilles and out comes a skeleton on a horse caring a skull better nown as a head! On the ground there are little heads all over just waiting to be plucked so they can here the bloody screems of a person. The mill is broken by one sharp blow of of the creater on the mountains wing. Now it is dawn and the oak tree has stopped burning, the troff water is cool again, and the spirits have gone back to there graves.
What? Haven’t had enough? Well, here’s what may be the scariest television commercial ever made. Don’t say I didn’t warn you ha ha, ha, ha, ha!